Talking dirty - what do you say?

[innocent]

Never done it, think I should...

But where to start?

Anyone brave enough to share?

Please

I had an ex who used to put me off my stroke by trying to talk dirty. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth and press down to shut him up before I collapsed in giggles and ruined the mood.

MB... just a quick hijack to settle an argument..... what is the difference between something that's a bird and fowl? I mean, when is a bird a fowl? It cropped up during a conversation about bird 'flu today. Somebody said it only affects 'fowl'.

rofl at mascaraohara's suggestion of phrasing you "wanna suck his cock" more graphically. How much more graphic do you want, Pictionary?!!

Skewer me, stud-boy, with the Sausage of Lurrve!

Just call 'em all 'baby'.

PMSL at Sausage of Lurve!

Whatever happened to, 'Fuck me! Fuck me hard and deep!'?

Well, what a bunch of coy, girlie numpties..the poster (male or female, not clear..)asks for a bit of advice on and you lot suddenly raise your fans and giggly nervously to each other over the top of them....wait til I tell expat..deary me!!

innocent...if you are starting out on this adventure, but are a bit unsure, an idea would be to spend a few moments 'getting into character' of whomsoever you think would be good at this...the filth will roll from your lips much easier....

and whoever said we are simple creatures and easily fooled..ha!..we just often let you get away with poor performances out of kindness....

I tried, Pann .

Expat!!!!

Changed my name for this as didn't wanna sound like a dirty bitch.

I always start with fantasies. Perhaps one I think he might have. I remember when he laughed one day and said something about lesbians, that night I brought it up in bed, he got really turned on (we wouldn't for the record, ever ever get involved in anything that involved other people)

Also sometimes we say what we will do to eachother when we are alone in a hotel room.

Other times he will text me and describe what he will do to me when he gets home, those days are always long

Well, I am a dirty ride. Whaddya wanna now?

What kind of dirty talk?

Is this before foreplay? During foreplay - the sort of 'what I want you to do to me' thing? Or during intercourse?

Or the no words at all because your mouth is too full to speak?

also, I find telling him how he will find you when he gets home works a treat as well.

oh and also telling them that you f*cked yourself earlier thinking about them is another good line (even if you didn't)

Dirty talk has a time and place.

Sometimes it's better not to say anything. Sometimes you don't have to - those are rare occassions.

Sometimes it's better just to show instead.

'Ain't the first time, ain't the greatest. But I'll tell you, if I had to do it all again. I wouldn't change a stroke, cuz baby I'm the most, with a girl as fine as she was then.'

I actually videoed myself playing with a rabbit in the bath one day I made all the right noises, looked at the camera lots of time etc...

then when I went to watch it back I realised I had it at the wrong angle and had been recording the tile above my head So all dh got to see and hear, was a white bathroom tile and me moaning his name over and over will never try that again!

sorry pann.. I stand by my statement.. you can whisper to any bloke

"I really wanna suck your cock" and they are putty in your hands.

Tell him his dick is so hard and big and you can't wait to have him inside you.
That'll work every time, esp if you say it in a soft husky voice as you breathe softly into his ear, and press against him!!!!

Not that I've ever done that.
Virgin birth in my house.!!!

I take it that pirates are just SO last year

PMSL @ Foulmouth

Mascara.....can only think you've been very lucky...or your very good at it!

OOOAaar, walk the plank me hearty!!!!
ROFL
Sorry, bit drunk

Usually commenting on their massive size etc works, massage his ego, maybe read literature togethedr or to him?

yeah but they all tell you you're the best.. it's all soooo predictable.

talk of wet bits and other women also is a sure bet, lol.

WIthout wishing to put the OP off, sorry all but nothing's a sure bet. People vary a hell of a lot and even though lots would pretend to be turned on by someone giving them what they think they ought to want, (because most people are mad keen to give the impression of being sexually 'normal' even though there's really no such thing) you can't be sure ... until you try a few things. Innocent, think of stuff that would turn you on, because then at least one of you is enjoying it - and even if what you are saying isn't pushing his/her (having realised that you didn't state what gender either you or your partner are - not that it's actually any of our business...) buttons then the fact that you are getting excited by what you are saying will be a turn on in itself for the other person.