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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Clingy boyfriend?

77 replies

cheesecadet · 02/04/2017 12:17

So I've been seeing this lad for a few months. Apart from this issue we get on and the spark is amazing.

He sometimes won't take no for an answer. Like when I'm working on a Friday night and I want to go straight home to bed rather than his he doesn't like it and will pester and pester. Also if I'm up very early for work one day (5.40) he'll be annoyed if I don't stay at a family gathering after 10 pm. No occasion just takeaway and chats.

He's also tried to make me feel guilty when I've not met him for lunch in his lunch break and is always mithering to give him lifts everywhere.

Also he was messaging me the other day and seemingly encouraging me to tell him how I felt about him, really pushing for answers. So when I said "I love you" (which I wanted to wait a bit longer to say) he never said it back. After a discussion about it the next day he told me " it's a bit soon"

What the fuck?

OP posts:
Shayelle · 02/04/2017 12:22

Sounds like a knob.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/04/2017 12:41

Weirdo alert.

Thefutureisbright2017 · 02/04/2017 12:45

Red flags all over the place there OP Hmm

MichaelSheensNextDW · 02/04/2017 12:47

Manipulative, controlling, disrespectful wanker.

JK1773 · 02/04/2017 12:48

Sounds awful, his behaviour would put me right off! It's alarming really

ImperialBlether · 02/04/2017 12:50

There are more red flags here than at a Communist Party conference!

FrenchLavender · 02/04/2017 12:56

He's weird, immature and insecure.

The thing about pushing you to admit your feelings was particularly wanky thing to do.

AlternativeTentacle · 02/04/2017 13:05

Apart from this issue we get on and the spark is amazing.

Funny how this always seems to happen in abusive relationships. Oh but we have such a spark, he is such a good dad blah blah blah.

Yeah yeah, whatever. The proof is how he treats you and to be fair, it ain't good is it? The mind fucks have started already.

MyLifeInColour · 02/04/2017 13:11

You are asking because deep down it doesn't feel right, go with your instincts. If it feels wrong then don't stay with him.

ForalltheSaints · 02/04/2017 13:17

lad is a fair description

Belle1102 · 02/04/2017 13:21

He sounds very immature and not a particularly nice person. If he had your best interests at heart then he'd stop this selfish childish behaviour and act like more of a man. I would put an end to it if it were me, but if you don't want to do that then you definitely need to have a stern word with him that you won't be putting up with it any longer

xStefx · 02/04/2017 13:27

Aaahhh run ! Really !

Original poster
cheesecadet · 02/04/2017 13:44

Thanks for the replies. Can't understand why he can't chill, surely we should be as high as kites with each other, I mean it's the honeymoon period.

On our first date he wanted hugs in the pub (should've known then!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
cheesecadet · 02/04/2017 13:46

He's talked about a long term ex (one he has a child with) and internet relationships but has said they just fizzled out.

OP posts:
flippinada · 02/04/2017 13:47

None of this sounds good. Needy, controlling and immature. Listen to your instincts and break it off.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 02/04/2017 13:50

Sounds a lot like the guy I recently broke up with...

Original poster
cheesecadet · 02/04/2017 13:51

He's really skint as well and I'm starting to get fed up with paying for things.

Oh and another thing, he takes offence at lots of things I say like, I'm a happy person or I really don't want any more children!

Not sure why I am with him really. I like the sex though!

OP posts:
Original poster
cheesecadet · 02/04/2017 13:52

Newt his name doesn't begin with R does it?!!

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 02/04/2017 13:54

Doesn't begin with S does it 😱

TheNaze73 · 02/04/2017 13:58

He sounds like a bell end. Bin him off.

Being on the end of clinginess isn't nice

PurpleThursday · 02/04/2017 14:07

I had all these red flags with my X. Stupidly I read it all wrong, felt sorry for him, was flattered by his 'need' to be with me, kept trying to support him as he claimed 'everyone else let's me down and doesn't have faith in me'. Etc etc. I had an awful, stressful and emotionally abuse relationship with this man for years, who was (and 2 years on is still) a nightmare to get away from. Well done for seeing this man for what he actually is OP. Good sex won't be worth the heartache ahead if you continue.

Naicehamshop · 02/04/2017 14:12

I wouldn't describe him as "clingy" - more like controlling and well on his way to being abusive. Bin.

StewieGMum · 02/04/2017 14:15

This isn't clingy behaviour. It's controlling behaviour with huge red flags for domestic violence. Walk away now. You deserve better than this.

expatinscotland · 02/04/2017 14:17

Jesus wept! This guy is a LOSER. Bin him asap. Manipulative, whingy, immature sponger creep. Get some boundaries and get rid of anyone like this immediately.

Mulberry72 · 02/04/2017 14:20

Red flag central!

Bin & block.