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Original poster

Having children when your 34 years or more.

68 replies

WhatAdifferenceAdaveMakes · 14/03/2017 16:42

Hi all,

Following the success of my last post and knowing how much it helped people please feel free to respond to the thread.

Who out there has had children when they over 34 years old bracket. If you did what age did you have them? How old are you now and do you feel uncomfortable about any aspect of your life or your child's life.

Also how old were you meet your partner? What was it on the back of? (i.e. a bad relationship)

Thanks in advance from someone in crisis.

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 14/03/2017 16:49

I had ds at 37. .
At 41 I met my now dh and had my last ds at 43!!
Physically wasn't harder than when I had dc younger.

Sickofthisalready · 14/03/2017 16:49

I was 36 when I had DS, im 39 today!

Met my partner when I was 29, and he left us 3 weeks ago.

I do wish id had him a couple of years earlier so I couldve maybe had another, but we wanted to buy a house first and be in the best position financially.

FooFighter99 · 14/03/2017 16:51

My mum was 36 when she had me!

JellyWitch · 14/03/2017 16:52

I was 36 when I had my second. No issue with that. Would consider another if we could afford it and I will be 40 next year.

Lovelybreadbin · 14/03/2017 16:54

I was 34 with my first and 36 with my twins. Met my partner at 30, married at 32, waited a few months before trying. I feel completely happy with how things turned out. I feel I was the right age for everything.

ChangedToday · 14/03/2017 16:57

34 and 37. No problems, no regrets and totally average among my circle of friends and acquaintances from work and school. Had been with DH for 15+ years (married for 1), just our life/work circumstances were not so ideal for kids earlier.

PerryCoxHair · 14/03/2017 16:57

First at 23, last at 37. Physically didn't find it any harder or anymore tiring. More tired but I think that's because I because I have 4. More patience with my last than my first.

FrizzBombDelight · 14/03/2017 16:58

I am 35 and pregnancy, I thought I was an "old" first time mum but everyone in my maternity classes are around the same age or older. I must look up your other thread, once I figure out how Confused

FrizzBombDelight · 14/03/2017 16:59

*pregnant

RememberToSmile1980 · 14/03/2017 16:59

I met and married my husband at 28 - had first child at 31,currently 8 weeks pregnant with no.2!

dowhatnow · 14/03/2017 17:03

First at 33 1/2 --so nearly made your criteria, and 2nd at 35. All my friendship group had them later on and they don't seem to stand out at school in anyway.
I remember a girl when I was at school who had an older mum and she was teased a lot because she was very old fashioned in dress and attitude. That doesn't seem to be the case now as people seem younger for longer iyswim, and obviously it is more common.

Why are you in crisis?

dowhatnow · 14/03/2017 17:04

Oh and I didn't meet DH until I was 30.

LillyLollyLandy · 14/03/2017 17:11

I have 3 kids, born at 34, 37 and 39.

namechange20050 · 14/03/2017 17:14

I was 35 when I had my baby. He's not quite two yet. This age is totally the norm in my peer group. In fact I know a few people who had them 40+.

BertrandRussell · 14/03/2017 17:15

I met my partner when I was 19. Had my children at 37 and 42.

Timeforbedithink · 14/03/2017 17:16

Met my partner when I had just turned 30, married 4 years later at 34, first child born at 35 and second a few weeks after I turned 37. We've packed a lot into a short space of time. Personally I found pregnancy hard physically and more so the second time around but do I have other health issues which mean I get more tired than most. I find the sleepless nights and physical running about after a toddler harder than some of my younger mother friends I think.

Theknittinggorilla · 14/03/2017 17:16

I had dc1 at almost 33, dc2 at 35, expecting dc3 at 37. Was one of the youngest in my NCT group with dc1, who ranged from 30 to 41 and have all since had another child. Average age of first dc amongst my friends is mid/late thirties though a few are a bit older. Also have friends my age planning to start planning for a family now (so 36/37). Think we will be done after this one but not based on age

Met my Dh at 21, got married at 31.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 14/03/2017 17:20

I met DH when I was 35, had our first child when I was 36 and our second when I was 39.

I don't think I was ready to settle down and have children before 34.

imip · 14/03/2017 17:22

I met started going out with dh at 29 (he was 26), married at 31.

Struggled with infertility, but fell pregnant just after I turned 34. Sadly dd was stillborn. I fell pregnant straightaway and had another 4 dds at 35, 37, 39 and 40.

I don't regret my age, but obviously losing dd was devastating. Infertility was no walk in the park, but can't compare to losing dd.

No problem with my age, I'm surrounded by some younger and some older mums - it is what it is and I travelled, earnt well, lives a pretty brilliant life beforehand, so I don't begrudge the difficulty of 4 primary aged dc, one with special needs (not related to my age!!).

jimijack · 14/03/2017 17:24

Met dh at 23,
Had 1st child at 33
2nd child at 43

Hmm there's a trend of 3's here....

Liska · 14/03/2017 17:24

I had dd at 40. She's now 9.5 and I'm 50. DH is 38 Blush Hasn't caused problems or been weird at all so far, although I wasn't able to have any more dc (miscarriage at 43, breast cancer at 44). It probably helps that it seems quite normal here - I'm in Oxford. Two of dd 's friends have mums the same age as me, and fathers who are older than that. I'm usually taken for younger so I don't know if that makes a difference. I didn't notice problems with energy etc until after I'd had chemo.

Deadsouls · 14/03/2017 17:25

whatadifference you haven't said what your crisis/dilemma is or why you're asking these questions

TorchesTorches · 14/03/2017 17:30

Met DH at 35, married at 37, DD at 39 and DS at 40. All straight forward and unhurried. All worked out fine. Am 45 now and feel that the things happened at the right time for me, i couldn't have had a baby any earlier really, was not in the right place emotionally. You ask what meeting DH was on the back of. An interesting question. It was 6 weeks after i split up with a guy i knew want right for me but i had kept on with at a bit of a 'reserve', and had been on off with (mostly off) for 5 years. We had a massive row one day and i realised i had to sever it for good as we wanted different things (he wanted a baby with me and i didnt!) I was happier single than with being with mr reserve/ back up. As i said, met DH 6 weeks later.

gingeristhenewblack43 · 14/03/2017 17:40

Got together with ExH at 29, lived together before getting married at 35, had DD at 37 (almost 38), ExH was 42. He started an affair when DD was 9 months. I found out a year later and he left us for OW.

Liska · 14/03/2017 17:42

Oops sorry forgot to add that I met DH when he was 24 and I was just about to turn 36!! It sounds awful but felt normal at the time: I was a mature student and we meet at a Uni do. He thought I was the same age until I told him, but neither of us thought it would be serious, obvs. We had some heart searching when we realised it was, especially because he really wanted children, and I worried I was too old. We were long distance for a while when I was studying abroad, and started trying for a baby as soon as we got back together. I was 39 and it took me 6 weeks to get pregnant. There's no such thing as an ideal relationship, or an ideal time to have children.