Having children when your 34 years or more.

[WhatAdifferenceAdaveMakes]

Hi all,

Following the success of my last post and knowing how much it helped people please feel free to respond to the thread.

Who out there has had children when they over 34 years old bracket. If you did what age did you have them? How old are you now and do you feel uncomfortable about any aspect of your life or your child's life.

Also how old were you meet your partner? What was it on the back of? (i.e. a bad relationship)

Thanks in advance from someone in crisis.

Damn. I'm spouting off to a researcher/the DM aren't I? That'll teach me to mumsnet on the bus.

I got unexpectedly pregnant at 35 and gave birth a little less than 3 weeks before my 36th birthday. Baby is only 6 weeks old but I dont see my age as a problem. In fact I'm glad I didn't have a baby at 25, or even 32, I've just been faffing around with life really.

Been with my partner since I was 29, but we didnt get proper serious ubtil i was 31. I was married before that, and I'm so grateful we never managed to have kids (I was told I couldnt)

I don't see a problem with having kids later in life as long as you are physically and mentally OK with it. :)

Had my 1st at 29 and I'm ttc no2 at 35. So following with interest!!!

I always find these threads perplexing. Probably because I live near London and it's completely normal to have children later.

In fact, all of my friends have been mid-30s and older. The colleagues I work with have all been mid-30s to mid-40s.

I'm 34 and we'll be TTC next year once we've saved up money for mat leave. I still feel like I'm a bit too young and not quite ready but realise my ovaries might not agree

I met DH at 31 (through work related thing), started dating him 8 months later at 32.5, got engaged at 33.5 and married just after my 34th birthday.

Dating was definitely a rebound thing. He was the friend who was there to pick up the pieces when I broke up with my long term boyfriend.

Definitely some red flags now looking back (particularly anger issues if he didn't get his way), but I was very aware that I was getting closer to 'mid 30s', and he was clearly very keen to settle down (marriage and babies), and on many counts we seemed a perfect match. Same hobbies, same interests, got on well 95% of the time.

DS1 conceived at 34 and born at 35. Chelsea and Westminster hospital put a red 'older mother' stamp on the front of my notes.

DD born at 37.

Quite quick to get pregnant each time, which was useful. I am very aware that if I had difficulties, I hadn't left myself much free time.

Red flags turned out to be very real with hindsight. Domestic abuse, including direct assaults on DS, and ended up leaving Nov 2014.

Met DH at 26
Married at 29
DS at 37
DD at 40
(DH is nearly 5 years younger than me).

We had children relatively late because we didn't want them until then, not because of any fertility issues. We were very lucky that there were no fertility issues when we did try.

I am now 46. I do sometimes feel a bit old when I realise that some children in DD's class have GPs my age.

Met dp at 23. No rebound. Just in a pub one night!
Had dc at 29,37,39. No issues with age although I wish maybe I hadn't left such a gap between meeting dp and first dc. And gap between dc1&2. Although it was easy having such a gap. 46 now and would like another. Feel fit and well. Dp too.

Good to see so many positives. DW had ours at 31, 33 and 38. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Key thing is having them with the right person, not age. It took both of us a long time to find 'the one', that is more important than age ( although I do appreciate the biological clock argument that so many women either feel or are subjected to). I am 10 years older than DW, geriatric dad syndrome :). Do I care?, no, I love them- and would have more but DW isn't so keen :) :)

34 seems OK. Seems a good age to be honest...

You will still only be 48-50 when the bairn hits mid teens. Should still be fairly fit and active.

All the best.

34 is a normal age to have a baby. Not sure what the big deal is about having a baby in your 30s or 40s to be honest

I had my DS when I was 42 (nearly 43 ) - I can't imagine having a child in my 30s - DH and I had been together for 12 years - it worked for us, we were financially in a much more settled place, had enjoyed a successful career - it was right for us, not saying it is right for everyone.

I didn't meet my DH until I was 41. Having been single for most of my 30s after a 10 tear relationship. Started TTC at 42 suffered multiple miscarriages. DS born when I was 45 and DD born 19 months later at 47! So I have 2 under 2. Its hard work and I am sure i would have more energy if I were in my 20s but I have quite a lot more energy than those in my NCT group . Not ideal but both we are financially secure, have strong careers experience and are both fit and healthy. Would have loved to have kids younger but didn't meet the one until late in life - I know we are incredibly fortunate to have the babies we have. They are fabulous!

greenlizard I am feeling very positive at your baby born at 47!I'm gonna go for it at 46!

Stopped having babies at 38 and age has never been any sort of issue.

I met dh at 28, introduced by a mutual friend, married at 29/married 27 years. Babies were at 32, 34, and 46. Sometimes the children in the youngest's class ask if I am her grandmother (cheeky gits) as I don't color the grey out of my hair.

I agree with the hard part being running after toddler age and sleep deprivation early on (that's hard for everyone...however, it is harder to bounce back the next day) (although my older dc have been fabulous helping out). I am 55 now, youngest just turned 9, and things are going great. I am getting back into shape, became a Girl Scout/Guide leader, and am still able to sew a quilt every now and then.

Met DH at 23, married at 31, pregnant at 35, gave birth at 36.
Classed as older mum by midwives but pre birth classes were full of mums my age and older.
Ttc 2nd at 39 and currently at almost 44 still failing to fall pregnant. I'm still happy to keep trying tho. DH cousin gave birth at 47 so I might be lucky yet.
I wish I'd started earlier due to secondary infertility I'm now going through but that was the decision we made.

OP come back! What's this all about? What are you asking for?

37 first and just had DS last week at 41. Met DH when I was 35.

Met = 36
Married = 38
DS - 40

Had my first one week before my 34th birthday. Second was born when I was almost 39.

I was 34 and 37 having our two children. Had been married 4 years, together 11 when we had our first. We just didn't feel ready before then, I was focussed on (and enjoying) my career. We were by no means unusual in our circle, lots of friends of similar ages didn't have babies until well into their 30s. We're mid 40s now and I don't have any regrets.

With partner for about six years, then got pregnant. Wasn't trying. I was 37 when I had my gorgeous ds. Had a dd when I was 41.

Partner is now ex, thank feck. He was and remains an arsehole. My only regret is wasting my thirties on the horrible git. Oh, and I wish I'd chucked him out the exact day I found out I was pg with my dd. But other than that, my life with my darlings (he hasn't bothered with dc for nearly three years) is fab.

I didn't see your other thread. I wonder what you're getting at when you ask whether any aspect of life is uncomfortable. Do you mean because I'm ancient (now 49) and the terrible effect it must be having on the dc?!

Oh shit I'm 48! Demented.

Met dh at 31

Had ds at 34 and dd at 35

Wish we had started earlier as we have completely failed to get dc3, been trying since I was 39. Now 42. Reading pp though I guess we should just keep trying

No regrets

First at 34, last at 40.
Married at, um, 32, but together from 23. Career moves meant we were in different parts of the country for a few of the intervening years.
No regrets, it did (and still does) feel completely normal for my peer group, including school mums round here (not London either!)