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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I still hate the bitch.....

68 replies

housewifedesperate · 20/02/2017 22:33

The stupid little cunt that was the other woman.
Why? I want this hatred to go.....I know she's undeserving of my emotions but I can't help it.
Just when I think she can do no more, she does. She's been a cunt to me and a cunt to my children.
I don't know what I want from this message but just wanted to vent. How can people be so evil.
Btw, I know my ex h is also a cunt, he just doesn't seem to revel quite as much in the drama as his dumb girl friend

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 20/02/2017 22:38

What happened?

HmmOkay · 20/02/2017 22:39

I am really sorry, OP. Sounds really tough on you.

If she has been really horrible to your children then I can understand your frustration. You'd be less bothered if she'd only been horrible to you.

How long have you been split from your ex?

littlefrog3 · 20/02/2017 22:41

I am sorry you're suffering from your DH's affair OP.

How long ago was it?

Emilyx · 20/02/2017 22:43

Sounds like an awful situation, really sorry for you.

I would say that you will probably always hate her as she was the OW. Last thing you need is her being a bitch to you. I would guess she is jealous of you.

I hope that things get better for you and your children.

Original poster
housewifedesperate · 20/02/2017 22:52

It's been nearly 2 years. I've booked myself into work counselling so hopefully I can get something out of that.
Yes, the fact that she's been a bitch to my children grates. I honestly think she's sociopathic. More fool the ex h, he's stuck with the tool! Unfortunately, it seems he's lost his children because he's chosen the girl friend over them. Another tool!
I think I'm reeling because I'm having to deal with an imminent house move with 2 teenagers, caused in part by their selfishness.
I do hate that I'm still so angry but she has caused this and continues to with her not so subtle use of social media. The ex h used to do that a bit but stopped it after a letter from my solicitor pointing out the hurt it could cause our children.

OP posts:
HmmOkay · 20/02/2017 22:54

The fact that she is going out of her way to hurt you and the children means that she is really insecure.

She had an affair with a cheating scumbag and now she is living with a cheating scumbag. She'll be watching him like a hawk because she knows exactly what he is capable of. She can never relax - and it serves her right.

Can you block her on social media?

HappyJanuary · 20/02/2017 22:54

If she has genuinely mistreated your dc then you need to take action.

If you just hate her for existing in the world, and I wouldn't blame you for that one bit, then just remember that the best revenge is a life well lived. She'll always be jealous of you, twist that knife by building a fantastic life for yourself.

PaterPower · 20/02/2017 22:56

I still loathe the OM and it's been a few years now so I get how you feel.

I don't have to interact with him any more but, when I did, he was such a twat I found myself constantly wanting to remove the smug grin from his face.

Preferably with a baseball bat.

Being the bigger person is really shit sometimes, but you just have to trust that karma will bite the bitch on her arse at some point.

Original poster
housewifedesperate · 20/02/2017 22:59

I'm not on social media, other people tell me what she's been up to whether I want to know or not.
I think she is jealous but more than that, she's immature and loves the drama. I think she loved the fact she 'stole' my partner away from me and can't help trying to get mileage out of it.
I know she's sad. I just don't understand people like that.

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 20/02/2017 23:03

Let them get on with it - they deserve each other.
Meanwhile, protect your DC from the worst if it.
It might not feel like it at the moment, but it is really the best thing that you can do.
Your children will realise in their own time what the situation is. Be there to support them and guide them.
It's all you can do. Flowers

Finola1step · 20/02/2017 23:03

house normally I would be in the "it was him that broke your marriage" camp but I'm in a right mood tonight. So fuck it. I'll join ya. She's a dick. An effing dick. In fact, she is such a dick, that she could win awards. The Dick-afta or The Dick-Oscar for Dick of the Year.

She must be a real piece of work. I have unfortunately come across someone similar in a professional capacity. Revelled in it at every effing opportunity. But she was too thick to realise that she hadn't won. She took home the booby prize. The Dusty Bin of Dickhood.

In all seriousness, I hope that the house move goes well and that you and your dc get some peace.

Montane50 · 20/02/2017 23:03

Id be having a few stern words with the people shit stirring as well op. 2 years have passed so they must be pretty sad to tittle tattle to you still.
Counselling sounds good though

karmassidekick · 20/02/2017 23:03

She sounds awful. I also don't understand why any woman would want anything to do with a lying cheating coward let alone be lumbered sleeping next to the bastard but many do it seems. You have to feel sorry for women like that.

redandwhite1 · 20/02/2017 23:04

I hope you get the satisfaction of knowing you are the bigger Better person and she is the person who can't sleep at night or look in the mirror because of what she did / is doing

Fifthattemptatusername · 20/02/2017 23:04

It's been 14 years for me and Still I would stand by and cheerfully watch her choke. I know it's irrational as I feel nothing about my ex who in fact was the married one etc etc. But she was my friend and I can't forgive.

I hate that she still has so much head room but I still occasionally dream that she's in my house expecting me to play host. I feel total indifference to my ex and wish I could reach that level with her.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/02/2017 23:05

she truly is a cunt Flowers

SandyY2K · 20/02/2017 23:05

Tell people you don't want to hear it. If your Ex is happy with a woman harming his children, then he's just as bad if not worse, because they are his DC.

Sounds like they deserve each other.

Karma will catch up with them.

karmassidekick · 20/02/2017 23:08

I would say karma has already caught up with them, they have to live with each other. A nasty bitch and a stupid faithless spineless bastard. They deserve what they got. What a life.

LittlePaintBox · 20/02/2017 23:09

Your 'friends' need to have a look at themselves. They're just trying to stir up a bit of drama. They must have very boring lives. You do not need to know it.

Winniethepooer · 20/02/2017 23:14

2 years?

Get some counselling or therapy.
Tell your 'friends ' to shut up.

Take control.

Don't give her anymore of your thoughts or energy.

Serously...Flowers move on.

Finola1step · 20/02/2017 23:15

Oh yes, your shit stirring "friends" are dicks as well. You have to wonder why they tell you - unless it is linked to the dc.

user1471530109 · 20/02/2017 23:15

OP, I totally get it. Been three years here and every time my young DC cry for their dad and ask why he can't live with us I want to cause her some serious harm.
I know that's irrational. I know it's him that should get my hateful thoughts (and he does still from time to time). And I've not sought any type of revenge despite dreaming about it nightly for months after the revelation. She was a family friend too.

I care about them both a hell of a lot less now the divorce is nearly finalised and I can see my future quite happily without him.

When I posted about it on here (different user names) I was jumped on for calling her a cunt.

But she is a cunt. And the one in your life sounds a right cunt too. You're friends need to be told quite firmly that you are not interested in updates. Wine

Original poster
housewifedesperate · 20/02/2017 23:18

Yep I know winnie.....easier said than done unfortunately, just ask fifthattempt (after 14 years)
I said I know I'm only hurting myself with my bitterness. I would kind of just like to know what makes this type of person behave like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
housewifedesperate · 20/02/2017 23:21

I feel the same user1471.........

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 20/02/2017 23:22

You will probably never know. You'll learn to accept this and you will move on. I promise

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