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Original poster

no contact, is he uninterested?

74 replies

beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:31

Very new relationship, 2 months or so. He's currently on half term holiday with his sister, bro inlaw and their three dcs.

We had a lovely date the night before he left and he's now been away almost a week. We've made plans to go on another date next week, after he gets back.

Meanwhile, I haven't heard a dicky bird from him. No phonecall, text, email, nothing.

AIBU to wonder if he's still into me?

OP posts:
womanwithoutasong · 16/02/2017 15:34

How did you meet? Do you know that he's not married? It seems odd that he hasn't kept in touch. Have you sent him a text? Is he active on social media?

It could just be that there's little or no signal where he is or it could be that he's not one for communicating much. Text him and see.

Tenshidarkangel · 16/02/2017 15:35

Could just be in an area with signal problems? I would just drop him a text when he gets back asking if you're still on for the date.

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:38

He's definitely not married! We met through mutual friends. He doesn't really do social media although we do follow each other on fb and twitter, instagram etc accounts, he seems to have only posted about 1 thing in the past 6 months!

There's definitely wifi where he is and a mutual friend told me he texted yesterday to say that the kids were driving him nuts. Maybe they're putting him off the idea of relationship and children!

OP posts:
Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:40

I haven't texted him because I wanted to see if he did.

OP posts:
Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:41

don't want to feel like I'm chasing him

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 16/02/2017 15:41

Maybe he's waiting to see if you text him though.

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:44

well, I texted him when he was at the airport to say "have a great holiday" to which he replied "thanks, can't wait to see you again!" so I don't want to text him first again.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/02/2017 15:44

How often do you usually text/talk?

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:48

usually text every few days, mainly to arrange a date although sometimes we have snapchat conversations. When we're together, we have the best time and I don't think that's just me thinking that. Then we get back to our own lives and meet at the weekend. It's early days though so I'm maybe reading too much into it.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/02/2017 15:49

so I don't want to text him first again.

Did you reply though? It doesn't sound like you did, which is probably why he hasnt' messaged you...

I'd just text him, honestly. Life is too short and it sounds like you hqave fun together.

Dreadfulidea · 16/02/2017 15:52

Less than 3 months and you're fretting about him being on a weeks family holiday?! I totally get that you miss him but I can't see that it's that bigger deal.
He can still like you but not feel deprived of you when he's away. If he's still like it in six months I'd worry more.

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 15:52

I texted back a smiley face so reply of sorts.
Thing is AnchorDownDeepBreath I think I'm being a bit silly and overthinking things because I don't actually really want to text him! I'm quite liking the feeling of anticipation and "absence making the heart grow fonder".
I'm just wondering if it's a red flag that he hasn't been in touch whilst he's away that's all. As I say, maybe I'm overthinking...

OP posts:
HotNatured · 16/02/2017 17:04

I would say yes, it's a red flag. Unless he's somewhere like Cuba, where communicating with the outside world really is a nightmare sometimes, if you're into someone, you want to make contact with them.

As is always said, it takes one second to send a quick "how are you doing?" text. And unless he's on some sort of action adventure holiday, he's probably got more time on his hands relaxing by the pool than he has at home when work, etc is a distraction.

PollytheDolly · 16/02/2017 17:07

Just text him. I would.

TheNaze73 · 16/02/2017 17:20

He's away with his family, so you're not going to be top of his priorities. Text him if you want to but, don't expect him to, why would he? What's the point? Unless it's to set your next date up, I'd find all the texting tiresome. Just chill until he gets back.

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 17:39

I like your thinking TheNaze73. I suppose we have already made firm plans plus we're not chatty phone types.

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 16/02/2017 17:40

Are you totally sure he's not married and they are his kids?

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 17:43

Absolutely 100% KinkyAfro! Grin

OP posts:
Shayelle · 16/02/2017 17:45

I wouldnt text.

HotNatured · 16/02/2017 17:46

Nor I, Shayelle. I like to keep my dignity intact

sonjadog · 16/02/2017 17:47

I don´t know. He might just be focusing on his family while he is away, or he might be waiting for you to text, or he might also like the feeling of anticipation, or he might not be interested. I don´t think anyone here can say which it is. So either text him, and see what he replies, or wait and see.

Original poster
beebeecee · 16/02/2017 17:57

What's undignified about texting HotNatured? Not being defensive, genuinely asking. I'm not not texting because I think it's undignified!

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 16/02/2017 18:02

If it's a "red flag" that he isn't texting then surely it's a flag of equal redness that you aren't?!

Hellothereitsme · 16/02/2017 18:09

If he can't get wifi then he might not have European cover???? However I must admit most bars have wifi and it only takes seconds to text. Perhaps he is playing the same game as you .......

AnyFucker · 16/02/2017 18:19

I don't think this is a red flag

You saw him before he went. You have plans when he gets back. He is away a matter of days, not months

I am perplexed at the way people don't seem to have their own inner life any more. It's like if you don't have a constant presence on social media/messaging apps that you don't exist

Let it be, op. Live your life. If he is into you, you will know.