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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I've been dumped abroad.

71 replies

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 17:53

Came to see partner. LDR
Things were rocky. Wanted to try and fix things with a visit. Been dumped whilst here.

Am in a B&B. They have ghosted me. I went round to the house and they wouldn't even answer the door.

Have come back to B&B with a bit of shopping. I fly home midweek.

I'm so sad.

Please don't tell me to get out there an have fun. I have really bad anxiety and am devestated right now. Plus it's not a holiday destination and the weather is awful (people being told to stay inside etc)

I just want to go home :(

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 22/01/2017 17:55

Obvious question, but can you switch to an earlier flight?

Watto1 · 22/01/2017 17:57

Can you phone your airline and see if you can change to an earlier flight? You poor thing. I'd just want to get home too.

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 17:57

Not really because the flight I have booked is the only direct one. It's a small obscure place and if I swap I'm going to be doing 3 or 4 flights over 2r hours rather than a 6 hours flight home. Plus all the prices now at last minutes are 4/5 times more expensive and I don't have the money.

OP posts:

Chloe84 · 22/01/2017 17:58

Sorry, OP

You know you're well rid of a pillock that would ignore you while you're in a foreign country you came to to see him.

Could you use the B&B money to get a flight home tomorrow?

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 17:58

24hrs*

OP posts:

Chloe84 · 22/01/2017 17:59

Cross post.

Do you have some spending money? I would lose myself in books in this situation.

MrsBertBibby · 22/01/2017 18:00

What a horrible person. You poor thing.

Will the B&B let you stay in during the day?

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 18:00

B&B is paid for and non refundable.

I literally sobbed my way around a shop and got some basics and I'm just staying in my room till its time to go. Owner of the B&B is going to think I'm a right weirdo but I don't care.

I have food. Some pepsi and netflix.

OP posts:

Redissuereader · 22/01/2017 18:01

Where are you abroad?

WildImaginings · 22/01/2017 18:02

I'm sorry OP

I can identify with the anxiety, so I know it's not as simple as getting out there and 'having fun'

So if changing your flights home isn't feasible... any book shops close by? Or do you have a kindle/iPad so you can download some books/films.

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 18:02

Yes. I've been staying in here. This happened a few days ago and I got up the courage to get a taxi today to the house today, exdp was in but just ignored me. So I went shops and got a few bits to last me till I go home.

I'm in shock tbh. I could never do that to someone. Esp not someone I supposedly loved at one point

OP posts:

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 18:04

I have a kindle and TV. I've just been sat here for 48 hours. I feel so stupid. I wish I could just go do some stuff but it's very rural and taxis are expensive. Plus my anxiety kicks in and I just feel like everyone's looking at me.

OP posts:

LaContessaDiPlump · 22/01/2017 18:06

Sorry op, what a shit way for them to treat you. You realise that this tells you what they are really like, right? In some ways you may have had a lucky escape.

It is shit though and I'm sorry

BeachysSnowyWellieBoots · 22/01/2017 18:07

There might be a MNetter where you are?

TimTamTerrier · 22/01/2017 18:07

You poor thing, what an arse. I guess all you can do under the circumstances is wait it out. Are there at least some nice cafes and restaurants around? There's a lot to be said for sitting in a comfy cafe, watching the world go by and reading a delightfully trashy Kindle book.

Over a decade ago I was a trailing spouse in Germany. It was a large team of foreigners working on a specific project and we often socialised together. One of them met a new woman in Germany and needed to tell his fiancee. He decided to do it when she flew out to see him at New Year, we all told him to tell her over the phone so that she didn't waste a trip but he was adamant that it had to be done face to face. I felt so sorry for her, we took her into the group and she had people to hang out with, but it must still have been awful for her.

Jb291 · 22/01/2017 18:12

I'm sorry OP. What a nasty thing to have done to you. When is your flight due to leave? if there aren't any other flights that are suitable until then I would stay put in the B&B. What the B&B owner might think is irrelevant and it's none of their business. If you have food and drink and Netflix you can tuck yourself away from the world for a couple of days. I realise the urge to go home is very strong and is worse if you are anxious. The best thing you can do is delete and block your ex partners number / Facebook and concentrate on getting through the next couple of days. There is always someone on these boards to hold your hand if you need someone to talk to and keep you calm if you are feeling upset or anxious. Do you have enough food and supplies to get you through until your flight??

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 18:19

I've got
a bag of pretzels
2 bananas
4 blueberry muffins
A baguette
Sliced cheese
6 bottles of water
2lt diet pepsi

And I can go down and get breakfast in the mornings though I haven't done that yet as I wasn't feeling upto it, the owners very chatty and I've just wanted to hide away so I don't know if he thinks I'm rude. He must wonder why I'm just holed up in my room.

I'm mentally exhausted.

OP posts:

Allalonenow · 22/01/2017 18:27

Oh you poor soul, what a rotten thing to do to you.
Tell the owner what has happened to you, they might know of a nearby cafe or even ask you to join them for a meal, better than sitting on your own.
You'll be home very soon.

Jb291 · 22/01/2017 18:29

Totally understand the exhaustion and the anxiety. It doesn't matter what the B&B owner thinks. Your priority is getting through the next couple of days then you will be leaving and you will more than likely never come back to this place. If you feel up to it then tomorrow morning you could venture down to breakfast. I know you might not want to eat necessarily but you have to look after yourself and maybe just eat a little and ensure you are staying hydrated. When are you due to leave for the airport and do you have your transport there sorted? Sounds like you have enough supplies to get you through until midweek if you can have breakfast catered for you every day.

MrsPringles · 22/01/2017 18:36

Op, I'm so sorry
Nobody deserves that, you're well rid of them

HoneyBeeMum1 · 22/01/2017 18:48

What a horrible thing to happen. Why didn't he tell you before you arrived? He has behaved extremely badly.

I agree with the others who have suggested you arm yourself with some escapism in the from of easy reading and sit it out.

Do you have support when you get home? Are they aware of what has happened?

You seem so bewildered, I really feel for you. Do try and get to breakfast. You have already paid for it and you need some proper food to keep you going.

You can confide in the owner of the guest house as someone else has suggested. I am sure they hear all sorts of stories and it might help you to bear the next few days to have a sympathetic hear.

If you do not want to confide in the owner you need not. Just tell them you are unwell and would appreciate some privacy. I am sure such a request will be respected.

Good luck.

picklemepopcorn · 22/01/2017 18:51

Would it help you raise a little smile if I said your list reminds me of the very hungry caterpillar?

I hope you can get some good sleep, and maybe enjoy a little look around at some point before you leave, weather permitting. You were very brave to go over there, and it's such a shame it has gone like this.

MrsBertBibby · 22/01/2017 19:02

If you're holing up, can I suggest you try to do sets of exercises, just to keep you moving? Sit ups, press ups, leg raises, planks, and nice stretches? Or pilates or yoga, if that's your thing? Might help a little.

Original poster

DumpedAbroad · 22/01/2017 19:11

I love the hungry caterpillar
That made me smile.

Thanks guys. My flight is Wednesday night.

If I'm feeling better I might go to the shopping centre one day. They have a cinema and stuff. it's just everything is different and bewildering. Even at home I don't go out alone much.

It took a lot for me to come here so it makes it even worse.

OP posts:

CauliflowerSqueeze · 22/01/2017 19:16

Do you know what? If you can get through these next 3 days you can get through anything.

Go and have breakfast in the morning, really gorge yourself and then ask the owners where would be nice to go. Treat yourself to a nice massage and buy a couple of books.

Time will go fast and you can be really proud that you made it.

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