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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

STBXH gone mad re first solicitors letter. Second thread

69 replies

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 19:27

I'm shaking and my heart is racing. Fucking Bastard. It's been 6 months post convo. I'm sleeping in the other room. I finally got a letter sent after him putting me off all that time. I warned him. But he's just gone mad saying its aggressive and I'm bullying him and he's vulnerable

He has mh issues and he says that he has protection under the mental health act. I can't do this to him. Blah blah

He has said Alsorts including he will chain himself to the bed if I push him.

Now he wants me to send him an email saying I'm aware of his "illness" in addition to my solicitor knowing so I dunno, he can get his solicitor that he hasn't engaged yet to annilhate my solicitor. He has badgered me for other emails, which I've sent him but it's just getting ridiculous. He's phoned me twice, spoken to DD to say he's not coming home until mum has sent the email blah blah. Unfortunately he has come home and is being super dad right now. He hasn't spoken to me yet but I'm waiting for it. I'm fuming he's brought my DD into it

I got my thread deleted yesterday as I'd put too much detail into it.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 28/11/2016 19:29

Let him do what he wants and you carry on breaking free. He doesn't own you. He's not the boss of you. Ignore the tantrums.

Shurelyshomemistake · 28/11/2016 19:32

What a petulant (and ill-informed) child! Be the adult for your daughter. Stay strong.

Protection under the Mental health Act my arse.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/11/2016 19:35

So are you still sharing a house? I really think he one of you should leave. Disengage. Try and get things in writing. How old is DD?

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 20:03

DD is 12 FFS. I've been looking at rentals. It's becoming unbearable. I don't think he will leave because he's "too ill" poor lamb.

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 28/11/2016 20:07

'Oh dear, daddy's being a bit silly isn't he?' And if he calls, put it on loudspeaker. If he starts it with dd again, interrupt and tell him if he has nothing else to talk about, dd will say goodbye. Don't let him do that to her (not that I think you need me to tell you).
And DO NOT send any such email.

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 20:20

He's just come in and asked again. Wanker. He said I should be true to my word. He caught me out at work and I was blustering on the phone. I don't even remember what I said FFS That's what he means by me agreeing to send an email. Wanker.

I told him I'm feeling really ill just like him I'll get back to him. Wanker.

My solicitor wasn't in today so I shall pass all info on to her and get her advice. He wants the email because he wants to know if he should get a lawyer. Err yeah?

Earlier via email he said perhaps we should tell 'your kids' i.e. Taking himself out of the parentage about my soliciters letter. He also threatened me with some big gun lawyer that is a brother to his best friend. They're very wealthy and well connected. Fuck right off.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 28/11/2016 21:34

I haven't read the Mental Health Act cover to cover, but am prepared to be very surprised indeed if it says anything about not being allowed to divorce someone with MH issues Hmm

RandomMess · 28/11/2016 21:39

What is your housing situation - owned as tenants in common, or rented or???

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:11

Oh fuck it's really all gone wrong. He's gone fucking mad. Shit. He tried to grab my phone off me. Kids came in and saw him on top of me. He's been in and on at me fucker. Had to tell kids. They're fucking devasted fucking c@@. I fucking hate him. Shit shit shit. I never believed he would grab me.

OP posts:
TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:13

He's blaming it all on me. I've made him ill it's my fault. He's said all this shit in front of the kids. I recorded some of it. That's why he went even more mad. He has been fucking relentless and refused to leave the room and the kids are there crying.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/11/2016 22:14

Are you somewhere safe now?

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:14

I've sent the recording to a friend. I hope to god he got it as I showed stbxh me deleting the vid.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/11/2016 22:15

If he is not letting the kids out, p,ease call the police - for their safety.

He has assaulted you - he is not safe around you or them.

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:15

He's now n my room. Both kids are in there. He's saying good night and being jolly dad fucker. I'm in kitchen. I feel fucking sick. This sort of thing shouldn't happen to me.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 28/11/2016 22:16

Police- he's assaults you

PacificDogwod · 28/11/2016 22:16

Ok.
Are you safe just now?
If so, take some deep breaths, have a glass of water/cup of tea.

Phone the police if you are not safe - tell them you feel threatened and there are children in the house.
If nothing else, your call will be logged.
They will come and make sure you are safe.

Thanks
TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:16

I can hear them. I'm in kitchen. I'm ok but won't sleep much tonight

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 28/11/2016 22:16

Are you safe?

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:17

The fucker also mentioned to them that he wants to kill himself. My DD is really upset fucking can't

OP posts:
Thattimeofyearagain · 28/11/2016 22:17

Police?

ohfourfoxache · 28/11/2016 22:17

Actually doesn't sound like you are

Can you get a friend to come over urgently

TBHhadEnough · 28/11/2016 22:17

Jesus. He's talking about xboxed

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/11/2016 22:18

It doesn't sound as if you are safe. Please call the police.

LineyReborn · 28/11/2016 22:19

You know what? Fuck this. Call the police.

ohfourfoxache · 28/11/2016 22:19

Police, please op. You are not safe