STBXH gone mad re first solicitors letter. Second thread

[TBHhadEnough]

I'm shaking and my heart is racing. Fucking Bastard. It's been 6 months post convo. I'm sleeping in the other room. I finally got a letter sent after him putting me off all that time. I warned him. But he's just gone mad saying its aggressive and I'm bullying him and he's vulnerable

He has mh issues and he says that he has protection under the mental health act. I can't do this to him. Blah blah

He has said Alsorts including he will chain himself to the bed if I push him.

Now he wants me to send him an email saying I'm aware of his "illness" in addition to my solicitor knowing so I dunno, he can get his solicitor that he hasn't engaged yet to annilhate my solicitor. He has badgered me for other emails, which I've sent him but it's just getting ridiculous. He's phoned me twice, spoken to DD to say he's not coming home until mum has sent the email blah blah. Unfortunately he has come home and is being super dad right now. He hasn't spoken to me yet but I'm waiting for it. I'm fuming he's brought my DD into it

I got my thread deleted yesterday as I'd put too much detail into it.

Ask him to leave calmly

If he wont Call the police ask them to come and talk to him and take him elsewhere
If his mh is unstable he needs to be elsewhere

If his behaviour is such that you feel threatened or he is talking about harming the DC phone the police now and get him out of your home.

Please call the police. They can remove him for tonight at least. You need time alone to reassure your kids.
Threatening suicide is abusive to them. They are to young to deal with that. He isn't safe to be around them.

Get yourself and dc safe.

Do not leave the house, have the police remove him ideally, like now. Then you can get an order to stop him coming back until it's all sorted. Everyone told me to put the boot in and nail my ex when he was behaving like yours and I just couldn't do it. Well I fucking wish I had now, 3.5 years later it's still going on. I've had SS round, dragged through the courts twice over absolutely nothing, nearly lost my home. You need for one night to stop this in its tracks and you'll be so glad you did. 999 now and get him out !!!

Am ok trying to get kids to sleep. Fuckwits upstairs

Seen it on loads of threads. Yes I should call police.

Please do it whilst he is upstairs and can't hear you.

Your children must be scared with their father saying that please call the police OP to ask them to remove him

You need to op- do it now, you're not safe

Are the kids in bed?

A restraining order would give you some peace and in light of his recent actions will be granted I'm sure, you can get an emergency one put in place until it goes through xxx

All ok op?

Im at my dbs. Spoke to sol yesterday. She said I could get an injunction but it wouldn't be quick. I'll prob stay here one more night. Don't want to spend another second with fuckwit.
He's playing with the kids minds. I got DD to call him as she wanted to speak. He told her he didn't know what he'd done wrong.
Just got an email from him. He's unrepentant. Said that I'm fully aware of how recoding him would trigger him as that what his DM used to do.
I'm torn. I'm also scared of him. I feel like I'm being ridiculous. I don't want to do anything that goads him. I don't know what to do.

Did you call the police? If not ring them on 101 and report him now. He used physical force and intimidation towards you and your children. You need to report him.

No. Haven't called police yet. The sol didn't say that I could or should. None of my family have mentioned that I should but all that doesnt feel right. I've looked on women's aid website. I'm going to my mums later. I will call them.

My. DD asked me if I was scared of him. I said yes I am now.

He sounds abusive, time to call women's aid for some advice? And yes. Report to the police!

Haven't called police yet.The sol didn't say that I could or should

Did you tell the solicitor about the events of the other night? If so, what was their advice?

Yes told her he had me pinned down and didn't let up even when the kids were in the room and shouting stop. When she just mentioned an injunction and it wouldn't be quick because it's near xmas I thought I was being ridiculous

Going to call women's aid later when I'm at my mums

As a family solicitor, I'd say your solicitor sounds a bit shit.

Please go to the police now. That was a really serious assault. I've been worried about you. And I've got 20 years DV experience.

CALL THE POLICE!

Sorry for the shouty capitals, but you don't need permission from the SHL. This needs to be logged with the police, who may issue a non molestation order quite quickly.

You are scared, he has frightened your DC....all because you had a letter sent.

The police can't issue a non molestation order, but you can ask them to issue a domestic violence prevention notice, to buy you some time.

www.app.college.police.uk/app-content/major-investigation-and-public-protection/domestic-abuse/arrest-and-other-positive-approaches/domestic-violence-protection-notices-and-domestic-violence-protection-orders/

Oh fuck. Oh it's not the letter that was the trigger, it was me recording the convo. And I know I still did not deserve that. I don't want my kids to think that it was acceptable. Which is what it feels like I'm doing now. But If I get him arrested he will go into tail spin. So I'm trying to do a balancing act.