Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

my boyfriend ignore me.. do i have a chance?

53 replies

cheonsa · 26/10/2016 09:45

we've been dating for 6 months.. and its been a month he changed so much.. doesn't want to spend time with me anymore everytime i ask him to meet (always with his friends or prefer to be alone).. didn't text me like he used to only read and will reply if i asked him and not engage to conversation.. and the worst last monday he got lots of trouble with work because his friend come to his office n made scene.. i was trying to cheer him up but he didn't read my messages until now, but i saw he online on whatsapp.. am being clingy n needy to ask him to reply my messages? i love him so much n his behavior make me insecure.. i used to be independent

OP posts:
pallasathena · 26/10/2016 09:55

Find some self respect and don't contact him. Think about why you are so needy and why you are prepared to put up with being treated so very badly.
I feel so sad that you have poured all your feelings into someone who doesn't respect you or even have the courtesy to reply to your messages but if you continue with this behaviour, you'll end up in a horribly depressed state.
Please, be kind to yourself and be strong enough and determined enough to break away from him.

DocMcFanjo · 26/10/2016 09:58

Bin him. He's not into you. Trying to convince him will just make him less into you. Walk away.

TheNaze73 · 26/10/2016 09:58

You are being extremely clingy & needy. You shouldn't put up with this shit though after only 6 months

squishee · 26/10/2016 10:02

Why do you want a "chance" with someone who treats you this badly?
Why do you think you are only good enough for crumbs from his table?

You deserve better. Don't give him a chance - have no contact with him and move on with your life. It will be hard, but worth it in the end.

PastoralCare · 26/10/2016 10:03

He's moved on.

Only1scoop · 26/10/2016 10:04

Don't wait around for any scraps of thought and attention....
Bin him before he beats you to it

WaxingNinja · 26/10/2016 10:05

I think he's already dumped you but has been too cowardly to tell you outright, sorry.

velourvoyageur · 26/10/2016 10:30

Oh dear OP, I am sorry.

I'd message him to say you want to break up (literally I'd say that in very bare terms), give him a day then block him on whatsapp.

You deserve much much better treatment!

HardcoreLadyType · 26/10/2016 10:53

What squishee said.

You deserve better than this.

As Maya Angelou said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

Original poster
cheonsa · 26/10/2016 10:55

I became needy and clingy maybe because he spoiled me too much so when he changed his affection toward me (when stress) I push the panick button. He used to text me nonstop all day and ask me to meet often. I still don't believe someone that sweet and caring like him can treat me like this.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 26/10/2016 11:00

Believe it. Just stop contacting him and see what he does. If no further contact, you've been dumped - very sorry if that is the case, but this current situation is worse.

Applecarts · 26/10/2016 11:01

Well, he is treating you like this (and he doesn't sound sweet and caring, he sounds juvenile and a poor communicator), so you'd better try to start believing it, in the nicest possible way, OP. Better that you realise it now rather than later. And do, as others have said, before youget into another relationship, spent some time being single, work on your self-esteem, and ask yourself some tough questions about why you are being so clingy to a man who obviously wants nothing more to do with you but is too cowardly to say so.

FetchezLaVache · 26/10/2016 11:05

How can you think that someone who doesn't want to spend time with you and doesn't reply to your messages is "sweet and caring"? He's just not into you (any more). You've been love-bombed and then ghosted. Step away while your dignity is still intact.

JoJoSM2 · 26/10/2016 11:17

He sounds immature and no longer interested. Only because of his immaturity he hasn't broken up with you properly and he's been ignoring you instead. Sorry Flowers

Snowflakes1122 · 26/10/2016 11:32

I don't think he has changed Sadly you're just seeing his true colours now.

Why would you want a "chance" with someone who is giving your the cold shoulder?

Happybunny19 · 26/10/2016 11:34

He's used you for a while and you've unfortunately read something in the relationship that's simply not there. Keep your dignity and stop all contact now. If he contacts you question his motives, it's likely he knows you're a push over and will come back now and again for an easy lay.

I'm assuming from your post you're young and naive, learn from this shitty situation what is unhealthy and work on your self esteem. You will continue to attract awful men when you act like a doormat.

This is not love btw, just infatuation and he's clearly a knob head.

Olddear · 26/10/2016 12:55

He's already dumped you. Sorry to be so blunt, but he really doesn't want to know. Move on from him.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 26/10/2016 13:07

Now you know he's a cockwomble, dump his sorry arse and move on to someone better. He is not good for you.

PoldarksBreeches · 26/10/2016 13:12

Lots of men do that thing where they come on strong and then go cold. The beginning and declaration of love isn't real. He's gone off you and will be looking for the next big love.

Original poster
cheonsa · 26/10/2016 13:46

Yeah at first he was so sweet and always told me that he missed me all the time. I met him on tinder and a week ago I tried to check if he still active there and saw him unmatch me.. surprise surprise.. I feel so low, lost appetite for two weeks and barely can't sleep, but reading the respon here help me to face the most bitter situation :')
I might won't contact him for now, but can't stop looking at his whatsapp

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 26/10/2016 13:50

Why 'can't you believe it'?
It's happening and it's happening now!
Get over it and get on with your life.
Ignore him.
If he's interested at all he'll come crawling back.
Get some dignity and pride and move on.

category12 · 26/10/2016 13:59

Block him on what's app, or delete what's app, since you are using it to torture yourself.

Original poster
cheonsa · 26/10/2016 15:18

I can't just delete my whatsapp :) lots of important contacts there..
and I have feeling that he already have someone else, because he didn't stop online on whatsapp.. he usually won't online so often even if his friends talk to him.. just woman instinct.. omg feel so pathetic..
I'm not young 26yo but lacks of love experience.. I have this feeling again after 3years moving on from my first love.. I even don't have this feeling on my previous relationship..

OP posts:
BarelyKeepingItTogether · 26/10/2016 15:18

He used to text me nonstop all day and ask me to meet often. I still don't believe someone that sweet and caring like him can treat me like this.

But that's how short-term relationships are. It's all lots of flirty texts and meet-ups for a few months and then it's over. And it feels weird to go from that to ... nothing. But that's how it is.

He's already dumped you. He's just weaseled out of actually telling you that. Because he's a twat.

Either just block and ignore. Or, if you prefer, send him a text saying something like "I assume things between us are over. Good luck with everything. Don't contact me again."

It was only six months. Move on.

category12 · 26/10/2016 15:45

Well block the fecker then. www.whatsapp.com/faq/en/general/21242423

Stop giving it headspace. He wasn't a keeper, his interest burnt out, it happens. He's probably all about the New Relationship Energy and once the initial buzz is over, onto the next one. Have a bit of a self-indulgent couple of days (although I think you have already) - and then strap on a smile and get on.

But stop tracking him on social media right now. Block and go do something fun.