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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why did he think it was acceptable to say such a vulgar thing to me

65 replies

starboyz · 22/10/2016 14:16

A guy I am dating, he is 36.
I have not had hot water for over a week, my boiler broke ect
I have said to him I not meeting him until my boiler is fixed which will be next thrusday.
He then made a "joke" saying "Your cats must love you because you must smell of fish"
Who the hell says something like that, I cringed and said I dont smell of fish and that isnt funny to which he said it was a "joke"

I'm absolutely disgusted, I am not overreacting am I?

OP posts:
Tarttlet · 22/10/2016 15:17

Horrible. He sounds like the sort of man who'd think you were "dirty" while on your period... And also like the sort of man who wouldn't want to go down on you (but would obviously request that you go down on him, because that's "different").

SmellySphinx · 22/10/2016 15:17

*NotTheFordType

This makes me think he's never smelled a real vagina. Surely it's only 13 year old virgins that make that sort of "joke"?*

This^ X 100

He sounds like a total fuckhead. Get rid.

Mouthfulofquiz · 22/10/2016 15:18

Get rid.

MsJudgemental · 22/10/2016 15:19

Absolutely get rid.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/10/2016 15:25

Ewwwwww, run, like the wind!

cosytoaster · 22/10/2016 15:27

No brainer - dump him!

samecardoverandover · 22/10/2016 15:31

DTB! and silver cloud to every lining and all that, if you boiler hadn't broken you may never have found out how crass he was until much later on!

Mantis1975 · 22/10/2016 15:34

He sounds delightful.
Now, he may genuinely been trying make you laugh and seriously misjudged things but yeah, not good.
Maybe explore his humour a bit more before chucking him though. If it continues to be sub-Family Guy levels then perhaps tell him his dick smells too much of cheese and be done with him.

Emmageddon · 22/10/2016 15:35

Surely it's only 13 year old virgins that make that sort of "joke"?
Yes, and some misogynistic gay men come out with similar stuff.

Joining in the chorus of dump him. He's a twat. At least you found out early on.

cheekyfunkymonkey · 22/10/2016 15:38

Your boiler may have saved you a lot of time and tears...if he's not at home kicking himself for being an idiot then I agree, kick him to the curb!

Jackie0 · 22/10/2016 15:43

Thank god he said this early on, he's saved you lots of hassle

woowoowoo · 22/10/2016 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JellyBelli · 22/10/2016 15:46

A normal person would have offered you a shower.

leaveittothediva · 22/10/2016 15:48

Well, what did you say back.?. Your only dating him Ffs, if this is him showing his good side, your screwed. Why would you even want to see him again, start making alternative plans for Thursday. He's a dimwitted douchebag.

Flumplet · 22/10/2016 15:50

What a wanker. Get rid OP you can do better than him.

BowieFan · 22/10/2016 15:51

Maybe it's just his sense of humour. Not defending him but it's not the worst joke in the world really. I'd laugh but I have a weird sense of humour. He probably misjudged it though.

PeppaIsMyHero · 22/10/2016 16:03

He sounds so childish. You don't need that.

starboyz · 22/10/2016 16:28

Just because I cannot wash properly, I usually exfoliate ect and scrub my hair. I have been using the gym showers but they aren't particularly clean its more a OCD thing I don't feel right not showering in my own house so just did not want to meet him till after then.
He has done other creepy things and keeps inviting himself on my holidays which is annoying.

I am just going to cut him off really cringed me out that comment.

OP posts:
DoomGloomAndKaboom · 22/10/2016 16:40

36? He is mentally 20 years younger than that.

Has anyone suggested dumping him? Grin

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 22/10/2016 16:49

Run for the hills!

woowoowoo · 22/10/2016 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anyoldname76 · 22/10/2016 16:53

urgh I'd dump him, i would be self conscious forever if my dh said that to me

Emmageddon · 22/10/2016 16:55

How long have you been dating? He sounds very immature and totally creepy. Does he still live with his mum?

AleHouseWench · 22/10/2016 16:59

Is he 14?

AyeAmarok · 22/10/2016 17:02

Yeah, I'd cut him loose.

It's such a vile and immature "joke", I couldn't really have any respect for him after that.