Time travel thread - what would you tell your younger self.

[FeckTheMagicDragon]

At Nocapes and PreemptiveSalvageEngineer suggestion :)

I still miss my single independant years a little bit ... I had a fair bit of fun, achieved a lot independently and am so proud of my younger self. Although I do wish I could go back to my 16 year old self and give her a slap around the back of the heads and shout 'He's not got hidden depths, hes got hidden shallows! Throw him back!'

I'd also tell her that she's never going to be dainty and pretty, but that she was tall, funny and striking - and that years later that shorter boy that she fancied would be telling her at a school reunion that he actually had a mahoosive crush on her. But was to shy to talk to her. So walk tall and wear those stilettos!

What would you tell your younger self?

I'd go back to Christmas 1993, when then-DP (STBDH) definitively proved I didn't have an In-law problem, I have a DP problem. Won't get into the details (that'd out me), but I'd say to her "get out. Get out now".

If I wanted to elaborate, I'd say "proving that the racists are wrong isn't worth the misery and waste of your child-bearing years. Anyway, whilst they might be wrong in general, theyre correct about this particular apple who, despite his protestations, did not fall far from the tree. Hell, he's still clinging to the branch."

It gets better in fact it gets pretty damn great, hold on.

Don't regret anything that made you smile & let go of your body hang ups as actually you have a cracker.

Great idea for a thread MagicDragon

I'd tell her -

Listen to your instinct re a certain "friend"
Don't take that job!
Yes ,your mother on this rare occasion, is right
Stay away from that lanky streak of piss
You need put up with less shit
It will definitely get better
You will be ok.
You have so much to look forward to!

To finish university.

That the awkward teenage years are just a tiny drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of things and that like a very fine wine you get more beautiful as you age

At 18 it would be Fgs it is a police matter.
At 24 it would be Yes you should cancel the wedding. He won't change.

To me at 16, look at your life! You have a great group of friends, some boys your own age like you, your a bloody size 6 and not as plain as you think you are! An older man who is so into you is going to be fun and exhilarating and so flattering (as I know how little you think of yourself) for a while but will ultimately hold you back. Have a fun fling with him and move on.

Preemptive i thought you. Must have a relationship backstory

That my spider senses were absolutely spot on all along and always have been. Trust them!

Don't diminish yourself to 'keep the peace' or 'make everyone else happy' you deserve to be happy too.

Don't drink all that vodka... It will hurt tomorrow and the next day

premptive STBDH? Dead? Ditched? dismembered?

15 year old self - don't take him back. He's a cheating arsehole and he's only creeping back round because the bit he had his eye on knocked him back.

18 year old self - FFS, what did I tell you at 15? Look, DEFINITELY don't take him back this time.

22 year old self - just stand there, arms folded, shaking my head. Then bang it against a brick wall.

28 year old self - FINALLY!!! Now go and live your sodding life because there's one out there to be had.

Not that I regret having Dd for a second. She's the best thing to come from our relationship . Everything happens for a reason hey?

Wankers are always wankers they don't change

These are great :)

I'd also tell myself not to apologise or feel embarrassed about being a young mum, as later on in life they'll be grown and I'll still be young and fit(ish) enough to do all sorts.

Funko, sadly DH = Dear Husband. We were living together and engaged at the time.

You know how you're not supposed to regret anything that went before, because it still brought you to where you are now, and that's ok? Well, I look back on the track I was on before he showed up, and I don't agree. I'd been on the verge of x career and was about to embark on the hobby I only revisited years later (through which I'd met my present DP). He'd sidetracked me from the life I now love, and I can't help but wonder how much better it would be if we'd never got together.

Actually, if I could time travel, I'd drag my younger self to 2016, sit her on from of Mumsnet for about a month, and only then let her back to 1994.

After university;

Hold on to your house and independence. You have done so well.

Always trust your gut, not your head.

You think life is hard now, well you ain't seen nothing yet!

You don't look as bad as you think.

(Wish there had been MN!

You are not fat! Don't go on that crash diet, you don't need to and you're going to be altering your metabolism permanently!

Relationships do not prove that you are worthy as a person.

No man is better than some man

You actually have Asperger Syndrome, that's why you find things so difficult and feel awkward in communication.

Sex is not love.

Preemptive - ditto. Except for my DC. But I could have left before I did. But I believed what 'they' all told me. Weirdly after my mother died I stopped trying to conform and do what was expected. And once I started doing that, everything fell into place.

So I suppose I should tell my younger self to be brave and believe in herself.

Have faith in yourself more - you really are worthy.

You're not as fat as you think.

Life will turn out wonderfully but don't ruin things by drinking too much!

Yay

I wish I could go back to my 18 year old self, the very first time he told me I wasn't good enough and should feel lucky to have him and shake myself and say - "Yes you are!! You are young, thin, blonde and gorgeous! You are too good for him, you've got men falling over themselves trying to get a chance with you - do not pick this one! Do not give him the best (and best looking) years of your life, he does not deserve them!"

The fact you have never met his parents and he's keeping you a secret is a very ominous sign. Very.

Not liking his parents is not just an irritation but also a very bad sign. They raised him. Dump him!

Preemptive I knew you had a story

Buy a property first.

Travel more.

I would tell myself that my body was the greatest gift I would ever be given, respect it, be happy with it (I thought it was fat and unattractive but compared to now it was gorgeous!) and don't give it to anyone who hasn't proved they deserve it. I can see now that my dad leaving (without a backward glance) left me craving approval and validation from men and I wasted my love and attention on some real scumbags as a result.

I'd say that the thing you want, that dream, that which you hide from all, that ypou should take steps to attain it. By 37 you'll still be hiding it, you'll still be dreaming, you'll still be hiding it and by then it'll be too late.

Things don't really get better, but you will feel better about yourself.

Don't get involved with any of the men you meet; they're all a waste of space and will hurt and disappoint you. And that goes double for the one you lost your virginity to and triple for the one you met in 2012.

Start therapy about a decade sooner. Ditto antidepressants.