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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

outted!!

39 replies

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:19

So I left mumsnet a good few years ago because too many RL people used it and I kept getting outted when I posted personal stuff.
I come back on and my first post in forever is about my husband and our relationship and he has some how found out about it and posted it to his online community.
My husband doesn't go on mumsnet and no one elses knows about our current situation, how the fuck would he have found it?

OP posts:
princessmi12 · 31/08/2016 16:23

Not sure how he would find out,maybe searched your phone/computer?
But whole set up seems toxic.You post here,he reposts somewhere else. What's the point of it?

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:29

Without people posting their issues on mumsnet the play would be pretty barren.

OP posts:
Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:30

*place

OP posts:
Whocansay · 31/08/2016 16:31

Key logger?

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:32

Whats is a key logger?

OP posts:
princessmi12 · 31/08/2016 16:32

Are you concerned about "the play" or the state of your relationship?

LineyReborn · 31/08/2016 16:32

How do you know he posted it to his online community?

rainbowstardrops · 31/08/2016 16:33

He knows exactly what you're doing?
Scary

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 31/08/2016 16:35

My DP saw one of my last threads (I showed it to him) but I changed my NN soon after so he doesn't know who I am now. Although, all he would have to do is pick up my phone and go on MN to find out because I never sign out. We have the kind of relationship where I know he never would and I wouldn't have anything to hide if he did.

I would be fuming if my DP did what your DP did though. Does he know you know he knows? (That was confusing)

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:36

because I am also on the online community, again I hadn't used it in ages because he was on there.

OP posts:
ParisGellar · 31/08/2016 16:37

Key logger? He's searched your internet history? Someone else recognised your situation and showed him?

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:38

We have been struggling for awhile and I have been looking for a bit of unbiased help.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 31/08/2016 16:38

Have you spoken to him about it? What did he say?

PamelaFlitton31 · 31/08/2016 16:39

Why did he repost it though? (baring in mind I have no idea what the post was about) did he do it in a nasty way?

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:45

I would be fuming if my DP did what your DP did though. Does he know you know he knows? (That was confusing)

It is a tricky one that, I am a bit upset that he posted my personal feelings to people I didn't want to see them.
I don't have anything to hide, I am pretty upfront with what I think and feel, it wasn't a particularly nice thread for him to read though.

His post is quite upset about it. I have changed my NN and asked MN to delete the post, though I guess if he comes back on here to see it wouldn't be that hard for him to find this post too.

He doesn't know i know, unless he finds this one too.

OP posts:
MrsJoeyMaynard · 31/08/2016 16:46

Do you use the same devices to access the internet?

When I open a new tab on the internet browser on my tablet, for instance, mumsnet comes up on the homepage as a frequently visited site, and it keeps me logged in, so DH could find my username and threads I'm on very easily if he went onto the internet on my tablet and got curious. Same sort of thing with my phone, if he were to access the internet on that.

Reposting it on another site though - any idea why? Have you and your DH talked about this since?

Lweji · 31/08/2016 16:46

He's either a regular here as well, or he is snooping on you.

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:49

He was explaining the situation and posted it as what I thought about it, which he then went on and said don't believe she thinks that.
Tbh I didn't read it in depth it was long and I wanted to get it deleted asap.

The post was about a row, our general situation (as I see it) and how I am feeling about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:49

*wanted to get my post deleted asap

OP posts:
RepentAtLeisure · 31/08/2016 16:51

My guess is that he's put some kind of software on whatever device you use, so he can spy on what you do. It's the most likely explanation.

Whocansay · 31/08/2016 16:52

How did you find out about his post if you haven't discussed it.

A key logger is a piece of software that can track your movements on the computer. Literally logging each key stroke.

Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:53

I only found out about it about half an hour ago and he is at work so we haven't spoken about it.

I just re read it and it says at the beginning I left myself logged in, though he must have used my password to get past the lock screen as when you shut the laptop it goes to lock screen right away.
hmmmmmmmm.

Shouldn't have read it again because it has pissed me right off now.

OP posts:
Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:54

So mystery solved in that regard I guess, should have read it properly rather than freak out.

OP posts:
Original poster
incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:55

As i said up thread who, I am also on the site he uses. I think he may have forgotten as I haven't used it in years because he was on there.

OP posts:
Mamia15 · 31/08/2016 16:57

Clear your internet history each time you use it.

Change all passwords.

When posting on here, change a few details that aren't relevant eg ages/sex of DC.

Frankly your relationship is fucked up anyway - its not normal for him to be stalking you and copying your posts online.