Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

outted!!

39 replies

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:19

So I left mumsnet a good few years ago because too many RL people used it and I kept getting outted when I posted personal stuff.
I come back on and my first post in forever is about my husband and our relationship and he has some how found out about it and posted it to his online community.
My husband doesn't go on mumsnet and no one elses knows about our current situation, how the fuck would he have found it?

OP posts:

Report

incognitomode · 01/09/2016 08:09

No, he said nothing.
He avoided me all evening remarkably easy to do when you have a house mate a loads of kids.
He left this morning without saying a word and we have his kids today after work so we won't get to talk about it until 8.30 ish at the earliest.

OP posts:

EstellaHavisham · 31/08/2016 23:38

Has he said anything OP?
He's invaded your privacy massively. I would struggle to come back from this.

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 23:28

I didn't say it wasn't all right for him to post about me. He has every right to seek advice/help.
Though I don't think it is cool for him to post a link to my post for his friends to read.
Anyfucker it certainly feels that way at the moment.

OP posts:

WamBamThankYouMaam · 31/08/2016 21:10

So you can post about him, and that's alright? But he can't post about you, because that's out of order?

And he posted on another site, which you've seen even though you haven't used it in years?

AnyFucker · 31/08/2016 20:16

This is Relationship Over, surely ?

WellErrr · 31/08/2016 18:09

He's snooping.

ratspeaker · 31/08/2016 17:34

Delete your history and cookies each time , make sure you log out.
Or use private browsing.

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 17:33

I agree Decaff, there is no reason for me to not post up exactly what I was thinking here, I was not expecting anyone I know to see it and wanted to to read what others though.
As it was I got no replies so it was a pointless exercise all round.
Oh thats him home now...

OP posts:

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 31/08/2016 17:28

he then went on and said don't believe she thinks that.

I think he posted it to the other website to get people to agree with him, and even though you made your initial mumsnet post believing it to be anonymous, he's saying you don't REALLY think that about the situation so that he can paint the situation from his perspective to influence others into agreeing with him.

Sounds fucked up.

If he actually cared, wouldn't he have read what you posted, taken it as an accurate representation of how you felt, then try to sort it out with you rather than look for validation that he is right from another website?

Mamia15 · 31/08/2016 17:20

You need to log in and out of Mumsnet each time now that you've changed passwords.

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 17:07

Well MN have been epic and it has been deleted already, thanks MN.
So at least that means that when people click on the link there will be nothing there.
Though I guess that will mean he knows I had it deleted.
Cue new row.

OP posts:

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 17:03

Poo, yes he would Buzzard.
I have changed my passwords, but that doesn't sit that well with me. Gah why does everything have to be so hard.

OP posts:

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 17:01

It is definitely fucked up at the moment, hence my original post, I am trying not to be to angry about it because there is so much else to be upset about at the moment.
I am pretty sure he wouldn't have done it if we were not so up in the air.

OP posts:

Buzzardbird · 31/08/2016 16:58

Even if you namechange, if he clicks 'I'm On' he will see this thread...just so you know.

Mamia15 · 31/08/2016 16:57

Clear your internet history each time you use it.

Change all passwords.

When posting on here, change a few details that aren't relevant eg ages/sex of DC.

Frankly your relationship is fucked up anyway - its not normal for him to be stalking you and copying your posts online.

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:55

As i said up thread who, I am also on the site he uses. I think he may have forgotten as I haven't used it in years because he was on there.

OP posts:

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:54

So mystery solved in that regard I guess, should have read it properly rather than freak out.

OP posts:

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:53

I only found out about it about half an hour ago and he is at work so we haven't spoken about it.

I just re read it and it says at the beginning I left myself logged in, though he must have used my password to get past the lock screen as when you shut the laptop it goes to lock screen right away.
hmmmmmmmm.

Shouldn't have read it again because it has pissed me right off now.

OP posts:

Whocansay · 31/08/2016 16:52

How did you find out about his post if you haven't discussed it.

A key logger is a piece of software that can track your movements on the computer. Literally logging each key stroke.

RepentAtLeisure · 31/08/2016 16:51

My guess is that he's put some kind of software on whatever device you use, so he can spy on what you do. It's the most likely explanation.

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:49

*wanted to get my post deleted asap

OP posts:

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:49

He was explaining the situation and posted it as what I thought about it, which he then went on and said don't believe she thinks that.
Tbh I didn't read it in depth it was long and I wanted to get it deleted asap.

The post was about a row, our general situation (as I see it) and how I am feeling about the whole thing.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Lweji · 31/08/2016 16:46

He's either a regular here as well, or he is snooping on you.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 31/08/2016 16:46

Do you use the same devices to access the internet?

When I open a new tab on the internet browser on my tablet, for instance, mumsnet comes up on the homepage as a frequently visited site, and it keeps me logged in, so DH could find my username and threads I'm on very easily if he went onto the internet on my tablet and got curious. Same sort of thing with my phone, if he were to access the internet on that.

Reposting it on another site though - any idea why? Have you and your DH talked about this since?

incognitomode · 31/08/2016 16:45

I would be fuming if my DP did what your DP did though. Does he know you know he knows? (That was confusing)

It is a tricky one that, I am a bit upset that he posted my personal feelings to people I didn't want to see them.
I don't have anything to hide, I am pretty upfront with what I think and feel, it wasn't a particularly nice thread for him to read though.

His post is quite upset about it. I have changed my NN and asked MN to delete the post, though I guess if he comes back on here to see it wouldn't be that hard for him to find this post too.

He doesn't know i know, unless he finds this one too.

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.