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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Who is in a happy relationship?

95 replies

RedSquirrel24 · 28/08/2016 18:26

I'm just curious, don't mean to cause offence either, but I'm single again, and feel that the majority of people I know in RL have very little nice things to say about their OH, so I just wanted to know who does have a happy relationship? how long you have been together? and what do you think makes your relationship work?.... Before I completely give up on the idea that I hope to meet someone, as right now I'm wondering if it is worth it or if I'm just going to keep banging my head against a brick wall trying to work out how the hell we are supposed to communicate and enjoy a relationship with the opposite sex!!!!

OP posts:

TurnipCake · 28/08/2016 18:51

I'm in a happy relationship after an abusive one and another where I was cheated on.

Been together for almost 2.5 years but I've known him for over 10; in our friendship group he was always teased by the other men for being the 'nice' guy (though he's no doormat).

He's the first man I've ever been out with who acknowledges that my job is more physically and emotionally demanding than his - this is amongst a sea of unreconstructed men, or men who believe that because they earn more, they come up top - that mutual respect was a good base for us to build on, and of course, there's a lot of love there.

user1472403155 · 28/08/2016 18:56

Not many on here, since DH's need to work 12 hr days then come home and clean the toilet, scrub the floors and cook a 3 Michelin star dinner according to minimum MN requirements .

mrschatty · 28/08/2016 18:59

I'm in a very happy marriage
We have our disagreements and it's 99% about housework.
But he's a lovely sweet guy he's romantic in his own way. We've been together since I was 18 now married and have a dc.
Lovely happy life together. Very calm which is what I want but very loving and intimate too!

MrsDallowaySaid · 28/08/2016 19:03

Us 😊 Together since we were 18 (16 years ago!) married for nearly 7 years. We're mates, we find each other funny, we enjoy sex together but cope if it is a little bit few and far between sometimes. We bicker a bit, usually over housework stuff, but basically we like each other which helps. Neither of us ever tell the other what to do, which is important to us. He's pretty OK my DH 😁

RiverTam · 28/08/2016 19:04

I am. Been with DH for 15 years. Possibly he was trained up by his various female friends and flatmates but other than his occasional juvenile sense of humour I can't fault him. It's a 50/50 partnership through and through. He's not a blokey bloke at all, no need to thrown his weight around or prove himself to anyone else. Works hard but not stupidly so, so does plenty of childcare and house stuff. Not terribly romantic, no candlelit meals on Valentine's Day but when I think of everything he is and everything he does for us, I couldn't give a monkey's.

And he pits up with me, no easy task to be sure. Undiagnosed PND for a long time, now wretched PMT, but he's there next to me through thick and thin.

toastymarshmallow · 28/08/2016 19:04

I am. Been together 5 years married 2. I have been in a few abusive relationships before, been a single parent too.

I don't know what it is that makes our relationship work. Respect? Honest lines of communication maybe. I am not sure. Yeah we have arguments now and again, but they never last long.

There are a lot of dickheads out there, but don't give up, there are lots of great men too.

SnakeWitch · 28/08/2016 19:06

I have been with DH for 14 years and we've always been happy together. For us, we genuinely enjoy each other's company and care about the other's happiness and wellbeing, and we rub along together nicely. We're similar in lots of ways, share interests, like lots of the same music etc so I guess that helps.

Feefeefs · 28/08/2016 19:08

Me! Amazing DH been married a year together 5 years I'm 6 months pregnant. We have good communication and he is very loving. I'm quite independence and very decisive so we compliment each other nicely. He also works in residential childcare and I think is knowledge and understanding of needs/communication and patience are incredible! He says I make him happier, encourage him to do well and work hard and support him. We work well together but we have worked at it too when nessecary!

AnyFucker · 28/08/2016 19:11

Me. Married 20+ years.

I was lucky. I picked a good 'Un. I kissed a few frogs first though...

Nobodysproblem · 28/08/2016 19:15

Been together 6 years, it's happy but not always happy! Mainly have disagreements over whats for tea and whose doing the cleaning! We compliment eachothers personality but neither of us expect too much which I think is what makes it work.

TheInternetIsForPorn · 28/08/2016 19:16

I am. My DH is just great.

Sparklesilverglitter · 28/08/2016 19:17

I am. Me and dh haven't always had it easy but we are still going strong

MakeItStopNeville · 28/08/2016 19:20

Me! My husband is awesome. He works hard, is incredibly kind and loving and has a cute butt to top it off.

Runoutoftime16 · 28/08/2016 19:27

I'm a huge sceptic. I have known quite a few couples who think they are happy but really have no idea what their other halfs are up to, truly shocking if they new! Ignorance is bliss.

Pinkheart5915 · 28/08/2016 19:27

Me!

My DH is the kindest most loving man and we have a very equal relationship. He also has an incredible body. And a fantastic father to our DC.

I married a good one ♥️

riojaandcorrie · 28/08/2016 19:28

Haven't met a man yet who wasn't a tosser!! Sperm donors are the way to go. I know a few couples who seem to be happy but a lot of the time I think about burying him under the decking.

crayfish · 28/08/2016 19:29

Me. My DH is lovely and I am incredibly lucky to have him. I was unhappily married before and noticed I was always moaning about exH. I hear a lot of my friends complaining about theirs too and some of them sound awful (not pulling their weight with the kids, horrible drunken behaviour, selfishness etc etc). I genuinely never have to complain about my DH to my friends, other than lightheartedly, Yes he does annoying things at times (as do I) and nobody is perfect but I just tell him how I feel and we figure it out.

I count my blessings every day that he is mine. Keep looking, good men are out there.

Eatthecake · 28/08/2016 19:31

Me!

Me and dh have been together over 20 years and we had a couple of tough times but we are still together and still very happy.

We have an equal relationship and his always been an amazing Dad to our 4 DC which makes me love him all the more.

There is no body else that I would want to be with

I married a good Man

Dowser · 28/08/2016 19:32

I am.
Together 8 years married for one.

He's just a lovely, lovely man.

He had a small stroke in January that knocked out half his eyesight so he's still partially sighted and cannot drive.
A test found it was a heart problem and he's on medication.
That and a few other things pushed me over the edge and I've had to go to counselling as the thought of losing him is just unbearable.

We are early/ mid 60s. Healthwise he's doing well and I'm gaining trust that he's going to still be here in the morning but it's very hard.
I didn't see anything like this coming.
Nothing bad was supposed to hit till our mid 80s ( in the fantasy world I inhabit any way.)

I'd love to think I'd get 30 years with him like I did my ex...and the clock started ticking on our wedding day....so we will only be 91 and 92 lol

But we have to be hale and hearty ...and still know who the other is.

( otherwise I'm not playing!)

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 28/08/2016 19:33

Me and my dp are very happy. I think he's wonderful and is only occasionally annoying.

Together 3.5 years. We have a baby together and I have an older dd from a previous relationship.

LumpyMcBentface · 28/08/2016 19:33

Me! We've been together 10 years. He's my best mate, he's sexy as fuck, we get on brilliantly. He does more than his fair share around the house and with the kids, puts up with all my nonsense and is generally a saint.

Everyone loves him, tbf. He's a really nice chap.

Dowser · 28/08/2016 19:34

Marriage is like a deck of cards

You start with two hearts and a diamond and at the end you want a club and a spade!

Mumble29 · 28/08/2016 19:35

Me! Me and Dh have been together for 14 years, married for 7, met when my ds from a previous relationship was 3 and we also have a 9 year old dd together.
We've had our ups and downs and do argue sometimes but we talk through shit and are honest with each other. Also sex life is still good so that always helps

NerrSnerr · 28/08/2016 19:36

I'm happy. We've been together 14 (got together at 19) and married three and our second child is on the way. We rarely argue and if we do it's never a bad argument, more of a disagreement.

DefinitelyOdd · 28/08/2016 19:36

I am. He just drove for four hours to fix my grandparents gutters as he 'wasn't going to have them pay £200 for something he could do'.

I definitely got a good one this time.

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