Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's lied!

86 replies

tootiredforthissh1t · 02/07/2016 21:44

DH has gone out drinking today with friends from work. They're mostly female. I dropped him off at the station for his 11.15am (rural service) train to the city for an early drinking session before taking DS to his swimming lesson. He said he'd be back on the last train at 9pm if not before. I got a text from him at 5 saying he wouldn't be home before 10.

I text him at 9.15 to ask if he's on the train-no reply, suspicions raised. I checked the train times and the last train back left at 18.30. I tried ringing and his phone went straight to voicemail. He's lied to me! I'm shaking and trying to act normal whilst snuggled up watching a film with DD. I'm not stupid and he's fucking cheating on me isn't he?

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 02/07/2016 22:13

To be honest even if he's not cheating, he's taking the piss. Leaves you at home all day at the weekend to go drinking. Either way he's an arsehole. And possibly a cheater. Think seriously about cutting your losses now before you waste years of your life.

Original poster
tootiredforthissh1t · 02/07/2016 22:13

I just checked his Facebook and there are no deunken pics out with friends as there were a month ago.

OP posts:
NittyNatty · 02/07/2016 22:13

I would contact a few of the colleagues and see if their stories add up. Just say you're worried about him.

Chatty100 · 02/07/2016 22:14

I would get worried yet. There could be a good explanation. I know how you feel though. There's nothing worse than sitting and going through the 'what ifs'.

letsstaytogether · 02/07/2016 22:19

Is he able to get a taxi/bus home? He could be doing that now with a dead phone battery?
Do you trust him?

OSETmum · 02/07/2016 22:33

On its own, I'm not sure it's enough to jump to the conclusion of cheating. But coupled with the pictures... Hmmm, if it was all an accident why did he keep them? Why are they no longer friends?

Original poster
tootiredforthissh1t · 02/07/2016 22:35

The bikini pics were 6 years ago. I spoke to the woman in question and warned her to stay away from my family

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/07/2016 22:37

What did he do to safeguard your relationship after bikini gate ?

You went after the wrong person there.

SandyY2K · 02/07/2016 22:43

I don't usually tell DH when I'll be back from a night out as I don't know when I'll be done. But I wouldn't stay out overnight unless on a weekend away with the girls.

It could be a simple error with the train timetable, you've jumped straight to thinking he's lying.

The bikini pics .... why didn't he delete them? I don't buy that story.
They weren't sent in error and I'd say something was going on between them. You telling her to stay away would do nothing if they were having an affair.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 02/07/2016 22:48

Regardless of if he is cheating. He is definitely treating you like a mug. And did it last time too when he stayed overnight. That would be enough for me.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 02/07/2016 22:49

It couldn't really of been an error with the train timetable because he knew from last month when he stayed out.

NittyNatty · 02/07/2016 22:56

Do you have no way of contacting the people he is out with?

VimFuego101 · 02/07/2016 22:58

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion he's cheating just based on this. He is a knob though.

Chatty100 · 02/07/2016 23:58

Is he back yet?

Original poster
tootiredforthissh1t · 03/07/2016 00:15

I just went to pick him up. Had to wake up DS. He claims a mix up with the train timetable and his phone died as DS was playing on it this morning. If I hadn't picked him up he said he was going to share a room with a male colleague or sleep on the sofa at a female colleague's. I'm seething and can't look at him. Twat. I actually think he's just a dipshit rather than a cheat on this occasion

OP posts:
Original poster
tootiredforthissh1t · 03/07/2016 00:22

And for the record I did kick him out after bikini gate. The woman is a lesbian friend who was prick teasing him. Yes he is a knob

OP posts:
Greatblue0wl · 03/07/2016 00:30

So you warned that lady off, what was the plan after. Warn all females away from your man? Obviously this man needs to be saved from the advances of a gay woman. Please consider that you cannot trust him, not the female population.

MsPavlichenko · 03/07/2016 00:51

Is she your friend? I know no lesbians who do this thing.

Original poster
tootiredforthissh1t · 03/07/2016 00:59

She was a friend of his from years ago. She lives miles away and he had a crush on her as a youngster. Anyway, I needed to put that episode in the past if we had a chance of a future. Seems I wasn't quite able to shirk off the doubt though as my mind went straight to him cheating over traingate tonight.

He's on the sofa and I need to wind down and sleep. Thanks for your views and support.

OP posts:
LadyB49 · 03/07/2016 01:14

Just out of consideration for you, if his phone was flat, he could have borrowed a phone or used a call box to let you know when he'd be home.
Some respect required.

SandyY2K · 03/07/2016 01:19

OP you sound very highly strung. Is something else bothering you? Are things otherwise okay in your marriage?

GrimmauldPlace · 03/07/2016 07:09

How did he contact you to pick him up if his phone was dead?

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 03/07/2016 07:13

A lesbian friend sent him bikini pics to 'prick tease' him
Ok Hmm

loobyloo1234 · 03/07/2016 08:34

A 'lesbian' friend who had a crush on him previously. Even more Hmm

Also, it's gone from bikini pics, to being 6 years ago, to being a lesbian friend ... damage limitation

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/07/2016 09:06

"I just went to pick him up"

Why did you do this?. He should have walked home, where are the consequences for his actions? You shielded him from that. And you had to wake your son up as well.

What do you get out of this relationship now, what has kept you within this at all?.

You stand for all this shite from him because its somehow "easier" for you.