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Original poster

Court ordered contact in hotels ?

61 replies

Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 14:13

Has anyone heard of this happening ? Basically ex is living in digs Monday to Friday and wants to take the kids every other weekend to hotel rooms. They are 13,12 and 5. They will refuse to go no matter what the court says, they e been asked about their wishes but not told about this scenario.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 19/05/2016 14:23

My ex stayed in hotels for a couple of his first over night contacts due to distance involved. Kids were just happy to see their dad though so might be a different scenario.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 14:24

Was it ordered by the court that that was acceptable though ? They want to see him they just won't be impressed by the accommodation

OP posts:
Fourormore · 19/05/2016 14:29

Yes I have heard of it happening where there is a large distance between homes. Don't see what the problem is particularly - it's just somewhere to sleep.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 14:31

Interesting, it's not though is it. If you've ever travelled with work you know the novelty of hotel rooms wears off bloody quickly.

OP posts:
Fourormore · 19/05/2016 14:33

What's the alternative?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 14:34

He gets a bloody house like normal people earning £50,000 a year

OP posts:
Fourormore · 19/05/2016 14:39

Ok. I don't think a judge is going to order him to get a house.
There's clearly a lot of ill feeling between you and your ex. It's probably just best that you play up the novelty of getting to stay in a hotel, at least in the beginning.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 14:42

No I'm going to fight it all the way, the judge can't order him to get a house but he can refuse contact over night until he gets one can't he/she

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 19/05/2016 14:45

If the children are safe and happy to see their father, the judge will order contact.

Friends ex has overnight contact with children at hotels as he lives in Scotland and they live in England. For longer contact during school holidays they go up to Scotland to his home.

You won't get far refusing overnight contact be side it's in a hotel, you're being unreasonable. If they're safe with him don't fight it.

NapQueen · 19/05/2016 14:46

I work in a hotel and we have had dad's stay here with their kids regularly as they are out of the country apart from contact etc.

What exactly is your problem with him staying in a hotel with the kids every other weekend?

Fourormore · 19/05/2016 14:50

If you fight it, you're likely to end up looking very unreasonable.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 15:33

The kids don't want it and are going to write letters to the court saying so. They have homework and friends to see st the weekend they don't want to be in a travel lodge

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 15:34

They want to see him, but in his home and find it pathetic and irresponsible that he doesn't have a home. They don't actually mind where that home is but they just don't want to go to a hotel

OP posts:
Fourormore · 19/05/2016 15:35

Right. I wonder what could be influencing their position Hmm
You need to be really careful here. It's not uncommon at all for children to be influenced into writing letters to the judge saying what they do and don't want. You could well find that this backfires on you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2016 15:37

Is there another reason you don't want contact?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 15:39

No I actually want him to have 50/50 so I can have a life .... He refused.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 15:41

It can't back fire on me because if he's awarded more contact than I want he'll crap himself and I will laugh lots and lots and lots .... Unfortunately it would be the kids upset though because he won't take them whether it's awarded or not

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 19/05/2016 15:44

I hope you don't talk about him badly in front of the children and that's not why there writing letters.
They should be able to make there own minds up with out anybody swaying them.

Apart from not liking him is there a reason why you are so against contact? Do you fear the children won't be safe with him for example.

I personally don't see the problem with hotels, the children will be somewhere safe with there Dad. Fighting it without real reason you will look unreasonable

Fourormore · 19/05/2016 15:45

It sounds like the pair of you need to grow up and actually put your children first.

fastdaytears · 19/05/2016 15:46

I'm surprised by your children's strong views on this. Are they really that concerned about trying to do their homework in a Travelodge?

Is there any other reason they're not keen to see their dad?

I can't see contact being refused if he has somewhere safe to stay with them, and a hotel doesn't seem like a bad option to me

blue25 · 19/05/2016 15:48

Surely the most important thing is that they get to see their Dad regularly? Why would children mind if it's in a flat/house/hotel?

babybarrister · 19/05/2016 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fastdaytears · 19/05/2016 15:51

friends to see st the weekend

In that case it does matter to them where he lives. If he moved miles away they aren't going to see their friends.

CrowyMcCrowFace · 19/05/2016 15:58

I have a similar situation because dc & I moved abroad after twunt ex & I split.

Twunt has them in hotels because if he visits here it's obviously the only solution, & if they visit the UK, it's still hotels because twunt now lives with his mum in her 2 bed terrace.

Twunt & I are no fonder of each other than you & your ex are! But the hotel bit is OK. Boring for the kids, yes, but they like seeing their dad, so suck it up.

They do lots of Disney dad outings.

You really can't obstruct access over this. If the kids dislike the arrangements, they can tell him that - not in your interests to be the arsey one.

Just smile sweetly & let him get on with it. He'll probably get bored with it himself....

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 19/05/2016 16:18

That's a good point crowy, they will vote with their feet in a few months anyway. I might loose the letters then if that's just going to provoke him. I was just quite surprised where I live was micro analysed by social services and yet he can take them just about anywhere and that's fine ? Seems strange.
It's all very well saying we both need to put the kids first, I've done but. He will get a court order that reduces his child support, not take the kids and land me in the shit again financially.

OP posts: