what would your husband say?

[sammyjayneex]

So if guy slightly burnt the rice for tea by accident or some other type of food for tea, what would your husband say? My husband usually gives me a lecture on how useless I am and how I 'need to improve' ect ect and doesn't support me or make me feel better about my tiny mistake, just makes me feel worse

You need to think about how acceptable it is for someone to make you feel small over something that isn't life changing.

If my husband saw I had burnt the rice he would ask if I wanted a different meal and a coffee.

No one should make you feel small. You shouldn't allow anyone to speak to you in that way

My husband is like that. Think it's his culture, he doesn't do "niceties".

I don't cook his tea and if I did and he said that, I would say 'well if you want a job done well do it yourself'. He sounds like a twat - get rid.

Mine would take the piss out of me for a bit (good naturedly) whilst ordering takeaway or helping me make more of whatever it was.

Is he like this in other aspects of your relationship OP?

He even said it tasted lovely when I forgot to brish the salt off the pork crackling and all you cld tase was salt!

He usually goes overboard with the reassurances. But always looks releived when I suggest something out of the freezer.

If it was rice though, I'd just make some more, he wouldn't bat an eyelid waiting for an extra 10 minutes!

All of which means that next time, you throw it in the bin and tell hin to DIY if he is so bloody perfect! You really need to start working your way out of that situation. Do you think he may be savageable?

Mine would laugh, then run away in case I whacked him with a teatowel.

How would you react if he did the same thing? I'm guessing you'd act completely differently - as most decent, kind people would do.

"Mmm, don't worry, it's delicious. No, no seconds for me, thanks."

Anyone who would chastise you for this is not a good person. Which I think you know, from the tone of your post, OP.

I'd be upset and DH would try to reassure me it wasn't important.

Mine would probably eat it and say it was lovely. Or offer to help me do some more.

DH would probably just eat it. If he told me I was useless I would tell him to bog off.

Sounds like an episode from the work houses in Victorian times, I mean seriously OP do you really need to ask?

Mine would eat as much of it as he could and then clean up the kitchen/wash the burnt pan.

Mine would probably say "Again?"

He would say "stuff happens" and we would jointly either cook more rice (doesn't take long), eat it as it was, or if irretrievable, find something else to eat.

..but then there is no expectation that I will land his evening meal in front of him and it's just as likely to be him cooking as me.

Either "don't worry I'm sure it'll be fine." Or if it's really bad "what do you fancy from the chippy?"
Fil is very critical of mil's cooking so dh is fully aware that any criticism and he'd be wearing dinner and cooking for himself there after. I'm not a professional chef and am fairly intolerant of people speaking down to me.

OP - what do you say to him when he says this to you? Do you let him know that it is not an acceptable way for him to behave?

He probably wouldn't notice ( he's more of a quantity than a quality food type) or if he did he would just eat it with no comment unless I brought it up

He has never, in 20 odd years of marriage told me I need to "improve"

He is not my master

Nor my employer

You all have very nice husbands

No. I consider that to be the minimum of being a decent person. Nothing "nice" about it.

My (now ex) dh moaned about my cooking once, I chucked his dinner at him, the dog enjoyed cleaning it up . Tell him to cook his own dinner if he doesn't like it.

DP burns the rice to the pan everytime. The rest of the rice is unaffected and he cooks the most gorgeous food.

Never occurred to me this is something I should comment on

My EX (ex chef, trained in Italy) once said that if he was given the spag Bol (I made) in a restaurant, he would have sent it back.

The sauce was a little more watery than a professional dish. I was

My spag Bol was a little off that day, but generally it's better than his.

Honey, if your h makes so much as a squeak, bin the fucking food and get yourself and any kids out and go and eat out somewhere.

One more shitty comment and give him a can opener (no can) and tell him to do a Bear Grylls and fend for himself.

If it was me and my GF burnt the rice I would say,
"Never mind love, you have a cuppa an put your feet up bab"
Then I'd make he a cuppa and call for a take away.

He wouldn't say anything at all and happily eat what was edible. If it wasn't salvageable he would give me a hug and maybe suggest we had bread with dinner instead. My husband is a reasonable and pleasant person, yours sounds like an arsehole.