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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has gone AWOL

60 replies

chelle792 · 06/03/2016 13:28

It's mother's day, my due date was supposed to be in two weeks and one day's time (mc at 11.5 weeks). Husband went out at 9.50 to pick up materials for work "for half an hour" with the dog.

He's not back yet.

I don't even think I'm worried - where the fuck is he?

OP posts:
Ginmakesitallok · 06/03/2016 13:29

I assume he doesn't have his phone?

MoominPie22 · 06/03/2016 13:31

Strange post....Hmm And what exactly would you like us to do on here? Post our guesses as to his potential whereabouts? Confused

pocketsaviour · 06/03/2016 13:36

If you're not worried then what's the problem? Were you planning to go out? Do you have other DC?

I doubt he will have attached any significance to it being mothers day. It took me a while to work out why you'd even mentioned it. Unless you have discussed it with him?

Bluecarrot · 06/03/2016 13:37

I'm really sorry he's not there to support you... Or so that you can support eachother. This must be a very difficult day for you both.
What things bring you comfort? A chick flick? Meeting a friend? A long walk? I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment if you are waiting for him to make you feel better. Empower yourself and do what's right for you right now.

I'm really, really sorry xx

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 06/03/2016 13:39

Moomin Hmm
Op are you ok? Is he always like this?

BirthdayBetty · 06/03/2016 13:40

Pub?

Marchate · 06/03/2016 13:40

Hope the dog's okay!!

CrazyMary · 06/03/2016 13:41

It's Mother's Day, could he be visiting his Mum or organising a surprise?

puckingfixies · 06/03/2016 13:45

So sorry for your loss op Flowers. Hope your DH is ok.

Redroses11 · 06/03/2016 13:48

That's tough and lonely. Hope he comes back soon.

ILikeUranus · 06/03/2016 13:53

I agree with Marchate and CrazyMary. Sorry you're having a crap day OP, and your dh has buggered off randomly for half the day. I'd be sad and pissed off too mostly because he didn't leave the dog with me.

Original poster
chelle792 · 06/03/2016 13:53

Thanks moomin for showing such compassion in the face of what is pretty obviously an outpouring of greif

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 06/03/2016 14:03

Woah, chelle!

You might want to save that for him. Your Op wasn't all that clear... you said you weren't worried, you 'sounded' annoyed. If you want more sympathy here, and you will get it as, now, on 2nd/3rd reading, it is obvious that the bit in brackets is what is upsetting you and he has just buggered off.

Flowers and my sympathy for your loss.

ImperialBlether · 06/03/2016 14:04

What happens when you phone him, chelle?

Original poster
chelle792 · 06/03/2016 14:09

I was doing ok until a very lovely person sent me a facebook message sending me love and hoping I was ok. Cue the falling to pieces.

I can't be annoyed at my husband it's not his fault I lost our baby. He doesn't even have his mobile with him.

He is unlikely to be with his Mum as they are JW's and don't celebrate Mother's Day

Point taken blanche, sorry moomin didn't mean to be a bitch

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 06/03/2016 14:09

It's unlikely he's even realised the significance of today for you.
Sorry it's so shit.
I presume you have tried to ring him?

BolshierAryaStark · 06/03/2016 14:11

X post.
He's probably at the pub, or maybe took the dog for a good wander.

OurBlanche · 06/03/2016 14:12

Ah! The joys of facebook Smile

Does he often go out for long walks? Is it part of his usual weekend routine?

Maybe you need to try and have a bit of a cry on him, when he comes home. Explain why you are feeling a bit fragile. If he is usually a good man he will probably be mortified!

MrsSteptoe · 06/03/2016 14:14

You poor thing. It's a really ghastly day for you. Do you think he's running away from your grief? Or do you think he hasn't really twigged and he's just sort of got caught up in the pub?

CamboricumMinor · 06/03/2016 14:16

Flowers St Davids for you OP

Original poster
chelle792 · 06/03/2016 14:18

I don't mind facebook too much, I tend to stay out of the drama. This person is so lovely and has been a great support. She got pregnant only a couple of weeks after my mmc so our babies would have only been about 8 weeks apart. Two babies in the family would have been lovely.

Husband doesn't really have a routine. I'm sure he'll be back soon.

I've cried so much this past few days - I thought I'd have no more tears.

It's thrown a grenade into our relationship and I don't know how to recover

OP posts:
Original poster
chelle792 · 06/03/2016 14:19

He wont' be in the pub. He'll be "pottering" - goodness knows where

OP posts:
hownottofuckup · 06/03/2016 14:20

You weren't being a bitch OP. Your post wasn't cryptic in the slightest, I'm not surprised you're upset. Flowers

hmcAsWas · 06/03/2016 14:20

I read your OP and focussed on your dh being AWOL and didn't notice the bit about mc. Re-read, and there it is. So sorry for your loss - Mothering Sunday can be a very painful reminder Flowers

littleleftie · 06/03/2016 14:21

OP I am sorry for your loss Flowers

Do you think he knew the significance of today and has gone AWOL to avoid any emotional conversations?

Or do you think he is just being thoughtless?

TBH I wouldn't be happy about my DH going out "for 30 mins" and still not being back four hours later and uncontactable whatever the situation.

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