First EVER date tomorrow night... And it's via Tinder!

[honeyJD]

I matched with a guy on Tinder a week ago - he seems normal, decent and made me laugh in his first message which was lovely.

We've arranged to meet tomorrow evening, for a drink in a bar in town. This is my first ever proper date - I'm 29 and have had two long term relationships both met via work, other relationships have bloomed from friendship. I've never been on a date with a "stranger" before and never anything via OLD!
So I am understandably crapping myself about tomorrow night. We haven't spoken on the phone and swapped numbers or anything, it's all been via Tinder and very relaxed.
I just don't know what to DO on a date. I know to just be myself but I'm going to be so nervous. I'll be driving so can only have one spritzer at most, wish I could have a small drink beforehand just to calm my nerves! I've planned my outfit (jeans, nice top, heels).

Any tips or advice please people?!

How exciting! Could you not get a taxi so you can have a couple of drinks? That would relax me :) On the date you just be yourself. Ask questions about him (what does he do, where has he travelled, been to any gigs or festivals, how many siblings does he have) just stuff like that. Conversation will be flowing. Enjoy it!

Hope it goes well, OP My friend met her lovely, gorgeous boyfriend through Tinder and they've been together 2 years.

Think you're right it's zero alcohol now... Maybe I'll treat myself to taxis... And just limit my alcohol so I don't get plastered!

Should I be early and wait for him at the bar, or be a little late but have to walk in and do the awkward room scan to find him?!

Yeah I'm hoping he's going to offer his number tonight or tomorrow, if not I think I will ask for it myself so I can call/text when I get there.

You sound like me. I hate looking around and feel like I'm looking like a twat. I'd be there early get a good position and watch the door for him :) woo I'm excited for you!

"We haven't spoken on the phone and swapped numbers or anything"

May I suggest you make sure you've spoken on the phone before you leave for the date, preferably have a chat tonight. Some people can seem lovely via email/text but sound like utter freaks when you speak to them, and you can't gauge chemistry very well via type. I say this from bitter experience! You can get a much better "feel" for someone by hearing their voice than you can in text etc. Some people will say there's no need to speak first, but many on the dating threads will say it's sensible to.

No, the drink drive limit has not changed.

I would recommend driving and staying sober, presuming you're not intending to bang him.

(You know Tinder tends to be for one-nighters, right? I mean I know some people do date from it. but it was invented for hookups. Have you discussed those expectations with the guy?)

Definitely speak on the phone. He might have the most unsexiest annoying voice ever

Remember to let a friend know where you're going and give his name, details etc. I usually arrange a "check up text" with a pre-arranged phrase that means "please call me and fake an emergency as this guy is an idiot but I'm too scared/awkward to just walk out".

You know Tinder tends to be for one-nighters, right?

Nope. Not in my experience.

Some people use it for that, some don't.

It's usually easy to spot people who want one-nighters, because they'll make it pretty clear. If that's what they want then they won't go to the bother of going for a date with someone who might not want sex.

Agree with talking to him first! And I wouldn't meet someone who wouldn't give me his mobile number - although I am sure this chap will

He gave me his his number last night and we've exchanged texts this morning - we are both at work now so no time to call I'm just going to have to go for it! We are meeting at 8 and I have work tomorrow so if it's bad I can leave comfortably at 10, I can survive a couple of hours with a weirdo, if he is indeed one!

And yes a couple of friends and my mum know the arrangements and plan.

I have nothing but good things to say about Tinder. I tried it (with serious reservations) back in 2013 and to my surprise I really clicked with the first guy I matched with...so much so we moved in together after 3 months and had our baby boy in June last year. I think some people do use it just for hook ups and one night stands but far fewer than people imagine. Have a great time tonight!

Hopefully it'd have been apparent by now if he was after sex as he hasn't even commented on my appearance in any way which I like about him I still don't know whether to arrive early so I can sit and wait at the bar for him, or be a little late and call him when I'm outside so he can come outside to get me.

I'd be going early :) Remember to update!

You sound just like me lol I overthink everything. Going in after him would be ideal so you don't have to nervously wait for 5 minutes years. Good luck!

I agree that a proportion of people are in Tinder for hook ups, but not all by any means, several friends of mine met their partners that way, and I am going on a date with a very nice, non-sleazy man, via Tinder.

Good luck OP, just think of it as meeting a new friend, and relax!
X

Serial online dater here, I eventually married one.
Yes it's scary but you'll be fine. I've had 30+ online dates, only with a few was there actual chemistry but the vast majority were perfectly pleasant.
Only two or three weren't, and they weren't dodgy, just not my cup of tea at all.
Chances are the chap will be just as nervous as you. Good luck!!

Personally I think you should be 5 mins late and text him to ask him to come out and meet you. That's what I always do.

Yep I think I'm going with the late option, and calling him when I've arrived. Eeek getting nervous now!

Personally I think it's rude to keep someone waiting, so would arrive on time and if my date wasn't there I'd text him to say I'd arrived and where in the place I was.

Marking my place as I've a tinder date on Sunday

%You know Tinder tends to be for one-nighters, right? I mean I know some people do date from it. but it was invented for hookups^

This is so annoying! Do people who post this actually use tinder? It's by far the best dating site I have tried (I've only tried free ones tbf) it's cuts the crap of messages from hideous trolls all saying 'hey how's you gawjus' and reduces the profile anxiety because it's so punchy and short.
I've met about 6 guys through tinder so far, dated 3 of them more than once and every single one was looking for proper dating, not hook ups. I've only had a couple of weird hook up type messages and I've messaged dozens and dozens of guys who were nice, friendly and normal.
Tinder is the way forward in dating. Just because it used to be mainly for hook ups doesn't mean it hasn't evolved into a perfectly normal dating site.

Can't wait to hear how it went OP ?
I've nee. I'm 2 on line dates having not dates since I was 16 so know how you feel ( married at 18 for too long )
It was and still is nerve racking ...but also so exciting . I feel about 18 .
Both mine were lovely but no chemistty .
Hope youve had a great eve x