First EVER date tomorrow night... And it's via Tinder!

[honeyJD]

I matched with a guy on Tinder a week ago - he seems normal, decent and made me laugh in his first message which was lovely.
We've arranged to meet tomorrow evening, for a drink in a bar in town. This is my first ever proper date - I'm 29 and have had two long term relationships both met via work, other relationships have bloomed from friendship. I've never been on a date with a "stranger" before and never anything via OLD!
So I am understandably crapping myself about tomorrow night. We haven't spoken on the phone and swapped numbers or anything, it's all been via Tinder and very relaxed.
I just don't know what to DO on a date. I know to just be myself but I'm going to be so nervous. I'll be driving so can only have one spritzer at most, wish I could have a small drink beforehand just to calm my nerves! I've planned my outfit (jeans, nice top, heels).

Any tips or advice please people?!

[Angieyy1]

I have been to a tinder wedding in Ireland ! They Re so in love it was beautiful to see !

[HotNatured]

You know Tinder tends to be for one-nighters, right?

Just to reiterate what others have said, this is not true. I have been on a lot of Tinder dates, all of them were seeking a relationship, most of them I didn't fancy, a couple I did, we went on to have a relationship and in the past month I have met the most amazing man, he's very much wanting a relationship and we feel v lucky that Tinder exists as we would not have met each other without it. My work colleague has been in a serious Tinder relationship for four months, another of my friends is going to propose to a woman he met on Tinder a year ago, I could go on ad nauseum.

[Binders1]

Been lurking, glad you had a nice time and I do think it takes courage - so good for you. I think it goes without saying there can be a fair few 'frogs' with OLD but I know quite a few people who are in relationships from it.

My sister went on a date a couple of weeks ago from 'POF' (first date she was tempted after ages looking at OLD). She said he seemed nice'ish to begin with, nice looking. Did talk a LOT about himself and asked her nothing. He had also come via train and kept referring to seeing her house, cooking breakfast. When he realised there was not a chance, he said he might catch an earlier train home (which still meant there was 2 hours to go ) - she walked him towards the station (being unfamiliar with the town, he wasn't aware that's where they were heading). He was a little upset/offended when he realised and she said 'Think you should go home now'. (Well she did walk him!).

[VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon]

They are a subset. Of course there are people looking for hook ups but they tend to be open in their bios so I just swipe past.

[pocketsaviour]

Obsidian I'll take your word for it that Tinder's evolved - I don't use it myself but I know a lot of guys who use it and seem to primarily see it as a source of booty calls, but perhaps they're a small subset!

Glad it went okay OP and I think all dates are learning experiences that will help you narrow down your pool of prospective dates in future :)

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Well done! The first date was terrifying but they get easier!
I usually look for hints that they have read my bio before getting into too much conversation. A think a lot of men people do is swipe right without looking at bios or further pics so they won't always have taken anything in other than 'she looks hot' so good to check it out. The guy I'm currently dating sent a first message saying something like 'I liked your profile' so I slightly snottily asked what specifically and he passed the test

[honeyJD]

Yep I'm going to keep going, now I know what to expect on dates I'll be happy to do another!

[donajimena]

Well done for getting back on the horse honey keep going (if you want to of course) I met my now partner on my second internet date, my best friend her first and another close friend it was nearer to twenty.

[honeyJD]

I'm home. It was good and a lovely evening but just not my type. Sounds shallow but he was shorter than me in my heels (I'm about 5"9 in them) also I mentioned what me and my DS are up to at the weekend and he said "oh so you have a son? How old is he?"
Umm it's in my very short bio!

(By the way my taxi arrived early. So I was in the bar for 7:45, popped to the loo then sat in the window and told him where I'd be)

[donajimena]

Ooh. No update. Hopefully its a good sign. Whilst we await I'll add to the voices that say Tinder has evolved. I tried it and I wouldn't have countenanced a quick shag..or a long one for that matter. It said as much in my opening gambit

[Tinkerbellx]

Can't wait to hear how it went OP ?
I've nee. I'm 2 on line dates having not dates since I was 16 so know how you feel ( married at 18 for too long )
It was and still is nerve racking ...but also so exciting . I feel about 18 .
Both mine were lovely but no chemistty .
Hope youve had a great eve x

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

%You know Tinder tends to be for one-nighters, right? I mean I know some people do date from it. but it was invented for hookups^

This is so annoying! Do people who post this actually use tinder? It's by far the best dating site I have tried (I've only tried free ones tbf) it's cuts the crap of messages from hideous trolls all saying 'hey how's you gawjus' and reduces the profile anxiety because it's so punchy and short.
I've met about 6 guys through tinder so far, dated 3 of them more than once and every single one was looking for proper dating, not hook ups. I've only had a couple of weird hook up type messages and I've messaged dozens and dozens of guys who were nice, friendly and normal.
Tinder is the way forward in dating. Just because it used to be mainly for hook ups doesn't mean it hasn't evolved into a perfectly normal dating site.

[HavingAnOffDAy]

Marking my place as I've a tinder date on Sunday

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

Personally I think it's rude to keep someone waiting, so would arrive on time and if my date wasn't there I'd text him to say I'd arrived and where in the place I was.

[honeyJD]

Yep I think I'm going with the late option, and calling him when I've arrived. Eeek getting nervous now!

[Helennn]

Personally I think you should be 5 mins late and text him to ask him to come out and meet you. That's what I always do.

[Frazzled2207]

Serial online dater here, I eventually married one.
Yes it's scary but you'll be fine. I've had 30+ online dates, only with a few was there actual chemistry but the vast majority were perfectly pleasant.
Only two or three weren't, and they weren't dodgy, just not my cup of tea at all.
Chances are the chap will be just as nervous as you. Good luck!!

[tanyadm]

I agree that a proportion of people are in Tinder for hook ups, but not all by any means, several friends of mine met their partners that way, and I am going on a date with a very nice, non-sleazy man, via Tinder.

Good luck OP, just think of it as meeting a new friend, and relax!
X

[LaurieLemons]

You sound just like me lol I overthink everything. Going in after him would be ideal so you don't have to nervously wait for 5 minutes years. Good luck!

[BramblePie]

I'd be going early :) Remember to update!

[honeyJD]

Hopefully it'd have been apparent by now if he was after sex as he hasn't even commented on my appearance in any way which I like about him I still don't know whether to arrive early so I can sit and wait at the bar for him, or be a little late and call him when I'm outside so he can come outside to get me.

[supersalmon1]

I have nothing but good things to say about Tinder. I tried it (with serious reservations) back in 2013 and to my surprise I really clicked with the first guy I matched with...so much so we moved in together after 3 months and had our baby boy in June last year. I think some people do use it just for hook ups and one night stands but far fewer than people imagine. Have a great time tonight!

[honeyJD]

And yes a couple of friends and my mum know the arrangements and plan.

[honeyJD]

He gave me his his number last night and we've exchanged texts this morning - we are both at work now so no time to call I'm just going to have to go for it! We are meeting at 8 and I have work tomorrow so if it's bad I can leave comfortably at 10, I can survive a couple of hours with a weirdo, if he is indeed one!

[VintageTrouble]

Agree with talking to him first! And I wouldn't meet someone who wouldn't give me his mobile number - although I am sure this chap will