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Oral

95 replies

twangmyknickers · 25/09/2015 20:30

I have a new man, lucky me. Portuguese for the record. We've been getting along well enough to end up in bed. So far so good. But things have been a little one sided, I've given more oral than I've received and as I quite like it, this afternoon I was bold enough to ask to be kissed down there. He was a little shocked at my request & said 'What, were you born in a barn or something?' BlushHmmConfused before he got to it. & no, he wasn't making a joke of it! It was okay, but left me feeling a bit crap. Surely in this day & age we women can ask for oral without any stigma attached? I felt a bit quite embarrassed/humiliated, like it was something a woman should never say Sad. Tell me it's him & not me.

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 29/09/2015 17:55

Be quite nice if they all had different flavours according to what the owner ate though. A man who was a chocolate and gin fan would be popular. Gorgonzola and pickled onions less so.

Jan45 · 29/09/2015 17:57

Well Portugal is not in Spain you know, they are two separate countries - OP, I'd have kicked his arse across the room for even speaking to me like that, you are a silly woman if you think sucking his cock is going to change the fact that he is a KNOB.

Stop sucking him off, no matter how delicious he is - he's not giving you the same respect.

molyholy · 29/09/2015 21:31

his attitude stinks unlike his knob. If the taste is delicious, I'm sure it must also smell divine.

UncertainSmile · 29/09/2015 21:33

Be quite nice if they all had different flavours according to what the owner ate though. A man who was a chocolate and gin fan would be popular. Gorgonzola and pickled onions less so.

I'm a fan of pork scratchings and pickled onion Monster Munch. I'm starting to feel glad that I can't reach mine.

honeyh365 · 29/09/2015 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWhine · 29/09/2015 21:42

AnyFucker, isn't this usually where you comment about the home life of our own dear queen?

AnyFucker · 29/09/2015 21:45

Indeed, MW. Alas, I have been as mucky as the rest of 'em on here so can't quite take the high ground.

The floor is yours Smile

honeyh365 · 29/09/2015 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWhine · 29/09/2015 22:08

shame on you all Shock

honeyh365 · 29/09/2015 22:12

This reply has been deleted

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MajesticWhine · 29/09/2015 22:15

Actually, I vaguely remember "trying" a strawberry flavoured one, but we are going back a few decades years.

honeyh365 · 29/09/2015 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VernonGodLittle · 29/09/2015 22:47

"''Selfish lovers rarely have knobs that delicious''

I'd love to know the source for this definitive statement of yours, can you please direct me to a link so I can read more about this trait that you'd defined?" Possibly their feeling of entitledness means their hygiene may leave something to be desired, leaving them a bit savoury in the underpant department. Cheesy nob, pissy pubes.

Anyway, I keep humming this cheesy old song about Pina Coladas, and replacing "Pina" with "Penis". The lyrics are hilariously misogynistic.

VernonGodLittle · 29/09/2015 22:55

Oh hang on, this version's making me cry.

honeyh365 · 29/09/2015 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 29/09/2015 23:41

Wtf are those dancers wearing. It looks like shiney fungus.

ScarletRuby · 30/09/2015 08:41

"Woman enjoys giving head" shock!

Yep, let's all pile in and have a pop at her, who said slut shaming was dead?

thehypocritesoaf · 30/09/2015 09:09

Women enjoys giving head to man who made her feel embarrassed and humiliated when she asked him to return the favour.

What do you think people are going to say? Keep on sucking, he sounds like a dream?

honeyh365 · 30/09/2015 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissApple · 30/09/2015 18:06

...his knob is delicious

I've clutched my pearls

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