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Original poster

DH smokes cannabis in front of our kids

78 replies

cosIsaidso · 06/07/2015 01:14

My DH is a chronic cannabis user who will never quit. He has been 'skinning up' in front of our children all their lives, he openly smokes in front of them, he takes them to his dealer's house when he scores and he doesn't really have any friends who don't share his habit. Although I try to be liberal minded, I can't help but worry about the effect his behaviour is having on the kids. When we met I just thought it wouldn't be a problem because tbh I shared his habit, then when the kids came along I sort of ignored the issue cos it was easier. If I make an issue out of it, it will cause loads of arguments etc, but I know he won't stop. Any pearls of wisdom from any of you that might help?

OP posts:
RagingJellyBean · 06/07/2015 01:15

Are you serious?

Offred · 06/07/2015 01:19

Leave him. That's all.

LuckyLuckyMe · 06/07/2015 01:24

You have a right to be worried. He should not be allowed near DC while smoking never mind taking them to a dealers house. Let's face it you don't know what goes on there.

FixItUpChappie · 06/07/2015 01:28

doesn't that speak to a larger issue with his personality?....if he wouldn't stop knowing you (nor the majority of people, nor SS) find this acceptable?

eachtigertires · 06/07/2015 03:28

My DP is also a chronic (cannabis and tobacco) smoker. We don't have kids. We won't have kids until he has quit smoking. It's a deal breaker for me. I know people my age who have parents who are chronic cannabis users and they are either chronic users themselves or very resentful of their parent(s) due to the time/money/health that it has cost them.

Cliffdiver · 06/07/2015 03:41

There is a vast difference to being liberal minded and allowing your DC to be exposed to dangerous situations and compromising their health?

How old are they? If school age I am surprised the school has not picked up on it, as they must smell of cannabis Sad

Why are you with this man? And why are you allowing this to happen?

My advise can be easily summed up in one word: leave.

Cliffdiver · 06/07/2015 03:42

Rogue question mark in the first paragraph!

textfan · 06/07/2015 03:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avocadotoast · 06/07/2015 03:53

Jesus wept, he takes them to the dealer's?!

How old are the kids?

Someone in DH's family has a partner who smokes weed in front of their baby. A lot. All three of them reek of it; they came round our house and left the smell behind. Soon as that baby starts school, it'll be pretty obvious to staff that it's going on, and I'd imagine they have to keep an eye on it as a potential safeguarding issue. Do you want that for your children, OP?

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 06/07/2015 04:05

Why did you decide to have kids with a drug addict?

SickInBedOnTwoChairs · 06/07/2015 05:54

Just smoking round the DCs would have me furious but illegal drugs! Taking the kids to the dealer!!!! - Please come back and say that you have a plan to change all of this. How old are the DC? Because you indulge or have done in the past, does not make this OK. You sound like you are presiding over an experiment to see if DC growing up in a household where drugs are normal will make them addicts in adult life. I can tell you the answer will be yes.

JeanSeberg · 06/07/2015 06:02

This'll be the same husband you describe as cruel, controlling and abusive on another thread, then?

forumdonkey · 06/07/2015 07:06

Poor DC's exposed and stinking of weed. Are they at school yet? Wait for a visit from SS and it can't come quick enough IMO. I can't believe that you have allowed your DC's to be exposed to this and go to his dealers!!

NorksAreMessy · 06/07/2015 07:10
Hmm
woowoo22 · 06/07/2015 07:16

LTB, why would you subject your kids to this? And no, he is NOT a good father.

EeyoresTail · 06/07/2015 07:20

This is what you get for putting your head in the sand!

LumpySpacedPrincess · 06/07/2015 07:22

You are complicit in this if you allow it to continue.

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 06/07/2015 07:28

If I make an issue out of it, it will cause loads of arguments etc

So what? Sounds like argument is needed. Actually kicking the fucker out is needed.

What about this situation makes you stay?

whatsagoodusername · 06/07/2015 07:33

He takes them to his dealer's house??????

None of it is acceptable, but seriously? I know cannabis is a relatively harmless drug but the drug business is not and children should not be around it.

cosytoaster · 06/07/2015 07:37

Leave. You're a bad parent if you stay.

tatumsfunkychicken · 06/07/2015 07:41

Scottish school holidays

Anyway...
Your poor DC, what a start in life.
Get a grip.
LTB
HTH

Lagoonablue · 06/07/2015 07:45

Cannabis is not a harmless drug though. It is nothing like the mild weed people smoked in the 70s and even 80s. The stuff now is strong to really strong and tbh will fry your brain if you use it a lot.

If your kids are around cannabis smokers they will be exposed to its reactive chemicals much like tobacco smokers. And to PP re their friends baby.....tbh I would be reporting it as a safeguarding issue myself, not waiting until the child attended school.

TheoriginalLEM · 06/07/2015 07:49

is this a joke?

Pipparivers · 06/07/2015 09:49

My concerns would be the affect on their health being around the smoke. I don't think watching their dad will make them addicts. I was around similar as a child and haven't smoked or taken any illegal substance in my adult life, neither have any of the children that experienced this with me. I think people can get really het up when you say dealer. Most people that smoke like this aren't going to some dodgy crack den to buy weed! They are popping to a mates house who probably has some growing kit or are selling enough to fund their habit. I wouldn't be terrified by my child spending a short amount of supervised time with these people.
Weed use doesn't seem to be an issue for you, but it shouldn't be polluting your children's lungs. Tell him to get outside with his poison!

gamerchick · 06/07/2015 09:53

You are aware that your kids will probably end up using it themselves don't you OP?

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