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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

to wonder why so many women put up with so much shit...

96 replies

BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 20:51

...from men, post threads crying about how awful they're treated, discount the very good advice they're given to leave the bastard, disagree he is a bastard, make excuses and blame themselves, and stay with th. cunt anyway. What's the point in posting in the first place if you're just going to ignore what everyone says?!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/04/2015 20:53

this won't end well

ALaughAMinute · 30/04/2015 20:55

Have you been drinking Boozey?

Original poster
BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 20:56

I know people get trapped in abusive relationships and admit that and experience difficulties leaving but I don't understand those suffering abuse who ask advice then just ignore what everyone says. What's the point in asking?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/04/2015 20:57

what is the point of this thread would be a better question

AnyFucker · 30/04/2015 20:57

what is the point of this thread would be a better question

usualsuspect333 · 30/04/2015 20:57

It's not always easy to LTB.

It's easy to say it though.

JulyKit · 30/04/2015 20:59

So you found the psychological, social, material and financial resources to walk away from a home and relationship, also dealing with DCs' upheaval, as well as your own, shortly after responding to some excellent advice posted on an internet forum by total strangers? Well done you, Boozey, you must have some chutzpah!
Many women don't have the resources to do that so easily.
Does that help answer your question?

JulyKit · 30/04/2015 21:00

And why are you so sure that these people 'just ignore' the advice, Booze?

Original poster
BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 21:00

what's the point of any thread? This is a postboard, people post their opinions. If it's in contravention of the guidelines, that's fine, delete it. If not, it stands. It's a legitimate question.

OP posts:
WastingMyYoungYears · 30/04/2015 21:01

Goady victim blaming, that's the point of this thread Hmm.

alphabook · 30/04/2015 21:01

Because sometimes typing it out is the first time they've ever really talked about it, or acknowledged that it's not right. Dealing with the realisation of how not-right things are can take time.

swingsandroundabouts2 · 30/04/2015 21:01

Lol....err
Pointless thread alert....

WastingMyYoungYears · 30/04/2015 21:03

AIBU to wonder why so many men are selfish / abusive bastards?

Fizzyplonk · 30/04/2015 21:03

Trauma bonding
Leavjng can be most dangerous time
Lack of money for rent
Tiredness/exhaustion
Needing time to get paperwork together/plan

swingsandroundabouts2 · 30/04/2015 21:05

To be fair...some women can be too...

Original poster
BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 21:06

I haven't found any resources. I got pregnant by a violent abusive wanker and have raised my nine year old alone since birth. I cut off his dad eight years ago for being a cunt. I work full time in a management position and haven't received a penny from his dad for ds.

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 30/04/2015 21:06

Well, let's see. Um, well, for starters there's

Go fuck yourself.

How's that?

homeusburger · 30/04/2015 21:08

TBH, the attitude you outlined in your OP is half the reason why women don't manage to LTB.

I'm sick of women getting blamed. You're asking the wrong questions. It's always 'oh, why doesn't she leave?', rather than 'why the hell does that arsehole do that, and why does society not stand up to him?'

LOADS of dickhead men are completely enabled by their family and friends who believe every word they say as golden and refuse to believe anything bad of their darling son/brother/father/mate. In the face of all that, it's often quite easy for the woman to believe they must be at fault.

Original poster
BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 21:10

it's a question borne from genuine frustration at how much advice is given out and how many women disagree with it, argue with it and ignore it.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/04/2015 21:10

You are fabulous, OP

Is that what you wanted to hear ?

ALaughAMinute · 30/04/2015 21:12

You sound angry Boozey, are you okay?

swingsandroundabouts2 · 30/04/2015 21:13

Just poppin my head back in to see if its still kickin off...oooppp and it is

Original poster
BoozeyTuesday · 30/04/2015 21:14

I'm not fabulous, I am nothing special. I'm just an average mother. I am angry I suppose. I am angry that women tolerate such shit. This probably isn't the forum for me to post in.

OP posts:
homeusburger · 30/04/2015 21:16

Boozey you should be angry with the men who treat them badly, not them!!

WastingMyYoungYears · 30/04/2015 21:19

Oh fuck off Boozey, I've read several threads where women have come back to give an update on their situation months after their original thread. It can be hugely challenging to leave a relationship for all sorts of reasons.