Ok, it's a bit mean to mock someone's online dating profile..

[CatKisser]

but this guy's a total prize. Choice extracts:

A lady that likes to wear high-heeled sexy stilettos or leather boots, because she knows that I like it when she wears them, even though her feet kill for hours afterwards

A lady that doesn’t mind twining a leg through mine in a public place to express her lust and affection would be the icing on the cake, especially if she’s a petite brunette (though having a pulse is the main criteria).

Why aren't I petite?!

smelling cinnamon and freshly cut grass, experiencing the dampness of the nearest UK beach, tasting a tear or other form of moistness,

I believe wholeheartedly in dragons, good women, and other such fantasy creatures and think there’s somebody for everybody out there somewhere.

If you share my strong belief that real love is all about sharing, and therefore you don’t mind joining me and my harem, then I look forward very much to hearing from you.

Just...WHY?

I think thats great.

You know who to avoid

HOW DARE YOU POST MY PROFILE ON HERE!!!!!!

Actually it may be great to go on one date and get him to wear heels, as baby you know how much I like them! Knobber.

Other form of moistness?! Ew!

What a total tool!!!

There is a reason he's single. I just can't think what it is.

That's all the same person?
He must have written it as a joke, surely?

Damn, if only I was a brunette

Eurgh, I had one on POF recently that did the 'like you' thing so I clicked on his profile.

It basically said he was running a competition where he would 'like' everyone POF suggested to him and whoever responded to him first would get a date with him and that would be that. There was no information on him at all, nothing to make you want to respond to him and he was very 'meh' looking too. I'm assuming it was his idea of humour, but you never know with these berks.

Strangely, I didn't respond. I hope I haven't missed out on Mr Right

I know. That "other form of moistness" made my flesh creep.

Still, all of that singles him out as one to avoid like the plague. Most helpful.

Oh God.....! This is why I am never doing OD!!! Eww, eww, eww!

Eeeewwwwwww.

That is all.

Expressing lust with a twiny leg? Joining his harem?
A pp has already covered the moistness horror

They must be queuing out the door...

You're not going to win much favour by declaring that the existence of a good woman is about as possible as dragons.

Twat.

"You don't mind joining Me and my harem?"

He's not all that single then is he? Some one must find him attractive?! Or is he wishing to start a harem.

Not sure I'm seeing why though

He has a harem? What, of cats? Lizards?

No, won't be meeting him!!
Sadly he's one of about twelve men in my vicinity between the ages of 30 and 50 who want a relationship but don't want children.
I've got no hope!

Poor bloke. He probably listens to women saying that they wish men would open up more and say what's on their mind. He pours his heart and sole out and look what happens!!!
He gets ridiculed!!

He has a harem? There are women out there who want to be with him?

I have no chance, I don't believe in dragons. I will sleep in a sorrowful state tonight.

Neil, I'm beginning to think this actually might be you...!

CatKisser , nah, I can't stand cinnamon.

Weeeell, I don't know.. Getting vair defensive there!!
The delightful chappy has just viewed my profile. Am semi hoping for message that warrants a ranty reply.