Am I within my rights to be furious?

[Autumn12]

DH has gone out with friends tonight. I've not heard from him which is unusual as he would usually text to see how I am. I did text him about 10pm but got no response.

I text him again about 20 minutes after the last train got in and he still wasn't home. He knows that I can't sleep until he gets home after a night out for various reasons. I have literally just had a text to say he is staying over at a friends house.

I am fucking furious. Am I being unreasonable? I personally don't think this is on for a married man anyway but I am 6 months pregnant and have been under an incredible amount of stress this past 2 weeks due to family issues. I am now feeling too stressed and annoyed to sleep after already having been really ill this evening.

Oh he has just text again to say he has had a really bad week as though that makes it ok!

hmm

well done on calling his bluff

I don't understand this "last hurrah" thing before a baby comes, either. Does he look on having a baby as the end of his life ? Parents do still get to enjoy themselves on occasion, admittedly less than before.

But surely committing to having a baby with someone is a tacit agreement that your lives will inevitably move on a stage ?

There will be many more problems between you if one of you acknowledges that fact and has a shift in behaviour accordingly, and the other does not

Stick to your guns now, he's most definitely waiting for you to back down and forgive and forget again.

How many last hurrahs will he have before the baby comes?

My idiot ex had a one of many last hurrah the night before I was induced. He arrived in still drunk and over the course of the day went from drunk to severly hungover. His doting mother arrived with a change of clothes and a packed lunch for him because, god love him, he had a tough night.

The last hurrah thing is a crock of shit, like people having a ONS on their stag or hen night. You've made the commitment already!
He could've called you if he wanted to. When you live with a partner it is simple common decency to tell them if you won't be home.

autumn how are you doing?? Have you got some support around you? When I was going through rubbish times it helped me to be surrounded by friends and keep busy!!

Autumn I read all your posts and I did feel for you, especially the night when he didn't come back. I think it was unfair of him to leave you hanging, and disrespectful of him too tbh. I also know what you mean about people being more coherent when on drugs as well as drink, from personal experience. Do you mind me asking how old you both are?

I would find it hard to forgive even if you weren't heavily pregnant, and his consequent behaviour on returning has been immature imo. It's a hard one to advise on though because I'm sure you don't want to leave him, it's just one of those things that you wish he just hadn't done because it hurt you and made you feel insignificant as you weren't worth thinking about on his 'boys night' and it's something that will probably play on your mind.

If you can if he's not too busy playing the wronged victim try to get him to see that he hurt you and made you feel like you didn't matter, when in reality he should be treating you like the most important thing in his life, because you are carrying his baby, and you need support all the more for this. I hope he listens, because if he doesn't I'm afraid he can only carry on treating you with disrespect, because in his mind you aren't worth more. Hope you're ok.

Once again Thanks to all of you who have been supportive and given some good advice. Things are being sorted out slowly after a lot of talking on both sides.

Did he move out? Are you working things through with him. Thinking of you.