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Original poster

Welcome to The Dating Thread. Number 40.

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 17:39

The next chapter...

OP posts:
Bant · 11/02/2013 20:21

Shame card: "it looks like you contacted this person last week and forgot about it, move back 3 spaces"

Nomorepain · 11/02/2013 20:26

Right that is it. I am hanging up my boots for the foreseeable. I should trust my gut instinct. Contact is sporadic with mr Irish. Nice but sporadic. He text me quite a lot last night and then sent last text asking what i was up to this week. He was hinting towards a date. I said I'm free in week but busy at weekend. Then nothing. Not a thing. No more messages. Just looked online and he is on. he has done this quite a bit now. definite sweetie shop complex. No doubt inwill get a text soon as he will notice i have been on. i am sooooo fed up of some of the men (the only ones I have met really) and their weird ways. It is meant to enhance your life not give you more issues to deal with. I wasn't expecting marriage or anything major but just a reply to a text and no playing. It's horrible to feel you are being played or overlooked. I am worth more than that.

I am done with this...... Till I get bored again.

mercury7 · 11/02/2013 20:28

Scrazy sorry to hear yours wasnt a winner, I'm not sure if the bloke who cancelled today is trying to jerk me around...I'll give him a little more rope, see if he properly hangs himself.
I'm not fussed, had a nice relaxing day all to myself, beats making conversation with someone who I dont want to see again...that being the most likely outcome..oh I'm such a pessimist!

ike1 · 11/02/2013 20:43

Hope Snape is having a good time and OWW enjoying her birthday dinner.

Bant · 11/02/2013 20:45

Nomore..

Had you met him? The problem with OD is that all the messaging in the world is only equivalent to you seeing some bloke across the bar, smiling, grinning, winking, whatever, until you end up in the same place and time and talk for a while. Up until then, he may get swept up in the crowd and you'd never see him again, and may think 'oh shame' but no more.

It's only once you've been on a date, or two, or three, that you have the judgement of them. Before then it's all wishful thinking. The point is to get to the point where you can make that judgement, count their teeth, whatever.

You'll be okay. You are, excuse my saying so, beautiful. You will be okay.

Flipper924 · 11/02/2013 20:47

I'm not playing Winkers and Blockers with anyone! Unless they let me win.

ike1 · 11/02/2013 20:51

Bant, you ol' charmer, you....

Nomorepain · 11/02/2013 20:54

Happy birthday OWW. Hope you are having a lovely evening.

Thanks Bant. That is very kind of you!! No hadn't been on a date with him. He just seemed nice. Lots in common. Think I have figured out now that I have lots in common with lots of people so I shouldn't use it as a judgement stick. Just feel but let down. I love the excitement of going in dates. After years if being in a relationship with someone who never complimented me and really couldn't care less what I did or who I was, I have found it exciting chatting to men again. I have also lost a lot of weight recently and de-mummyfied myself so I am not sure what type of man would be interested in me. Think I'm defo lacking in self confidence.

Never did the dating thing when I was younger was with ex from 16. I am confident in every other aspect of my life but just can't do the man thing properly it seems!!

That's why I think I need to sit out for a while. I need to get happy in my own skin. And I am mostly but would have loved a man to make it but more exciting!!

Nomorepain · 11/02/2013 20:55

Sorry for typos. I'm on my phone!!!

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 11/02/2013 21:01

I am just about to reject a man because he thinks pizza only got the wow factor when it was brought to the US. Now he has just offered up the San Fran 'breakfast pizza' as proof. Slap my arse and call me picky.

OP posts:
BillMasen · 11/02/2013 21:19

Hi all. nomore asked if I was still around (about 10 pages ago!). Yep lurking, popping in with the odd update and just generally keeping my head down Smile.

Scrazy · 11/02/2013 21:21

Been asked out by the faceless one, no pic, no date.

ike1 · 11/02/2013 21:27

Thinking of trying Soreen with cheese on it (this is the epitome of my excitment these day)

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 11/02/2013 21:29

Scazy has he given a good reason for no profile photo? I wouldn't meet someone without a photo either.

nomore OD can be such a confidence drainer, which is odd because anyone who hasn't done it would think the opposite. Is there any other way you could build up your confidence?

OP posts:
Alittlestranger · 11/02/2013 21:30

In the spirit of ethical dating, and the belief that if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem, I've been doing a bit of an audit of my own OD style.

I am getting better, but I think when I began I was a time waster, and I still have unrealistic expectations of first date sparks.

Which leads me onto my question...I think I was hasty in rejecting a second date with someone last autumn. How unacceptable is it to contact them now? Does it just look like I haven't found anyone better and am now slumming it, or could I make it seem more considered (which it genuinely would be). I'm not saying I think he's the one that got away, but I think refusing a follow up was hasty.

ike1 · 11/02/2013 21:30

Mmmm interesting...

ike1 · 11/02/2013 21:33

Dont think i will be repeating the experiment...

Alittlestranger · 11/02/2013 21:34

What type of cheese Ike? I thought it would go well...

Nomorepain · 11/02/2013 21:34

ike do you want some cheesecake? It's really nice!!

Scrazy · 11/02/2013 21:35

Alittle, you can strike up a conversation and make up some bull about why you didn't go for a second date and see what happens.

Scrazy · 11/02/2013 21:37

I might be getting a photo, suitable responses please if he's not my type!

Alittlestranger · 11/02/2013 21:37

He's deleted his profile so any conversation would have to be via text...

Now I'm thinking about it it feels like a bad idea as I didn't feel the spark so all I'm now thinking is how awkward it would be to end it after date four. And this is my problem!

ike1 · 11/02/2013 21:38

Edam.....yeah I see how it might work but kinda doesnt...would prefer cheeseCAKE ...the local does a lovel lemon one. Thinking of trying The Scarsdale diet...anyone done it?

KinNora · 11/02/2013 21:39

This OD thing is so weird, had a message from a man living in (vague motion here, implying that I'm rubbish at geography ) East Anglia somewhere. Turns out that he's from the same northern city as me. Then it turns out he's from the north of that city. Then it turns out that he went to the same school that my first ever boyfriend went to, this is the same school that the man I lost my virginity with attended and is of course, the same school my exh went to.

Note - I did not work my way through the boys' school, even though it sounds like I did.

ike1 · 11/02/2013 21:40

Surprisingly the kids absolutely LOVE Soreen....