Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

Original poster

Welcome to The Dating Thread. Number 40.

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 17:39

The next chapter...

OP posts:

mercury7 · 08/02/2013 21:25

same thing happens to me all the time..I think 'thats it! I've had enough! he's history!'
and then 'he' texts and I realise I've over reacted/got it all wrong/jumped to conclusions, yet again

I dont know what the solution is, except try not to take things personally

lulubellaboozle · 08/02/2013 21:26

nomore , he's not a player just because he is online, I think it's quite normal when you first start texting, chatting to someone to keep your options open and keep looking. We have all seen on here how people disappear or suddenly don't float your boat any more. After a couple of dates, or whatever feels right, then that is the time to try and work out if you want some exclusivity but not at this stage.

Text him, see what you think, take it from there ...... lots of hand holding on this thread

Nomorepain · 08/02/2013 21:31

Think this comes on the back of 2 of my friends telling me that they have doubts about od and quizzing me as to why I am doing it. They noth said lovely things about me but then said they are worried about what i am doing it for. Then the jokers I have had contact with recently have proven their doubts. I have had vanishers or very little contact and I can't help but question what I have done. I know deep down I haven't done anything wrong. I have been cool, sassy and non demanding. I've been funny, not overly flirty or rude because this just isn't my style. Seems they just prefer other people. And that hurts. My husband preferred another woman to me and was prepared to give up our lovely life and plans for her. What chance have I got with some random of a bloody Internet site!!!!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Original poster

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 21:33

Nomore I am often on sites just browsing, I don't always reply to messages right away as I feel if they are worth replying to I would rather do it properly, if I was busy I wouldn't necessarily text. He has given you a reason, maybe being involved with hospital and his DC is viewed separately from OD. Or maybe he is a player. Only one way to find out...

I think I might have posted randomly on the Internet some detail about not having Coffee for 4 months. My broadband has been off and I thought I was on this thread, hell only knows where it really is

OP posts:

lulubellaboozle · 08/02/2013 21:36

nomore I think we have all had the vanishers and the keen and then not so keen, it isn't you, it's just OD dating and the kids in the sweetie shop. You do need a thick skin I think and even then, I think it gets to everyone at some point.

You sound like you been playing it exactly right, so please don't be hurt. My husband did exactly the same and it knocks your confidence and self esteem and it really hurts. You have as much chance as anyone of meeting someone online. But you need to decide if you are really up for it at the moment?

Nomorepain · 08/02/2013 21:40

God. I need to chill. I text him something very short and he has text me straight back asking me nice questions and remembered something I am doing tomorrow. I need to give him the benefit if the doubt don't I.

He is majorly good looking, he has a good job, he seems mentally stable - why on earth would e be interested in me. I still think of myself as a fat, boring housewife whose husband left her. Can't think why anyone would want me. Been trying to fake it till I make it but I am having a weak moment tonight!

lulubellaboozle · 08/02/2013 21:44

nomore yay! nice man, good looking texting you, asking nice questions .... maybe he's interested because he likes what he sees and hears?!? there's a thing, eh? enjoy it ...... as my RL friend always says remember - YOU, are the prize!

48howdidthathappen · 08/02/2013 21:47

nomore Do you need the wet fish? He is bloody busy tonight, but could squeeze you in

Nomorepain · 08/02/2013 21:53

Yes I need the fish. In fact I probably need a whole aquarium!

Just. Need. To. Get. A. Grip!!!!!!

Original poster

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 22:08

Nomore to put it in context,Lubey found me about the only man I've ever found attractive on POF. We've been chatting a lot, he is lovely but I hadn't heard from him this week. Just seen he sent a message a few days ago saying he's met someone he's very fond of. It is nothing to do with me.

Likewise, I have no idea if Morning Knobber was putting me in the lead with his sweet trolley top 10 favourites or not during his grilling date this week. The very last thing he said to me as I got in the taxi was 'see you.. oh, er we didn't actually establish where this is going, did we'. My response was 'early days, bye'. I don't expect to hear from him and don't think he deserves to be told I'm not interested and would't have touched his with the barman's. I know he was punching above his weight, I know that if he chose to 'reject' me he would probably be right as he is not good enough for me.

OP posts:

Nomorepain · 08/02/2013 22:17

Juliette I live your strength. After weeks of feeling strong I am feeling weak tonight. Week and needy! Not a great combo.

That is so shit about Lubey's find. Rubbish. Morning on inner sounds like a jobber but at least you had the measure of him.,

I wish I was as strong as you powerful women on here. You are ace!

Nomorepain · 08/02/2013 22:21

Love not live!!

Original poster

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 23:02

Nomore it's all swings and roundabouts. I was crying upstairs earlier because I had take things out on my DS when he really didn't deserve it. Twice today, the second time I said stuff I shouldn't have and sometimes saying sorry isn't enough and I could see that by his face .

It's also have my man wobbles, I have done the most ridiculous things in relationships. I'm lucky enough that no one has ever been unfaithful (that I know of) but for years I wondered why no one appeared to want me. Sat in this room wailing just that on more than one occasion. No one is immune from self doubt at some time.

OP posts:

worley · 08/02/2013 23:12

hi. can I ask a quick question..
so, I joined match via iPhone app and have been having a conversation for a few days with a guy.. but now I've sent an email and it doesn't show up that I've sent it.. so I thought maybe I'd not sent it, so sent another little one.. that again isn't showing up as sent.. I've winked by accident !! trying to find my way around the site/app.. will it not show up as match have lost the message? or has he blocked me? he has looked at my profile this evening and is currently online.. so where are my messages I sent him. I'm so used to POF.. not sure I'm getting on with match..

lubeybooby · 08/02/2013 23:14

Worly sorry no idea as I've never used match... maybe just a glitch?

KirstyWirsty · 09/02/2013 00:56

I had a lovely night with mr cheeky and his best pal .. Drinks .. Bit of karaoke .. Train home .. All really nice .. He was ok when I went up to dance with pal .. We are going to stay in a lovely hotel that he booked tomorrow night

KirstyWirsty · 09/02/2013 01:03

Is it really such a major problem that he is in love with me and I don't feel the same? He is great company .. Smart .. Really sexy ..Witty .. Great in bed .. I don't know if I am just protecting myself too much by not falling for him

mercury7 · 09/02/2013 01:14

I had a lovely night with mr cheeky and his best pal

are we talking MMF 3some here?

KirstyWirsty · 09/02/2013 06:49

mercury No!!! Just drinks .. Threesomes aren't all they are cracked up to be

Nomorepain · 09/02/2013 08:00

Woke up today feeling better. Think I was just tired and whiney so huge apologies. Handover day with my kids always gets me bit down. Sounds silly but I can't wait till I have a man I can meet up with when me kids are with their dad. Would kind of soften the blow. Makes me sound pathetic but that's just how I feel.

I do wonder why od is so tricky. I'm not some kind of ogre. I am friendly and not psycho. I've got good job, lovely house etc. i pit effort into ny image, wear nice clothes, ways look presentable. The men that contact me are generally eyesores, or the "hi babez" variety.

Swapped few texts with new man last night - might call him Mr Irish. He seems nice. Time will tell!!!

hoplittlebunnyhophophop · 09/02/2013 08:46

Tried to do a toilet update last night but I'm too slow on my phone. Second date with Mr Pheasant was ok. I find the simplicity of his mind and life quite refreshing, and I am quite entertained by his 'says what he is thinking' talk though much of what he says is completely inappropriate, especially for a date (not rude or offensive, just stuff that you would not say on a date, it made me laugh). So a few beers at his local, then watched telly and had a cup of tea at his. It sounds crap but it was nice, and no pressure. He did offer to make me a sandwich, I said no, then wanted some of his when he'd made it because it looked quite nice, cue him huffing and puffing 'aah I knew you'd want some of mine, I was going to make you one'. It all sounds a bit like there was a lack of effort but he definitely isn't the restaurant and wine type and a few beers and a butty is much more me than wining and dining.

48howdidthathappen · 09/02/2013 08:48

Nomore We all have our shit times and it is ok to be woe is me. Impossible to plaster a smile on every day.

Kirsty I am terrified of falling for Mr R&R. Its why my guard is teflon coated.
I really couldn't deal with anymore shit right now.

48howdidthathappen · 09/02/2013 08:58

Bunny Sounds like you were both relaxed in each others company

Few beers and a butty much more my thing too!

Nomorepain · 09/02/2013 09:30

worley I had that on the match app. You can log
Into main site to see if it has sent. I found out that loads of mine hasn't gone!! Bit rubbish for an od site when every message counts!!!

VelvetSpoon · 09/02/2013 09:32

Cuthbert has just gone. Was a lovely evening. I like him an awful lot. Hopefully seeing him next week :)

I have various little doubts abd insecuritied about it all but I think they are simply me expecting that everything has to be perfect or else it is doomed to fail...

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

Swipe left for the next trending thread