Welcome to The Dating Thread. Number 40.

[JulietteMontague]

The next chapter...

snape, yep, i am quick to anger and stubborn ;) yes, i am.
haha, im the first one to say that. im also lovely.

I know what he gets from me.
I know what i get from him.

Its not even a date. its a non date.

I just have to go.

Goat boy isnt even an issue in this, that isnt going to go anwhere, its just a fling :) a fun fling, but a fling non the less.

I think snapes advice is very wise.

It is hard sometimes to do the sensible thing though. I know I have made every mistake with men it is possible to make. Hence I think why I am so concerned with everything with Cuthbert being perfect, howvever stupidly unrealistic that is.

The time we spend together always seems to go really quickly, and to never be quite long enough, we both said so...that seems to me to be a good sign I think?

its THE checkpoint.

ive already just had a massive go at him ( when i say massive, i do mean massive) for trawling for dates 10 days after splitting up with his gf. Asked him what the fuck hes playing at, told him ne needs to get a grip.

But anyway, its not my business.

Its a non date. my full stop, my defining momment.
In a church. with a camera.
safe as safe can be

:) at releases dove..

Just look out for yourself, watch. You and I may not see eye to eye on some things, and have a tendency to wind each other up and make people run for cover, but I agree with Snape, you're a nice person who can get hurt over and over by the same person, so just make sure you harden your heart and don't let him in again. Everyone on here wants you to not get hurt

Just signed the lease for my flat in Budapest, it's gorgeous and so cheap! Now I'm exploring the local coffee houses, Spanish guitarist playing in the background, and not trying to make eye contact with the Scandinavian looking girl at the counter. Honest.

Other than that, nothing to report (apart from having to respond to a woman I'd accidentally favourited on match to explain it was an accident, and she lives too far away, sorry. and not because she looks like Eddie the eagle Edwards

thank you ;)

I know, i know its from the best intentions, and i know i would be giving the same advice to someone else, and banging my head on a desk in frustration.

Its not a date.

Ill be fine, im tough. and im way stronger than he is. Also, i know him. i know how he works ( bad side and all). so im prepared, you know.

Bit jealous of Budapest.

Watch can you articulate why? Not the checkpoint thing but why you are bothering at all. You would tell any of us to dump from a great height. Either way, just take care of yourself.

Bant yay for Budapest, new city, new flat, new women, it is so exciting!

Velvet you sound soooo happy

48 so totally understand you not wanting any more troubles in your life but you have someone by your side in in Mr R&R. So you fall for him, the absolute worst that can happen is sometime in the future you get hurt. You are strong, you have great family support and role models from your sisters, you will survive

snape
Don't be, it's like Norwich but with better sausage. And, you know, culture and stuff :)

Bant I still have memories of a night out in Norwich, it was the complete deal including both clubs, flirting in the kebab shop and wandering the streets with shoes in my hand. I suspect it is not like Norwich.

Its because he gets my mind. All of it. From the light fluffy stuff to the stuff i would never even mention.the good stuff and the god awful stuff.

Thats why

And same the other way round .

More intoxicating than licking of faces.

Juliette I maybe a blubbering mess by the time he gets here tonight. Finding it really hard to pull myself together. Big admission I had a nervous breakdown about 16 years ago, refused happy pills, had to accept counselling or would of been sectioned. I have made an appointment with my GP for friday, may have to take the happy pills. I will not go there again!

Fuck knows how I have managed to get my work done this week, been in this morning and caught up. Going to clean the house and shop, Mr R&R is normally starving by the time he leaves here. He thinks I live on tea and fags. I do!

I really should tell him to run. Fucking Fast!!!

Bursts into 'I wil survive'

48, there has been a very strong family history of psychiatric illness in my family, it's been very close to home and had huge impact on all of us, consequently I vowed, despite being prone to a certain amount of depression, never to take anti-depressants. When my world completely caved in a couple of years ago and I really couldn't see a scrap of light, I eventually capitulated and saw the GP. The pills helped a lot, so did the counselling. Don't you be feeling bad about needing help, it's the mark of a strong intelligent woman that you ask for help when things are bad.

Thankyou Kin

I am fighting the urge to ask my ex for help. He knows me inside and out. He would drop everything to be there for me. I wont do it. Be completely unfair on him.

I am going to put my favourite tracks on and get busy.

That's ok, 48, it's not really a whole load of practical help but at least you know that someone sort of understands, and definitely does care.

The wanting to contact your ex thing is completely understandable, I had a shite day yesterday and the urge just to talk to Maris was overwhelming. Then his mum called me and listening to her made me miss him even more. It's all shite but it gets better.

Nora, I know we all make up our names for exes, dates etc, but could you do me an enormous favour and refer to Maris as Piper? I keep picturing you as Niles from 'Frasier' and it really throws me off when I'm reading your posts.

True about missing exes though, they know you so well and that's what you need in times of need. I try and remember the bad stuff when that happens, means I'm temporarily sad but better afterwards and less dependent on them

Rather ironically I used to have a bit of a crush on Niles. I bloody love Frasier.

I could call him Spud, which is what my sister christened him if that helps at all.

It's nice to see you back on here, Bant.

I absolutely agree that 'maris' makes me think of a dead seal in a dressing gown & a lamp that claps on & off. but I like that association because Niles is my favourite

not heard from nameless for 24 hours. I'm starting to view as a cancellation rather than postponement... although he is possibly asleep...

There was a thread somewhere on MN about Frasier this week, reminded me of how much I loved it. Remember that one with Frasier's Jewish girlfriend's mum at Christmas and Niles coming in dressed as Jesus ?

Is Nameless normally in fairly constant contact, Snape ?

nope, just reviewed...I tend to end a conversation & there has been a (counts) 30 hour gap before.... I'm just being daft & apprehensive in the way I am in the early days where I cant believe someone i like actually likes me dont really know whats happening... will not make contact, he cancelled/postponed due to lurgy, so it's his call to rearrange.

this is a practised air of insouciance with an expectation of dooooom.

mmmmmmmmmanchovy!

Snape I am certain he will be in contact :)

If it helps I still have a similar expectation of doom re Cuthbert. It seems so unlikely I would meet anyone whose interest I can sustain beyond one date, that I inevitably find myself thinking he must be bored with me by now. And/or that he doesnt see me as girlfriend material which is why he's never suggested anything in the future, only wants to see me once a week and rarely texts me

Snape, I see .... C'mon, remember insouciance is what you're all about, work it, girlfriend !

Velvet, that's because actually liking someone is scary, not being that arsed about a man is much easier.

I'll go halfsies on a packet of fish fingers with you velv

this second-guessing oneself is as a result of years of rubbish dalliances with emotionally stunted men and everytime I allow a tiny ray of hope to burst out from behind a piss-filled rain cloud, only for the wind to change. it's unserstandable I expect gloom! it's been three and a half-ish years of single-gloom.

it cant rain piss forever!

Ha "it can't rain piss forever", probably how dear Julian of Norwich would have put it if she wasn't so damn nice.