This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

[FlorentinePogen]

flo - do fuck off, who are to post ' home truths' on me, you dont know me, i have no idea who the hell you are, or why you seem to think its your duty to rip people to shreds. Its not nice, and im sure ' your old mum' would have said the same.

QED.

[VelvetSpoon]

Florentine, I can think of at least one previous occasion where you were unacceptably rude to Watch, and if that's the one you're bellyaching about, then a) it was ME who reported it so get your facts straight (and I think I also pulled you up on it on the thread at the time) and b) MN will only delete posts they feel are inappropriate, bullying, abusive etc. Not simply on anyone's request because they don't like the content.

I wasn't here last night, I wish I had been. I have only skimmed the thread but like Scrazy I could very easily see what she meant. It is also a huge shame that she (sorry Watch to talk about you like this) has been sufficiently upset both by the attack and the lack of support to leave. I do think of Watch as a friend, and she has been a great support to me, and plenty of others in the past, and I think her absence will be noticed on the thread.

[FlorentinePogen]

OWW, yes, haggis was excellent [bgrin], both veggie and trad. Wee dram as well.

[NicholasTeakozy]

Watch, please don't leave. You're a valued member of this board and this quiche in particular. You're funny and self aware and post great advice.

[watchoutforthatsnail]

flo, i had no idea what you are talking about, and velevet, i didnt know you had done that, i cant even remember the post in question.

it might be worth asking why the hell people are being so damn nasty to me, that people are reporting posts and MNHQ are seeing fit to delete them.

they dont delete just because a post is reported, only if it breaches guidelines or policy. which bloody tons of, towards me have recently.

i dont quite know what i have done to deserve this vitrol, other than not sit back and be bullied and have a go at. Just because i have argued back does not mean that i am not upset, and incrediably hurt, indeed i didnt sleep last night and spent a fair bit crying.

Because it was more than disagreeing, it was bant saying he had me as a target, and that is wrong. And then people agreeing with him. And that is wrong. And then saying im tough so should just take it, again, that is wrong.

Western, sorry you see this all as silly stuff, dont forget, when you have been upset about things, people havent said ' im not listening, this is below me'. Not nice behaviour really.

Ive been on mn for 8 years. Ive made rl friends, people who i see regulary, online friends ( or those that have not stabbed me in the back along the way). helpe with appeals, support, fun and laugher. I do not deserve this shite.
And i will not be part of this shite.

[mercury7]

it's just banter on an internet forum ffs let it go, I sometimes get a bit annoyed over stuff thats said on forum, for about 5 minutes, I've had arguments, been insulted, deleted accounts loads of times, so what, stop making such a bloody meal of it

[KinNora]

Darkened room again, anyone ? I took the liberty of bringing the ingredients for cocktails this time ...

[TweedSlacks]

As will be shown ?
Dont leave or lurk Watch , you give as good as you get .
Sometimes some people type things that are taken in the wrong way , and never would be said to your face .
Its not like a face to face discussion where you get a very quick retort , and can judge the context.
Leave it for tonight . Have a watch some crap telly , mail some people you have been putting off mailing.
Tomorrow is another day.

Dont let Brant get you , He's so not worth it.

[mercury7]

if someone wants to leave why cant they just quietly go?
Why make an announcement?
it's just attention seeking, make a big drama, try to get people to plead with you to stay

[VoiceofUnreason]

I'm afraid I'm with mercury7 on this one. Several people supported Watch, very few 'sided' with Bant, many of us kept out of it either because for whatever reason the two of you nearly always make each other bite or because we weren't online most of the day, came back when it was seemingly all over and felt it best to just let it lie and not drag it up again.

Watch, I understand why you are upset, and why you asked and got his comments deleted. But it is not necessary to come in as you have done, in my opinion, and stir it all up yet again and at the same time have a go at anyone who didn't support you at the time by telling us you don't wish us well. That's rather unpleasant.

Just to what many of us do if you want and say you're just going to have some time out and then come back when you are ready. And if you really want to leave rather than just have time out, then do that too. You don't need to come and stir it all up and make another drama of it.

[Scrazy]

Then I think you are right to take a break from it all Watch. Thing is that if someone posts something you don't agree with or you think you could give them a bit of advice about then it's fine to say it. However, it's best to put your point across and leave it, let the conversation move on.

Personal attacks are horrible and upsetting and everyone has the right to defend themselves in those cases. I did stick up for you on this one as I could see that Bant was targetting you over nothing, as he admitted that he didn't have much sympathy for you as there has been bad blood already.

So if you give it then sometimes you have to accept it.

[OhWesternWind]

Yes, when I've been upset I've had support which has helped me no end and which i am incredibly grateful for, but I have also felt hounded and pressurised to the extent that I felt I had to leave the thread for a while.

And I'm also willing to recognise that at least part of the problem might lie within myself.

I'm sorry if what I wrote upset you, but like a few posters have said, I think you and Bant just strike sparks off one another. It's not right to take over the thread with personal arguments with all and sundry getting drawn in and taking sides. It makes this thread an uncomfortable place to be. Just let it lie, have a glass of wine, do whatever relaxes you and come back tomorrow to a fresh start.

[KinNora]

I'm starting with a piña colada ...

[OhWesternWind]

Can I have whatever's strongest please Nora and make it a large one

[VelvetSpoon]

Watch, it was at the tail end of the graduate/non-graduate hoo-ha a couple of months ago. I reported, the post got deleted. I don't want to take sole credit for it, quite possibly other people reported it too, I have only mentioned it because of the suggestion it was you that 'went running to MN' which was more than a little unfair.

It's easy for some to say it's words on a screen blahblah BUT I think for quite a few of us there is a RL crossover, I am friends with quite a few people on FB, I have met several in RL, when you 'know' people in that sense it becomes less easy to take disagreements with a pinch of salt, they can have the same effect as if they were with a friend or colleague...

And I'm sorry, I don't care if this makes me the unpopular one but it's really unfair to say 'oh you're just as bad as one another'. Clearly that isnt the case as Bant made, and admitted to making a personal attack! It's a bit belittling to say that.

[lulubellaboozle]

Permission to enter the darkened room please, I think I need to lie down!

[mercury7]

I cant quite see that stuff said on a forum can even constitute a personal attack, in the sense that no-one puts their whole self forward here, it's just a thin veneer mediated via a keyboard.
This isnt me, it's just a narrow slice of me, mums net is a bit of light entertainment that I dip in an out of, an interactive magazine (as someone said on another thread somewhere)
Sometimes threads wander off into area's that I dont like or have no interest in, so I just leave it and come back later, or not at all.

Really people, lighten up and dont take it all so seriously:)

[KinNora]

Ok, OWW, how about a Metropolitan ? - chock full of booze.

Lulu, come on in, what can I get you ?

[KinNora]

Mercury, interest you in a little drinky ?

[lulubellaboozle]

Did someone say cocktails, I'll have a twinkle please

[mercury7]

I'm off to do some yoga..cant drink I'll lose me balance!

[VoiceofUnreason]

KinNora - I'm rather partial to a Woo-Woo. I refuse to ask for Sex on the Beach for fear someone might pounce on me!

[KinNora]

Ooh, what's a twinkle ? Sounds right up my street

[KinNora]

Woo Woo coming up for Voice

[watchoutforthatsnail]

cheers velvet :)

You are right, when there is a rl crossover it is all the worse. I have rl crossovers and several people on this thread i have ' known' for quite a few years ( over 2 in any case).

Its not quite as easy as saying ' just forget it, as it wouldnt be if it was said to your face'

and no, ive never gone out of my way to attack somone, nor to stir up shit, as he has done to me.

I posted today, to let others know. because its not right, hes not right to be doing it.
Funny how he said in his first post he wouldnt be able to post anymore as he was on a flight... but then continued to post for quite a while....

Anyway, im being drawn into it all again.
its not worth it.