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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

999 replies

lubeybooby · 25/01/2013 15:38

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

OP posts:

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Snapespeare · 02/02/2013 12:21

velvet. I am absolutely delighted for you.

VelvetSpoon · 02/02/2013 12:19

Watch, the sun is shining (well it is here, hopefully where you are too) go and have a nice time. I'd love to go to a castle...I am off to Morrisons which hardly compares!

Are you seeing Aussie no 2 this evening? might as well make the most of your free time!

I am happy. Cuthbert might be bullshit, but I don't think so. And if he is, he is.

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 12:14

hes an aussie, here for a year, it will just be siteseeing and company. hes good looking.
im not doing anything else ( and am avoiding housework) i dont have dd. its not going to cost me anything, cant see any reason not to go.

the other aussie has just given me his number, so ill text him when i get back from the other one.

and velvet, no, you sound happy, and thats just lvoely

Scrazy · 02/02/2013 12:13

Velvet, once a week is perfect. That's what I'm looking for again.

Western, maybe it's because we got it out of our system years ago, more years ago for me than you. Whereas, if someone has been trapped in a bad marriage and didn't sow their oats so to speak then I can understand them going for it, as long as it doesn't upset you, it's fine.

JulietteMontague · 02/02/2013 12:10

I mean holding out as a strategy, each to their own choice!

VelvetSpoon · 02/02/2013 12:10

Watch good luck for your date :) in a castle, how cool is that! I look forward to the update later...

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 12:10

it does get better as you get to know someone, but for me, that thing, that GGGRRRR needs to be there.
The rubbish one i had to dump after 7 dates because he hadnt made a move, that i had to take his hand and put it on my boob. He was nice, we had lots in common. I dumped him for lack of sex, and it wouldnt have been good sex, no matter how much i knew him.

I think id rather have wham bam, thank you mam sex, than sex with a man who is too scared to touch your boobs.

OhWesternWind · 02/02/2013 12:09

Worst that could happen Watch is that you fall off the battlements in the throes of passion ... Is there a dungeon???

VelvetSpoon · 02/02/2013 12:08

He said that he's completely rubbish for leaving it so long between dates and he feels he has messed me around. He says he does want to see me more regularly. We have said we will try and arrange something one night next week, and the plan is he'll text me later today as he needed to check when he was having his DC etc. So hopefully he will, and it will be arranged.

I do feel really comfortable with him. We slept all cuddled up together holding hands...I know thats a bit sad but it makes me :)

JulietteMontague · 02/02/2013 12:08

crossed posts

Woohooo! Velvet! Brilliant, good on you.

Holding out is silly and pointless. I have never held out, ever. I actually think you can't really know a man until you have had sex with them, how they are with you when in the raw and vulnerable says a lot. It's important to me so no amount of getting to know them, being a nice guy will do if they are going to reveal themselves as lacking in sensuality/decency/respect/enthusiasm/awareness

OhWesternWind · 02/02/2013 12:08

Scrazy must say I agree with you. I had lots of first night (not date, didn't "date"then) sex back in my late teens and early twenties. Some led to relationships, some not. And that was fine for me at that time. But I wouldn't do that now, probably because to me sex, however good, without the emotional connection, only seems like you're getting half the deal. It doesn't need to be love, but there needs to be something there.

BUT I'd never criticise people for taking a different approach. It would be so tedious if we were all the same.

lubeybooby · 02/02/2013 12:07

Ooh and velvet what did he say about seeing each other more often/not leaving it 6 weeks/etc ??

OP posts:

Scrazy · 02/02/2013 12:06

Velvet, great, are you seeing him again?

lubeybooby · 02/02/2013 12:06

Velvet :o

OP posts:

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 12:06

oh, im AM meeting the marine biochemist in an hour. AN HOUR!
in a castle.

ive not even showered. ( again)

Caution into the wind, whats the worst that can happen.

Scrazy · 02/02/2013 12:06

It's very important to me too Mercury, I have found that it gets better as you get to know someone.

mercury7 · 02/02/2013 12:02

I guess we all develop out own ways of handling things wrt sex & relationships, perhaps having sex straight away or not is more to do with how important sex is to you?

Of course I know that sexual passion tends to fade, but for me sex is so important that really if it doesnt work I just dont want to know..I'd be pissed off if I'd wasted time getting to know a man only to find that he was disappointing in the bedroom!

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 12:02

velvet!!!!!!!!
:) :) :) :)

see, told you :)

so, any plans to see him again?

Flipper924 · 02/02/2013 12:00

Aww, Velvet, so pleased for you.

OhWesternWind · 02/02/2013 11:59

So pleased for you Loved-up Velvet

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 11:59

i dont regret any.

i tend to go with the ' regret what you havent done' not what you have.
I have always been, and will always be a ' throw caution into the wind and live for the momment' type person.

i dont tend to overthink and analyise and just go with, if i want to do something, i do, and fuck the consequences. Sometimes this works in my favor and sometimes it doesnt.

Im not going to change.

VelvetSpoon · 02/02/2013 11:57

It went really really well

Even though like a complete idiot I fell over last night (in flat shoes, not even drunk, just slipped, landed on my knee, ripped my tights stockings and everything!)

He left about 15 mins ago.

He is lovely. I am very smiley.

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JulietteMontague · 02/02/2013 11:56

Watch what a waste of a condom. When a charmer behaves so appallingly, it is difficult to believe it's actually happening which is a shame because he would then have probably got tea poured in his crotch. Enjoy tonight.

Western I wouldn't try to second guess why LM posted on fb, some people just do that stuff. Don't make it your problem.

*MsC good call, men who don't know what they want, meh.

Flipper take care of yourself

I'm wondering if Velvet has broken Cuthbert

I am assuming I still have the second date with Morning Man on Tuesday, he has not been in touch since coffee last Saturday but then we never chatted at all before date one either. I'm not bothered by that at this stage, it was meant to be last Tuesday but I declined as he already had tickets to a comedy thing with difficult subject matter.

I also have to get proactive and mail some men this weekend. Any men.

Scrazy · 02/02/2013 11:54

Mercury, it's nothing to do with nice girls don't either. OK, let's just agree to disagree and that it fine to have sex straight away if you are looking for long term which I think most people on this thread are. Even if they don't want to live with someone, get married. They are hoping to meet someone where it gets further than the bedroom. So ime that means starting as you hope to go on.

I've had lots on first night sex btw. In my twenties, then I used to moan to my friends that men only wanted me for one thing. Some I carried on having sex with but wanted them to want me for more. The ones I didn't see again were because I didn't want to or because they were passing through my area, or they were in proper relationships unbeknown to me. Looking back I would have done things differently. There are a few I don't regret.

watchoutforthatsnail · 02/02/2013 11:53

tease, come on, how did it go?

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