Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

[JulietteMontague]

Off we go...

For those in need of a little cheering up tonight, I have two amusing (but totally unrelated) links. Strangely, the second one does not seem to include "Let the sausage see the roll"

XmasGifts

BadSex

Don't have any proper stockings or indeed the sort of dress that merits them. May put plan on hold until after a spot of weekend shopping. My legs are crap though, boobs much better so maybe a cleavage option for tomorrow instead.

Getting quite excited about date tomorrow. Really hoping he's recovered enough for some action and we can find a venue without various children/babysitters/stray relatives in cos I need a damn good seeing to . So that's me and Snape out tomorrow - who else?

And how's the Artist, Bant? Waiting for your loo update ...

OWW I am going to be too far away, but am hoping that I will be able to leave earlier on Wednesdays...arrrgghhh, I should have not waited this long, I should have jumped at prior opportunities, but was too shy, mostly because he must be much younger than me.
But since reading these OD threads, I am empowered to try it out with younger men.

I feel I should update after I kindly received advice. I emailed. No response. Bosom doesn't even require hoiking.

I have to say, im rather hurt by some of you on this thread. Ive helped many of you off thread. Ive cared enough to think of you and nominate for the xmas appeal.Ive sent PM's because ive genuinally cared about how you are. Ive defended you when maybe i shouldnt, and times when noone else was, and got roasted for it.

i wasnt the first one that disagreed with bant. I was just the one that got all the shit for it.

rather than people who i thought were my friends pointing that out, or stopping it, or making any comment in my defence, when they indeed had said the exact same thing as me, you all stood back and let me be hung out to dry.

thats not nice.

i will not stand back and watch someone/ anyone be laughed at. bant wasnt saying it was his preference, he was mocking, it was the mocking that was wrong, he even said so himself.... saying ' im being snobby, arent i'
i would rather say when something is wrong that stand back and watch and say nothing, for that is as bad as commiting the act itself. If more people behaved the same way, maybe there would be less shit ( and judgements we all complain about) in the world.

Then lost of people who hardly ever post came in to defent bant. quite where you came from, im not sure. And then to blame me for it being a ' clique'. Im sorry, but you are all grown ups. It says more about your self esteem that you see it that way and dont want to join in. Its a long running thread, join if you want to, you are grown ups. there will be back stories, and history, its the 30th thread. Im not to blame for this.

I am leaving the thead, frankly i dont want to be a part of something so shallow and vacant, i cant post fein interest in people that dont recipricate. I refuse to care about people that dont care about me.

I suppose there's some irony in the fact I have an entire drawer of stockings, suspenders and the like, yet neither occasion nor reason to wear them

I am out tomorrow at my first Xmas party of the year. Thank fuck for the free bar, I am intending to get v drunk indeed.

Watch I really don't want you to go. Please don't. There are many people on here that really care about you and appreciate your wit and honesty.

watch you haven't been 'hung out to dry'. People agree with you or disagree and are vocal or not vocal about it. Some people prefer to not get involved or relinquish involvement in confrontational situations because they cant do confrontation. some people relish it. that doesn't make anyone better or worse than anyone else, just different. We do all care about you, we care about each other because we do have that loneliness or aspiration that we might find someone - that's our common denominator, other than that we will disagree about stuff and we need to agree to disagree, move on and co-exist to an extent in our 2 dimensional pixelised world, because that's what we do. Life is difficult enough without getting the Internet involved in it.

Watch I'm so sorry you feel unsupported, I truly am.

From a personal point of view I have always appreciated the advice and time you've given me, even if I might not always have agreed with you :) And I feel out of everyone who's ever posted on the thread, you're the one who gets my situation better than anyone.

I do feel bad for not having said more on here - my reason fwiw is I didn't see some of the things said last night, or earlier today until much after the event - although I didn't agree with a lot of things that were said, as everything had died down by the time I read it all, I didn't want to be the one stirring up a hornet's next/raking over old coals or whatever metaphor you choose. It isn't like me to be reticent, and I'm sorry if that has in any way contributed to how you feel.

I really wouldn't want you to leave. Please don't.

Milk

Either he is as bad as you think he is in which case standard mn advice applies (LTB)

Or he isn't, in which case text him. The rules are nice and simple - it is like ping pong - he texts, you text, he texts. If he is not a monster he may be thinking that you aren't really interested because you don't return texts and he has to send follow-ups. If he sent the last text you lose zero face by sending him just the one.

There is so much mauvais woo in the air at the moment that i expect i will have to nc and leave the country when i see the response to this suggestion.

it's just a bit of banter with people on the net...people on the net aren't people with whom you expect to have any kind of deep connection, I certainly dont expect anyone here to 'really' care about me...no-one really knows me.
By the same token I dont care all that much about whats said to me.

It's all so easily mis interpreted that there's just no point taking anything too seriously!

Obviously leave the thread if it's pissing you off, but why make an announcement...if not to invite others to do the 'oh please dont leave' thing?

Long time lurker here, really Watch, calm down. You and Bant didn't agree, so what? This thread, used to be fun, started watching it when started OD back in March and it kept me sane during my time spent in the mad mad world that is OD. Incidentally OD did work for me and met someone in July but during the days of frauds, still marrieds and vanishing men ( but no cock shots), this thread entertained and reassurred me.

watch I appreciate your advice and support though i am not always very good at taking it And i would miss you!!

I do agree, I never went to university, mainly because of my health, i am far from stupid, i took my maths GCSE at the age of 14 so maths is my strength and gained good grades, i studied law psyhcology history and ict at a level so again not stupid, law was my strength and is a field i would like to work in, sometimes i think people assume people are uneducated, stupid or poor if they dont attend university, however sometimes either university isnt the best viable option, sometimes an apprenticeship is a better option and sometimes things get in the way of going to university

peppa I think you've missed the point...I'm loathe to put words into Watch's mouth, but my understanding is that she feels unhappy (and not unreasonably so) that when a disagreement occurred, rather than thinking 'so what' it seemed that lots of people leapt to defend the other person/criticise her.

Sometimes the thread is more 'fun' than others. As someone who has been here from day 1, there have always been, and I'm sure will continue to be, disagreements, sad times, and happy times. That's simply the nature of a long running thread made up of differing personalities and opinions.

I think I am about to become Mrs Fuck and Run

More trouble than it's worth.

It's not the disagreement, it's the not letting it go. Bant tried to apologise, others did too, an agree to disagree would have worked nicely but it's dragged on. Anyway back to lurking.

It seemed pretty equal regarding whether people agreed with Watch or Bant. I too have been on and off this thread from the beginning but in an extremely low key way-often just asking for advice or offering a word of support, a very casual member if you like. Obviously I havE slipped unnoticed under Watch's radar.

I mentioned the word cliquey because I think there is sometimes an expectation that if you are a long established member of a group that has shared personal experiences, you will be backed up by the other members come thick or thin. This thread has at times been like that but it is not different to any other group dynamic in RL or t'internet. Lots of you came back on and spoke glowingly of the support received as newbies which is lovely to see.

Personally I think it would be a shame if Watch left if only because she and others have enjoyed the mutual support system this thread provides. However I am sure that can continue in RL.

Thats it sponge.
Even though i wasnt the first person to object to his view.

Fucking shit if you ask me.

Plenty of people on this thread have had issues with things that have been said at some time or another. Snape i recall you pulling people up on yhings a few times... i dont recall anyone else ganging up on you for doing so... if they agreed or not. I also dont recall any instance when lurkers came out of the woodwork lynch mob style.

Noone told bant to calm down when he flounced yestetday . Noone said anything when he was digging at me.

Unfair.
And shite behaviour.

All in all, lesson learnt. As with internet dating, people arent what they seem no matter how long you have known them.

Ike - just exactly what is your problem with me?

It is not a personal thing I happened to think that, like peppa, you made your point of view over and over even when Bant had apologised.

So why the dig about you falling under my radar. What the hell are you on about?

I think you are just shit stiring for your own amusement.

Not at all, its just that you had said that you wondred where people like me had come from! Just answering the query.

At the risk of getting shot down in flames.

Can't everyone just let it go

At the risk of shit stirring myself....wasn't it more that the apology was effectively a sorry and I won't post again - which then inevitably produced responses of people saying no don't go. And the apology sort of got sidelined.

Plus sometimes an apology isn't what you want/are ready to hear if you feel you haven't made your point/been heard.

I think it is derailing the thread somewhat and it was not my intention whe n I made a couple of points- I am happy to respond to any queries but y'know dating is what the thread is about.