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Original poster

WWYD? Found condom...

109 replies

NannyPlumBum · 04/09/2012 19:27

Me and kids have been away for a few days visiting my family. We decided to come back a bit early, didn't tell DH, was supposed to be a surprise.
Went into bedroom. Condom wrapper on side, used condom in bedroom bin.
Porn DVD sorting out.

Confronted him. He denies sex with someone else, swore on kids lives, says he was watching porn by himself, is embarrassed, doesn't wish to discuss it.

I don't know what to believe.

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 04/09/2012 21:10

If the condom has been inside a woman then the outside of it would be a give away.

Guiltypleasures001 · 04/09/2012 21:12

Non you would be right lol told dh I was taking a straw poll..

I cam home and found a pair of my black lace madonna gloves with an elastic band around the wrist, covered in well umm yeah, and yes he had used them, but had put them back in the fecking draw. That was many years ago and other lifetime lol

I vote posh wank, poor sod

Guiltypleasures001 · 04/09/2012 21:15

if he had had a woman there, he wouldnt have used condoms you knew should be there, and lets face it he would have used more then 1..he was missing you and lonely op.

mampam · 04/09/2012 21:47

Just asked my DH and he knows what a posh wank is. When asked has he ever had one he replied "No!! It costs too much!".

I'd say more than likely he's telling the truth.

OhDearNigel · 04/09/2012 22:02

Just asked DH's opinion. He said he wouldn't personally but "saves the mess doesn't it"

Suspect your DH was just being lazy and could not be bothered to clear up after himself. If he'd been shagging an OW there's no way you'd have found evidence

Lueji · 04/09/2012 22:15

DNA test, obviously.
Swipe inside and then outside.

Sorted.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 04/09/2012 22:22

How many of the condoms are left in the packet ?

Heleninahandcart · 04/09/2012 22:25

OP whether or not it was a wank, if there is nothing else to make you suspicious they it probably was. But, to everyone who says a DP would not use a condom you could count or leave evidence.

Cheaters can be arrogant and entitled. They think somehow they are above getting caught.

Yes they do sometimes get careless
Yes they do sometimes leave the most obvious evidence
Yes they do sometimes swear on their DC lives it is innocent

Heleninahandcart · 04/09/2012 22:26

then, not they Blush

Blu · 04/09/2012 22:38

'posh wank'?
yes - though I haven't actually heard it called that by men I've heard talking about it.
Reasons I've heard:
To avoid mess and cold wet patch / and to create a sort of disassociation - some men use latex gloves instead - makes it easier to fantasise if the feeling isn;t their own hand on own skin, iyswim.
For habitual condom users it feels more like sex.
Many condoms are luricated on the inside so it feels nicer.

BonkeyMollocks · 04/09/2012 22:40

Dh has never heard of a posh wank and made this face Hmm .

Also said "Why would you need to do that??"

akaemmafrost · 04/09/2012 22:48

I remain unconvinced.

Spuddybean · 04/09/2012 22:56

DP always does it if we try a new brand of condom after having an allergic reaction to one brand. exH was advised at school to do it to get used to condoms so that it wasn't 'less sensitive' when they had sex (otherwise they get used to a more firm sensation and then dislike condoms apparently).

Loads of blokes i know do it.

I think with the porn it is the most likely. I can't imagine having an affair with someone and them using porn while i was there - that's something you would do in a more established relationship.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 04/09/2012 22:56

I think it was a wank too, fwiw. Just didn't want any jizz on the sheets.

Porn vid on... embarrassment, etc. Maybe feels a little ashamed about the porn, and given that OP surprised him with the kids, a bit mortified at the thought of what could have happened - being caught 'on the job' especially by the children.

Being embarrassed doesn't mean he's hung-up or that there's anything wrong with the relationship. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own sexuality by having a wank and nothing wrong with feeling like it's a bit private and personal either, even if you're in a relationship. Just because you have a sexual relationship doesn't mean you own every aspect of their sexuality, and as long as they don't break important rules, like shagging someone else, for example, everyone is entitled to a bit of privacy.

I confess I've pegged it upstairs a couple of times when I've heard dh's key in the door and I thought I'd left the rabbit out in the bathroom... just kind of felt like it was none of his business really, and a bit Blush

I don't think anyone owes it to their partner to talk about masturbation, it's kind of separate from the relationship when someone does it when they are by themself.

Cashncarry · 04/09/2012 23:03

GuiltyPleasures - your DH wanked into a glove Shock Good God man, that's disgusting

Guiltypleasures001 · 04/09/2012 23:05

hi cash no not dh a bf of many many moons ago, he is very much an ex lol

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 23:11

I know this may annoy the nay sayers. But it is a well know thing. As you can now see from other posts. I'm usually a massive sceptic. But it's the first thing that entered my head.

Cashncarry · 04/09/2012 23:12

Thank God for that Guilty Grin

OP - I vote "posh wank" - now that I know what one is of course. Isn't MN a great place for learning new and exciting things Hmm

MysteriousHamster · 04/09/2012 23:13

Might well be true (think it's relatively common), but I just think he should be trying to convince you of that, rather than hiding from it and using embarrassment as a shield.

jbbk · 12/02/2014 15:52

I'm a single man and masterbate using condoms, I find I get a better erection when I put a condom on. I don't have to worry about ejaculating. i use about 3 a day. so yes men do use condoms for that.

Jan45 · 12/02/2014 16:44

I would say if there is nothing else going on to make you suspicious of another woman then believe him, if there is reason to suspect he's been cheating on you then this may be another piece of evidence, only you know which one is more likely.

Thought I knew it all, never heard the phrase, is a tissue not easier???

normalishdude · 12/02/2014 16:48

Yes, blokes do it. It's not my bag (ha!) but it certainly does happen.

Keepithidden · 12/02/2014 16:50

It was called a "Royal wank" when I was at school. Not uncommon if memory serves me correctly...!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 12/02/2014 16:50

I wouldn't believe the "posh" wank story for a second.

All the reasons given for why he wouldn't have used a condom you might miss don't stand up if he's this embarrassed about you finding out.

Presumably as he didn't expect you back, he didn't think you'd find out that he used the condom.

I would be checking the bedroom and the rest of the house for any signs there was anybody else there.

Have the sheets been washed yet?

CajaDeLaMemoria · 12/02/2014 16:53

Why on earth did you dig up a zombie thread to tell us that you wank with condoms 3 times a day?!

Bizarre.

Anyway, this is from September '12, people. OP has probably sorted this now Smile

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