Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

[ripitupandstartagain]

I'm not convinced.
I feel that once you have had a real connection with someone on many levels, you just click/get each other, the sex is wonderful etc you can't go back to being happy with less.

I believe it. If DH went tomorrow I'd still be so happy that I got to be with him just for a while

I need a [cheese] emotion

I don't know. I think it's a platitude.

I think it's all well and good when a relationship ends well to think that.

But when someone cheats on me, and then I bin them....I would rather have not had them at all.

If anyone ever says that to me, I just say "Try it."

An unqualified 'yes' from me.

Maybe it does depend on what causes the loss. I just hate regret as an emotion - it has got to be one the worst as it is soo pointless..

Yes it is. Imagine never knowing what love is

I wonder how many men actually "love" in the same way women do? I mean, there's a lot of pride and trophy aspects with men, speaking as one.

Absolutely. No question.

No.

I lost a great love and it's left me scarred and unable to trust again. I'd rather I'd never clapped eyes on him, or at least not fallen in love. Though for me, to know him was to love him.

So: No no no. The legacy it's left me is a terrible one. I think it's something people say to comfort themselves when it goes tits up. However, perhaps time will heal and I'll feel differently eventually.
:(

@Mutt,
I'm sure we're capable of all kinds of things, I'm just wondering how many actually do?

John39 what makes you say that??
CheerfulSingsOut How long ago was your loss if you don't mind me asking?

I think yes although I'm going through the wringer at the moment...

Oh God, are you Belle? I HATE the bastard wringer!! Squish squish squish! ouch ouch ouch!

I loved and lost, but our dcs still love us both, so on balance I'd say yes. Do I still love her? No. Not in the way I did. But I value her as a friend and wish her nothing but happiness. Her being happy = our dcs being happy = peace of mind for me. Therefore, EAW.

Oh I'll be ok - thank you for making me smile. I'm letting him do it. That's the worst of it. Bloody, bastard love!

Arghh, it's all too beautiful/poignant, I need a cure. Is it:
a) have something to eat
b) to buy more shoes on e-bay
c) write some bad poetry
d) set myself up with an internet date that tips me into clinical depression

That's an easy one rip

The answer is 'All Of The Above'

I just ate too much chocolate. I don't even like chocolate much and now I feel sick...

Oooh, and do share the poetry

no.not if he's abusive,except for dc.only good thing to come out of last relationship.but, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger,and alot of lessons learnt.but no,he f.....me up big time.

For the same reasons as crest, I would say "No".

The only men I've loved have been abusive: so I have loved, been abused, and lost a lot. I would rather not have given my love at all.

No. I'd rather not have met him. The aftermath is hideous and never goes away. Far better to never experience it.

And I am ashamed of my thoughts and wishes.

Some people confuse love with lust. So is the question: Is it better to have shagged loads than not at all? And the answer is yes!

If you are talking about real love, the deep variety, most people will have experienced that, not necessarily with a partner. And that is a wonderful feeling not to be missed. So yes to that too.