Archers thread #149: This is not a drill, it’s a plot device. Here’s hoping for Stella-r rows in Ambridge. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think George Grundy's bantz make him a great laugh and totally harmless to women, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for title suggestions - @FallonsNewCoat started us off with Drilling down OR What’s the drill?: So many jobs hanging in the balance - what’s planned for Adam, Stella, Freddie and horrible George?, @OverArmour's suggestion was ‘Drilling down on less than Stella-r performances and who will be a pig in muck’ and @TeenDivided contributed the laserdrill focussed Lets drill into plot holes and hope George gets his comeuppance. I went for a bit of all of that. The phrase at the back of my head, which I am very pleased to have tracked down, was from one of my favourite film franchises where the character Conklin says in Jason Bourne's memory This is not a drill, soldier. We clear on that? This is a live project. You are go. Training is over. Training is over. Well, that's us, troops. Training is over, discussing The Archers is a live project, and it's our job to drill down into all aspects of what we hear.

On the last thread, people were discussing how unrealistic the portrayal of mental health problems is on TA. I wholeheartedly agree, but I suppose they don't feel they can tackle long-running slow burn storylines that often. They made a great effort with Jack Woolley's Alzheimer's. Other than that, I don't recall anybody having a recurring illness that's been portrayed realistically (and actually that goes for physical conditions as well). Most things clear up and are hardly mentioned again. Sticking just to mental illness, Pat had depression after John died, Mike Tucker had a bad bout of depression, so did Elizabeth. Helen's ED may or may not be about to re-appear, but nobody's mentioning it. Ben's rapid-onset depresssion recently led to a psychotic episode but now he's fine, not least because he got prompt, skilled and appropriate treatment on the NHS, unlike most of the UK. This is one area where I feel they shouldn't even attempt it if they can't do it in a way that reflects the reality of what most of us experience, for ourselves and our loved ones.

Anyway, with that off my chest - over to you!

Kate being Kate. In some ways she reminds me of an appalling colleague I had many years ago, who was one of the most self-centred and unself-aware people I've ever met. When she announced she was leaving, there genuinely was dancing in the corridor from other colleagues.

i think she is playing him at his own game though. She is now going to work to her contract i suspect, which means paying Adam (and Kate) no heed regarding the day to day running of the farm. Brian presumably manages shareholder issues so she can toss all that over to him.

It will be interesting to see Kate's reaction when she discovers that Stella is (as long as they rely on the BL contract) effectively unfireable.

In Stella's shoes? (I think i said at the time) I'd have followed up the discussion with Kate about the fire with an email outlining my understanding of what she said with cc to Brian (as boss)

And regarding Adam? I am less PA but more petty. I would have told Adam that he was out of order selectively remembering giving her the go-ahead (regardless of whether that was the right way to go about getting permission to order the drill, he basically lied to Brian about the conversation). I would tell him that our friendship was now non-existant and that from now on i wouldn't be discussing any Home Farm issues with him at all.

Adam mentioned only yesterday that she'd become a business guru rather that a wellness guru (or wtte) since she decided not to sell.

Fallon's back on the plastic! Did you hear her talking about the plastic wedding topper for Jazzer and Tracey? She made such a big deal about having her own plastic free wedding didn't she?

Oh yes I did register that. No more Henwee baby voice.

Helen's lawyers are cr*p if they've agreed to that meeting with no proper agenda, and aren't going to advise Helen and Lee beforehand and what to (not) say in various scenarios.

Also if they gave Helen to understand that things are Not Sounding Good.

At the very least Ron's going to milk his injury and subsequent seizure, isn't he?

*if they did not give H to understand that....

Yes, but tomorrow’s Friday isn’t it?

A tenner says tonight’s giggles lead to a Burns bump - that Fallon wanted to terminate. She’ll say she’s been open about not wanting a baby, Harrison will be aghast that this extends to abortion rather than just not actively trying. Cue misery all round.

But presumably they use contraception?!?!

I realise I mistyped Ron - can we call him that from now on, it makes him less scary?!

Well we all know how reliable that is in Ambridge!

I reckon Helen hasn't told her solicitor that she went to see Rob, it'll come out in the meeting and he'll be furious with her.

Could Rob's side use it to lift the non-molestation order 'she was happy to meet me in a cafe, I can't be that threatening'

Bloody stupid that the agenda wan't sorted out or at least a preliminary sesh arranged between Helen and Co. and the solicitor so they're all on the same page. I hate it when the SLs go roughshod over ordinary procedure to generate suspense.

Oh yes the solicitor's going to have their work cut out when Ron refers to the meeting. Although surely at that stage any competent legal advisor would at least pause the meeting?

Ooh do you think Fallon and Harrison are going to become the first The Archers/Death in Paradise crossover characters 😆

I've got vague memories of Ruth and Stella having a conversation about the lesbian love interest before she went away?

We know Helen hadn't told her solicitor about the meeting at the time of her conversation with Kirsty. It'll be interesting to see if she's mad enough to go into the meeting without telling him.

As I said, the next episode is Friday’s. Helen will do whatever will cause the greatest shock just before the music

If they did, it wasn't mentioned here as being lesbian love interest – and I would have thought that if it had been in the programme, it would have been pounced on with glee.

As far as I can make out from going through the synopses for this year, Ruth and Stella had not had a conversation on air between 26th January (when Ruth advised Stella that everyone at Home Farm had an equal right to authorise her to get the drill) and Stella's return from holiday in June.

That's basically a repeat of Alice and Chris

If Rob is having collapsing fits, he can't look after kids.

You’re right! Didn’t think of this.

That's a good point. It might put a bit of a damper on unsupervised access.

I was thinking that! In the last few months I've gone from extremely sniffy to hooked on DiP.