Archers thread #148: Unseasonably, it's panto time in Ambridge. He's behind you, Pat! BANG. Discuss the Archers here.

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Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Will Rob return, or are they playing with us? Will Pat run amok with her shotgun and wipe out half the village? (We can but hope ...) Will Oliver come to his senses and turf the Grundy clan out of Grange Farm? So many questions, so much time.

Over to you!

I find it astonishing that he would even think about staying in a B&B in Ambridge!

There is no way on earth Rylan would be sharing a family bathroom! He is actually quite a big star. Even a Travel Lodge would be more appealing than staying at Brookfield.

I have several issues with the B&B storyline, the idea that Rylan might stay at Brookfield is the least of the inconsistencies:

1. It was mentioned by Ben that Lynda's place is always busy and booked up, and this indeed is the impression we've got generally from listening in to Lynda and Robert's conversations over time. So why on earth would Lynda just assume that their best bedroom would be free at a week's notice?!
2. If there had been space at Brookfield, surely Lynda would have fobbed off another paying guest to them and kept Rylan for herself. The idea that she would let Rylan go to Brookfield is ridiculous.
3. What the hell time was Lynda walking Monty in the morning? Unless I misremembered and have wedged together separate scenes, it was early enough for Ruth to consider it to be too early to call, and early enough that she had to go back to make breakfast for the B&B guests, but late enough that Joy was on her way to the shop. Surely she'd have to be starting breakfast by 7am? I would say another person thinking it too early to call but not utterly absurdly early would be between 7am - 8am? And a village shop relying on volunteers couldn't open before 9am, IMO, so there'd be no need for Joy to be getting in hours before that.

Yes I thought that too, L would never have let Rylan go to Brookfield and potentially be confronted by David washing bits of afterbirth off himself at the kitchen sink.

Perhaps Rylan can stay at The Bull or Lower Loxley or maybe with Joy - that would be interesting

The whole Rylan storyline is utter nonsense from start to finish. If they end up having him stay on the narrowboat with Rex or pitching a tent on Lakey Hill, I wouldn't raise an eyebrow. The celebrity appearances are almost always toecurlingly awful, so I am braced for similar this time. We just have to get through it.

Very interesting point about Natasha/Tom and Welsh/English/lack of communication. Tom is awful.

I'm assuming all the yawn-worthy farming stuff by David to the journalist was misdirection so the photographer could be busy snapping Helen.

The last thing someone trying to avoid meeting her awful ex would do is talk to a journalist for a story that would go on the internet about something she’s involved in. Surely. The first thing that will come up if anyone Googles her.

I did enjoy David being boring though.

having booked hotels for a few “Rylans” I can tell you that in real life the absolute last thing they would ever want is to stay with someone who’ll want to talk to them. That’s why they’re usually in a premier inn etc if there’s nothing fancier available. (Presumably in archers land he’ll be delighted to stay on Joy’s lilo etc as a way to show how jolly and friendly he is.)

Surely Rob doesn't need a newspaper story online to know where Helen is? She's exactly where he left her. And presumably he can follow every update if the Bridge Farm website from Minnesota.

Also, weren't any Bridge Farm livestock disturbed by illuminations "all around the farm", plus visitors trooping round the trail after dark?

Maybe the point of the interview is not that it'll remind Rob where he used to live but to remind us of the past media interest in Helen?

I thought she'd have a panic attack at that point rather than merrily reminiscing about meeting the King.

I'm rarely across the details but isn't there a proper hotel in Ambridge that Rylan can stay in? With a spa and all? Grey Gables, where Tracy works (or did)?

Grey Gables has been sold and is currently closed whilst being re-modelled.
Tracy lost her job with the closure.

The Borchester Echo is a weekly paper which used to be owned by Jack Woolley no? The idea that staff there (an absolute skeleton staff these days if the paper has suffered the fate of most local papers) wouldn't know who the Archers are is vanishingly unlikely. Families like that - who run businesses and are therefore looking for publicity - are the bread and butter of local papers. In RL people would know the photographer(s), who must turn up for all the set piece events - flower and produce shows, Open Farm Sunday, Lynda's productions, the opening of Bridge Farm's cheese window etc etc The likelihood of an actual reporter turning up is very slim indeed (far more likely to put in a call after the event if a quote is needed - or indeed that the photographer and reporter would be one and the same). I can't believe that pair we heard last night are actually from the Borchester Echo.

Ah, thanks for that TeenDivided. As I said I'm not across the details. I do remember Tracy losing her job there.

All very true @LillianGish

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/may/08/charlotte-higgins-on-the-archers-ambridge-in-sequins-and-gothic-shadows?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Latest round up. It's strange how quickly things move on. I couldn't care less now about Oliver and the bench.

What you think they were only posing as from the Echo?!?
But secretly hired by Rob?

Did George actually manage to mend the bench? I seem to remember a suggestion that he wasn't making a good job of it, and he was expecting Oliver to pay for the materials?

I can't recall if they finished that storyline. I don't think Oliver handled it that well really seeing as he was wanting to support Brad in his studies.

The island where my parents live has a local paper which has, or used to have, the biggest reach within its community of any in the UK. Well over 90% of the population buy it every Friday. It's now owned by another local paper which does the printing, but there's at least one local reporter on the island. I'd be surprised if he or she doesn't also double up as photographer. You're right about everybody knowing the reporter/photographer, and that person also knowing all the movers and shakers in the area.

Completely agree, @LillianGish! My home village has the (local town) express, and there were ‘local celebrity’ families who often appeared - not actual celebrities of course, but the owners of a very fancy, very old lifestyle and furniture shop, the vicar and his family who have been there for decades, the owners of the ‘big house’ in the village. Basically, the Archers.

I love Rylan but the BBC is over egging the Eurovision pudding big style.

The Syksie storyline has me reaching to turn the volume down!

If they were, Rebecca Price has been doing it since February 2021. She was being played by the same person when she got given the bum's rush by Lynda, got Susan drunk, and persuaded Neil to give her the interview about employing Philip Moss which nearly got him the sack.

After the train journey from hell, Rylan has been in Liverpool since last Friday at least, staying at a hotel and posting on social media about being seen nude in his room by some builders on a crane. So he won't be driving past Ambridge on his way there this Friday.

I know this should maybe go in Pedants' Corner rather than here (is that still going? I haven't been over there in years), but Kirsty saying Semana Santa again today, after last week, is really pissing me off. It's got a perfectly good name in English, Holy Week. If you're speaking English, that's what you say.

Also, it's out of the question that Lynda would kick Adil out for Rylan. Obviously she would cancel a temporary guest if no other options were available. If she had, inexpicably, asked Adil to move out, it goes without saying that there would be a discount on his bill and that she and Robert would have arranged alternative accommodation for him. Lynda trying to offer that as a sweetner after the original conversation was ridiculous. I did like Adil playing her along by pretending to like the other places better though, well done him. You could hear the panic in her voice.

Ok so this might be a soapy plot too far but I was vaguely wondering if Kirsty and Helen would become more than friends tonight?

I don't wish Helen on poor Kirsty but she may well be more interesting than kung fu Lee. Or is Jim's daughter and poss Carol Tregoran (sp) the only lesbians allowed?