Archers thread #146: They did fall apart. Can they put themselves together again? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to donate your time as a guide at Lower Loxley to save the Pargetters paying someone else a living wage, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Impostersyndrome for the thread title suggestion Buses and trains are sorely lacking, canals might be nearby, but all roads lead to Ambridge, picking up on transport discussions in the last thread. In the end I didn't use it, having in mind the character limit. @TottersBlankly contributed an early draft title Wreathes, wrath, writhing (Jennifer, Lilian, Ruairi). Both good starting points for the new thread, which I hope will last till Jennifer's funeral, surely not too far off now. So, over to you - whither the Aldridges? Also, does anyone care if Lee goes to the US? Is anyone even slightly interested in the Brookfield B&B venture?

Oh gosh no Jenny was a feeder, not an eater. She probably quietly did a lot of aerobics in order to fit into all her expensive clothes. I imagine her a bit like Princess Di when she was younger, so a 70s ish princess Di type but shorter. Dyed blonde, lots of cashmere obvs, size 10-12. Dressed like a pricier version of the country casuals catalogue.

Susan is short, definitely curvier but too busy to be fat - probably 14 but slims down for her holidays. Not a very nice haircut, choppy chunky layers with blunt highlights.

Susan is definitely too busy to be overweight. Just as well really as she likes her slightly stodgy dishes (Lasagne and the famous Chilli..)

I always imagine Will and Ed are both very unattractive although I gather Ed is supposed to be quite good looking along with Chris and Fallon’s dreadfully boring husband.

All the farmers are probably quite toned just from all the physical work.

I think Ed is good looking in a grungey weed smoking way, there are some in every small town. Probably still wearing band t shirts from the 90s. Not a regular shaver. Smells a bit damp.

Harrison dresses in those shirts that are slightly too tight on nights out. He always smells nice and has one of those very clean jawlines.

(Can you tell I dated an "Ed" in the 90s)

Have you ever seen a fat farmer?

Yes.

I only see Jolene as a pirate too but without an eye patch and a hook for her hand. "Arr Jim lad"

I think we need Vince to be the one who has bought that land to build the charging station. We can have the first clue with him driving by and waving to David from his electric vehicle (probably via a muddy puddle). It would be great if it was Vince because then he’s forced them to sell the land to him when they never would have chosen to.

Also, I agree, Jenny was definitely a feeder versus an eater. I can definitely picture her doing aerobics or Callanetics / Jane Fonda a la green goddess style, in a set of leggings, headband and shiny leotard straight from the eighties. Brine would have loved it 🙈

Just listening on catch up - wouldn't they need sone sort of planning ref the huge viewing window ?

I just assumed that Vince was behind the charging station.

Just trying to think of who could squeeze into the box room between Lilly and Josh:

Ardil - no need as company paying to stay at Ambridge Hall and he is being lined up asKirsty's love interest

Rex - happy on his boat

Longshot - the mysterious suddenly available builder working on the window at Bridge Farm

My money's on Jim. I mean, there's only so long anyone could live with Alistair.

Yes! Exactly, the headband too. She’d have tried to get Lillian to join in but L would have to keep stopping for a fag.

maybe Jill would like to move in with Josh and Lily 😂 House of Jilly

Who’s moving into The Stables?

Would be brilliant if it could be Noluthando - though I guess it won’t be.

So … Paul. (Because to be a properly integrated new character he’ll need to live in the village.)

🔮Adil is for Lily.

Jim owns his own house.

Susan, Clarrie, and Adam are going to just love being gawped at while doing their job.

I hope the window is not south-facing.

Maybe Johnny's boat will sink at the opportune moment, rendering him homeless, when we've never had any scenes in the actual boat.

It's Rex who lives on the boat. Doesn't Johnny live at No 1 the Green sharing with Hannah?

Oh you’re right, I feel like I hear from them so infrequently they become indistinguishable in my mind.

For once I’m with Lily on this- moving out away from your mansion to pay rent only to find your scrotish heirhead brother is coming too? Nope.

Ruairi drop out of uni now he's not got Julieanne funding it, move in with the cousins.

Or Paul.

I imagine Susan being most upset - surely a pay rise will be needed to cover the extra hair-and-make-up costs she'll incur! As mentioned upthread, I also see her as very particular about her appearance

They wear hair nets and I presume white coats too.

Whenever Susan's got dressed up for anything (the photos etc) there’s always been slightly awed comment about how amazing she looks. So I suspect she's a bit of a knockout when she wants to be. Mostly she'll be like the rest of us, just wearing her day-to-day staples (and in her case, a hairnet in the dairy).

Why would Freddie want to live with that mean spirited bully anyway? I'm sure he'll be very relieved to have halved the number of people sniping at him in HIS house. If he could only get rid of his ghastly mother he'd be fine. Preferably with Chelsea.

And without Elizabeth to act as on site deterrent to the more stupid behaviour. If the third housemate is Freddie then I'd be telling Josh to find somewhere else and accept Elizabeth's offer of help to find a place closer to the University.