🎭 Archers thread 125: Ambridge Mysteries! The Case Of The Missing Pandemic. Where Is Pat? What Is Lynda Snell's Kompromat? Follow the clues and discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you’d love to be in the Mysteries, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3853783--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-5-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for thread title ideas to @Roysnewshirt and @Witchwife. Apologies if I’ve forgotten anyone else.

Do we think the Mysteries replace the usual fun storylines around giving things up for Lent? Light relief while we wait to see if the SWs go for realism and tragedy when Alice’s baby is born, or bottle out (as it were) and go for everything being fine? Will Jazzer and Tracy get back together again? (No bookie in the land would take money for that, of course they will.)

Over to you!

I felt murderous towards Susan last night. How the poor horse resisted the urge to trample her to dust - when she would not shut up for even one second ...

How hard is it to touch a horse’s ears when sitting on its back? It’s been ages since I’ve been on a horse, and most often it’s been in the US with a western saddle, but I don’t feel it would be that difficult. Quite happy to be proved wrong.

Depends on the horse. I knew one which absolutely hated having her ears touched. (evil grin)

I run a stables. Someone who is in my social circle had her first riding lesson with me yesterday. Her husband's a close friend, and TBH he used to be quite sweet on me.

During the lesson she let slip that she 'doesn't have a big fat backside , unlike ... some horsey people'. I think she meant me.

As a Christian, I feel that it is my duty to let her comment go. AIBU?

Hi Kirsten - I'd suggest you let the comment go. But also leave the odd buckle (or whatever) a little loose during one of her next lessons ...

Of course if you feel that PostMistresscide would be unChristian, it may be that this woman's husband (he that was sweet in you) would welcome your dedicated attention in these stressful times.

@PursuingProxemicExactitude, i do hope you are not suggesting postmistresscide or adultery. I might put her on a smaller but livelier horse next time. Her DIL's nag should be fit now.

That sounds a good idea! Maybe they could take a stroll down the road to see if any of the local young are trying out an old car they've fixed up. That should be safe and uneventful.

June for the play? June?!?!

So ... Rex turned down a joint application with Toby for the council farm? I'm guessing Toby will be the successful applicant.

And is Amy coming back as the community midwife? Odd to hear mention of her.

Yes that Amy mention was odd. If she's returning via this storyline she'll be doing it quickly, as Alice will only have a couple of weeks under midwife care won't she? Even given her condition, which that ridiculously and, imo dangerously naive discharging paediatrician dismissed with a "Jolly well done, you've overcome addiction, you'll be fine now!"

Please tell me that wouldn't happen IRL, especially given Alice's obvious nervousness and Chris's obviously unrealistic view.

Things are going to go wrong quite quickly, aren't they? Poor mite.

is Amy coming back as the community midwife? Odd to hear mention of her

Wasn't that just an opportunity for that nosy sod Franks to try to deploy a bit of All Good Dads Worry bonding, while sticking his beak in where it was not wanted? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Chris's privacy being violated. That's the least the bonehead deserves.
One would hope Amy daren't show her face in Ambridge again, after facilitating the survival of Helen and/or Henry.

If your daughter was a midwife, it's quite understandable that you'd mention her.

I wanted the medical person to tell Chris to shut up.

How long before someone comes round with something to wet Marthyr's head?

@PursuingProxemicExactitude

So ... Rex turned down a joint application with Toby for the council farm? I'm guessing Toby will be the successful applicant.

And is Amy coming back as the community midwife? Odd to hear mention of her.

Nope. A man who had some land to let twenty miles away which Rex thought might be a fallback if the didn't get the council farm was rude to him on the phone, so he was rude back and ended the call. Later the council rang to tell him he hadn't got the council farm.

Oops.

None of it was anything to do with Toby that we heard.

I think Amy was just a pretext for Franks to start harassing Chris.

Sorry Asking - I wasn't talking about today. I was trying to recall whether Rex went ahead with the council application on his own or whether he had, in the end, graciously allowed Toby to join in. Because if the former, I'd be surprised if Toby hadn't himself put in an application. And if Toby applied, he'd have got it.

@DeusEx

June for the play? June?!?!

They already seem to be dragging this out longer than most productions... but if it goes on until June I think I might go on strike and stop listening!

I had the same though PPE - it’s exactly the sort of thing that would never happen in real life but happens all the time in The Archers. I’m pretty sure Rex thought he and Toby wouldn’t be able to work together on the farm. So inevitably that’s what will end up happening.

There is no way JD didn't turn up with a week's worth of oven-ready, home cooked grub. Empty cupboards my arse.

Rex is his own worst enemy. So rude to the farmer about his ‘crummy land’, just weeks after trolling Brookfield. In the past he has always seemed like a decent chap but he is turning out to be a very unpleasant young man.

The scene with the doctor and Alice and Chris made me quite uncomfortable. Two men cajoling and not listening to a pretty desperate young woman. Chris deserves to lose her - and I hope Martha survives and Alice takes her too when she walks out on him.

I think Chris's attitude was understandable, he just doesn't understand what he's dealing with. The doctor's, unforgivable.

I can't believe Rex (or someone from the cast) won't somehow end up on the council farm. This storyline is the first mention we've ever had of such a place existing - why invent it if no-one is going to be setting up there so we can be introduced to all the ins and outs of such an arrangement. Hard to imagine Toby and his gin would have a better chance than Rex and his 50 pigs - who else might have applied? Or might the successful applicant be somehow unable to take up tenure - struck dead by Covid, had second thoughts after Brexit, got a better offer - so Rex gets it by default as second choice?

Chris is right back in denial. I do wish they'd write in him having the sense to go something like Al-Anon to have a dose of reality. In fact you would think that that would be something that AA really push for, giving that it's difficult enough dealing with alcohol addiction without your nearest and dearest closing their eyes and insisting that you're absolutely fine.

Rex's character transplant is annoying me. I suspect he is going to get bailed out somehow by Neil or Brine (to keep Phoebe happy), and he doesn't really deserve it.

Chris deserves to lose her - and I hope Martha survives and Alice takes her too when she walks out on him
Oh dear, @Roysnewshirt, you're clearly a beginner at this ill-wishing malarkey. What Chris deserves is to be left holding this baby he thought he wanted and to discover in quick succession that he didn't actually want the reality of a child at all - wrangling it was to have been Alice's department, with him doing the Kodak moments - and that it is Not Quite Right.

I'm of the same mind as theThreeofWeevils..

Kristiffur has become a bit neanderthal. Moi woife, Moi baybee. Why on earth aren't they getting more help?

I wonder who will get the council farm? Might it be Toby, Josh or Mianed?

Hadn't Toby sold Scruff Gin, to - I forget, but an established local drinks firm / brewery / whatever?

We haven't yet heard how much profit he made.

If Chris was left holding the baby, the women of Ambridge would flock round, relieving him of as much of the actual work as possible.

Martha has two grandmothers, plus aunts Emma and Kate, uncles (opportunities for Martha to have playdates with Zander) cousin Phoebe, etc etc.