I know
Well phone goes, I answer
MIL "are you all prepared for Christmas then?"
ME "ooh no not yet"
MIL "oh not very with it then?"
ME (seething) " well we have too many people to buy for to be all done"
MIl "well we can't be bothered with it all anyway"
Right, so she's not all organised then, she just isn't bothering 
MIL "oh it's sooooooo cold, we've only just put our heating on and my hands are blue"
ME "well I'm not surprised"
MIL "yes but it's so expensive"
(me thinking, well you've both stopped smoking now, why not use all that money you've saved on it?!)
ME "yes but you can't get THAT cold, how about heating one room to keep warm?"
MIL "yes well we could do but we like to sit at the table in the day"
SIGH SIGH SIGH - Yes I effin well know you do, sit at dining room table ALL DAY, only allowed into living room on comfy chair in the evening. Well stop bloody moaning you are cold then - don't go on foreign holidays every year that inlaw father doesn't like anyway and stay at home and spend your money on bloody heating!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh and she never has anytime to do anything you know, even though they don't go anywhere, don't see anyone and it is only the two of them. But insisting she speak to DH, even though his hands are covered in raw chicken. balls off I say 