Has anyone started down the road of private education really struggling to afford it - and if so, what happened?

[wheelsonthebus]

my dh has just lost his job. i have a bit of savings and a salary. However we will struggle hugely to do private on one salary alone. We are unhappy with the performance of the local primary state school (as is Ofsted). Do we struggle ahead with private, or just cut our losses and hope we can afford tuition if and when necessary, and try to teach our son at home after school as best we can.

I really wouldn't do it if it was going to be a big struggle. How bad is the state school? Have you visited it? Are there no other state options locally?

Personally, I would struggle on. A good school (state or, in your case, private) has so much more to offer than the academic side that a tutor could cover. Likewise, a rotten school educates a child negatively in all kinds of ways. Do you have anything like a second car you could sell? School fees would be the very, very last thing to go for us. I would try to find every possible way to cut back on other things first. But this is just my feeling - it doesn't make it right for everyone...

dottoressa - i am similar in thinking to you and i know this is a separate thread, but shd the hidden extras frighten me? uniform, trips ect. if we can only just meet the fees (and i mean only just) we won't have cash for very much else at all.....home or school.

metella - no, we have only been offered the one school, and while it isn't dreadful, it is poor in its teaching quality and a lot of parents pull their kids out at 7.

Sorry to hear your DH has lost his job. I take it your ds isn't at school yet? No hope of moving house to a better catchment area?

Can't really help you with the decision but just wanted to give you a snapshot of our costs.

In terms of the costs, our fees are £3000 per term per child, that includes everything - trips, lunch, books, etc. - except uniform. Fees have gone up about 5% this year.

I'd say the uniform costs about £200 per year - blazer, outdoor coat, shirts and trousers and PE kit. We're lucky in that most of our uniform (eg standard grey trousers and shirts) you can get at M and S or Asda, but you do have to pay lots for the blazer £70 and coat £30. There is a second hand shop too so I guess the cost could be reduced that way. Some schools have exclusive suppliers so be warned. Some do charge extra for things like lunches, this can mount up at say £2 per day.

I do know there are plenty of people at our school who struggle to pay the fees, so I'm sure you're not the only person feeling this dilemma. Obviously people have all sorts of reasons for making their choices, but many are trying to get their dcs into the local grammar at 11, so they figure that spending now gets them a head start.

I'd recommend that you check what is and isn't included at any school, as trips, lunches etc could really add to the cost if not included.

Wheelsonthebus - are you in a city or rural area. If you are not in an inner city surely there is a decent primary school somewhere you could drive your DCs to.

If your child is only just starting their education I would explore all state options thoroughly, as you would not want to be struggling financially for years on end. If your DH gets another job you could always send your DC to a private school at that point. How secure is your job? What would you do if you were made redundant.

In your position I would only stick with private if you were at a key stage such as GCSE or A level or if the state options were completely dire.

If the local school has had a bad ofsted maybe its weaknesses are already being addressed...often money and resources are poured in when a school is going through a bad patch.

What age is your dc? If you were planning to start private school from reception then you will get the usual nursery subsidy (worth £535 per term) and you can use childcare vouchers (assuming the school takes them - ours does). Makes a big saving the first year.

Our school fees only reach £3000 a term when you get to Year 6. Years 1 and 2 are a bit under £2500 and Years 3,4 and 5 are £2750. Obviously depends where you are, we are in the home counties. Assuming your dh will find another job eventually you may be able to manage the first year or so on one salary although I wouldn't do it long term.

I've just moved ds into the local primary and it's such a relief not to have to find the fees any more, it's like a weight has been lifted. The school's a good one and we can now go on a hoilday etc which I couldn't afford before. IME, private schools are very academically driven which is good if your child is like this. My son is very bright and loves fun, interactive learning which isn't how many private schools teach.

Nothing's set in stone, whatever you decide. Sometimes you have to try things and see if they work for you. Don't kill yourself on account of the school fees though, you'll end up resenting it in the end.

I was told a few days ago of a school where 6 children (in an already small year group) have been withdrawn in the last few weeks because parents can no longer find the fees. I think that if you hve a margin of a year's fees at any one time you should be OK, but if it's a serious struggle you should reconsider.

Would you qualify for any burseries? Have you talked to the school about this?

tangarine - that is happening a lot at our DS1 and DS2 school. The school does not know what is about to hit them with the letters that will come in at the end of this term giving the mandatory one term of notice. It is playground chit chat and peope are being quite open about it - surprisingly.

I think about 10% of the school wil leave at the end of the summer term out of what is now Yr 1 - Yr 5.

we have looked at bursaries, but they are not available for under 11s. our ds is coming up to five. we live in London. i considered going to see the head, but don't think there is much point.

Is the state school really that terrible? Where do you live? I would have thought it better to let ds start at the local school and think about going private (if you decide you still want to) when dh gets another job - surely easier for ds to do it that way round than have to pull him out of the private school when you find you can't afford it. And you never know - you might be pleasantly surprised.

If you can afford it without going into debt then I would continue sending dc until the end of the academic year at least. Your dh may find another job relatively quickly. In the meantime, can you get your dc's name down for other schools apart from the not-so-good one?

no - ds hasn't started yet, but we have to give the private school a term's notice if we don't want the place (ie about 3 weeks time). I must admit, the stress of all this is doing my head in.

Some schools near us to scholarships from age 7 but usually bursaries/scholarships are for secondary school age. As someone else mentioned here you can always check the health of a private school by looking it up on the charities commission website. Assuming of course it has charitable status (ours doesn't).

So will he start in reception or year 1. Big difference in fees between the two. Ours goes up by £500/mth once nursery and childcare vouchers go.

we could defer, but i fear he will slip behind and really struggle to get in later - was astonished he got in the first time ;)- and i don't want him to be put under pressure. i hate young kids having to prove themselves like that. at 4+, he hadn't a clue whether he was being tested by a school or was just on a rather intense play date...

How terrible can a state reception class be? Could understand it if you were talking about some sink-estate secondary school. If what other posters are saying is true about parents pulling their kids out of private schools I don't think this is a now or never decision iyswim.

mollieO - you make a good point about vouchers.

Do remember that fees increase every couple of years or so and there are added costs on top too (insurance, trips, music lessons, uniform......) just getting ds to school, me getting to work then the pick up added 1K to the bill for the first term on top of the £500 the uniform cost me etc.

The lady at the LEA laughed when I asked her if they had a lot of requests for places from parents with children in private schools "oh yes!" was the reply. I'm in derbyshire, we don't have too many private schools here so it's not going to be good.