Has anyone started down the road of private education really struggling to afford it - and if so, what happened?

[wheelsonthebus]

my dh has just lost his job. i have a bit of savings and a salary. However we will struggle hugely to do private on one salary alone. We are unhappy with the performance of the local primary state school (as is Ofsted). Do we struggle ahead with private, or just cut our losses and hope we can afford tuition if and when necessary, and try to teach our son at home after school as best we can.

Cross posts CrushWithEyeliner!

Where are you in London? Our local state primaries are good. And I am not too worried about the state secondaries either

Are you on the waiting lists for the state schools you think might be OK?

Electra - I think investing in private education is usually a good thing if you can afford to.

The OP may not be in an area with grammar schools. Therefore if she starts her DC in private education now the chances are she will be paying till 18 for school then university fees.

It is a huge financial burden and I think you need to have quite a lot of rainy day money saved up to embark on it in the current economic climate. It would not be ideal for OP to start her DC in the private sector and then have to change to state if either op lost her job or her DH didn't get another well paid job.

I think I would be tempted to give the state primary a go unless it is really dire. If OPs DC is bright they would hopefully get in to private school at 7 or 11. If they fail to get into the most competitive schools maybe the DC would not be suited to them anyway. Hopefully they would gain a place somewhere in the private sector.

if your local state primary is out of the question, have you looked at a cheaper indie. We are in North London where as well as the preps and pre-pres set in lovely grounds with fab facilities, there are some smaller preps (often in what look like converted houses) which don't have sports fields (play games in local parks), but which focus on getting children into good schools at 7+ and 11+. As this their main selling point they tend to good at it and at steering children towards the right schools. just a suggestion as these schools seem considerably cheaper than the other type.

I did the private v state debate for months before the decision was made for me. All of my friends who had chosen private had done so on the basis of going state at secondary level (grammar). The common view seemed to be that if you didn't get children interested in learning at primary age it would be too late by the time they reached secondary.

I was very much in two minds and still think that a good state school is a match for many private schools. The only big difference (at least where I live) was the very limited wrap around care available at our local state schools. That which was available was also expensive. I had the choice of state school plus CM or private school with wrap around care. The cost was pretty equal for both the one difference being that ds would be able to do the after school activities at private school which he would't be able to do at state school unless I persuaded the CM to collect at different times - hard to do when already collecting other children earlier. The one thing I've appreciated since I changed from using a CM is the flexibility. If I don't use the wrap around care I don't get charged and I can make that decision on a daily basis.

wheels- definitely try to stay on the waiting lists for the other schools you didn't get.

just how "bad" is the school that your son has been offered? is it that the resutls are bad, poor ofted, rough intake? what don't you like?

because you may be positively surprised. my dd is not in school yet, but i have made up my mind to go state, despite living in a challenging area, just because i don't think i can live with the nightmare of school fees hanging over our heads... i think it will be too bad for our family life, and that would impact the children. actually i think the schools are not as bad as they appear on paper...