Just so upset with my 8yo DD

[dfghj]

My daughters are generally very nice kids - polite well spoken and doing well at school...

Tonight i am just devastated to hear from the 8yo that as part of a circle time ddiscussion about bad language she confided in the teacher that "mummy shouts fu*king hell when she's angry".
This is total nonsense. The worst I've ever said is bloody hell and that's usually under my breath and in extreme situations. I also never really get stressed with homework as they manage it fine and I'm not some mad alpha parent!
The thought that a) my daughter has said that at school and b) the teacher will never think of me in the same light has left me horrified.
It is a small private school and I'm a regular volunteer. I feel I can't show my face ever again.
My daughter had no explanation for why she said it and is very upset.
I can't see a way back from it. 😥😥😥

Teacher will have heard worse. Far worse.

I do shout that and we all survive. It's nowhere near the end of the world.
She probably said it because someone else did.

Don't make your daughter feel upset and forget about it

There's no way I can let it pass. That would give totally the wrong message to an 8yo. She lied outright. Surely I don't let that pass?!

She's 8, she acted on impulse for some reason. Maybe others were saying similar and she just wanted to join in. Try not to dwell on it, the teacher honestly won't think anything different of you. I've heard a LOT of 'Mummy said/did xyz'. Much of it is nonsense, much of it is a one-off occasion that the child has never let their parent forget, a small amount is sadly true and accurate. But teachers are really not interested in whose parents sweat on occasion.

Don't over react or show her you are all about keeping up appearances - just say, what a strange thing to say, please don't repeat bad language you hear others say.

Your DD is already upset, she knows it was silly to lie and swear and probably feels mortified. Now she needs to know that you love her, you forgive her and she can learn from her mistake and move on.

You can't let it pass?? It's not even a thing

Christ I shout fucking hell all the time.

I really wouldn't be that bothered. You sound a little over affected by it. Your DD is 8, she probably just wanted to have 'something' to say, to get involved.

It's hardly a reason to never show your face again

I can't imagine she heard it anywhere else. She does occasionally sneak a look at my books (i.like thrillers) and might have read it there.

I explained to her that she has now pit herself in the position that if anyone else.says It she will be 'ground zero. Her own fault. A child who has never said a rude word. What a shame. I intend to punish her as I don't condone lying under any circumstances. What if the next lie was "mummy hit me"? She will have pocket money docked for a week. I wish I thought I'd feel better in such a short time.

You are seriously over reacting. She swore she didnt murder anyone
Yes she lied but children just do sometimes.

If you cant get over this how the hell will you cope when shes a teen

You what?
That's a good way to stop her telling you anything ever again.

So we just get annoyed with our kids and punish them if they commit murder? No wonder the country's going to the dogs 😉

So we just get annoyed with our kids and punish them if they commit murder? No wonder the country's going to the dogs

Umm. riiiiight

You're coming across as a complete loon

Commit murder?

😂

Stunningly, this is not dfghj's first post!

So we just get annoyed with our kids and punish them if they commit murder? No wonder the country's going to the dogs
😉

Yes OP thats exactly what we do

How come you know this information?

Did you ask her where she heard the words?

Do you never say it at all? She may of heard when you thought she wasn't listening? An argument with Dh ? on the phone?

I think your putting way to much pressure on her being some kind of perfect child.

She is a impulsive child - just like all of them. She probably picked it up in school, out playing etc.. she probably bitterly regrets it and your making the issue in to a nasty one.

My brother told his teacher once that is dad stuck pins in his eyes (my brothers eyes) all nonsense of course but kids make shit up.

Don't try and 'make' a perfect child, it will be claustrophobic and you will cause a lot of self esteem issues.

Children are not perfect and neither are YOU ...

I think she probably wishes you would shout fucking hell and loosen up a bit

My ds told his reception teacher that we never let him eat breakfast..........and dh's Aunt was head of social services in our town at the time .

Teacher may well shout fucking hell at home too. I've been known to, and my children have grown up pretty well. It's not the end of the world. I only ever believe a small amount of what children tell me about their parents and I certainly don't judge.

She wasn't swearing, she was quoting someone else who used a swear word.

Get a life OP. You're not going to cope with having a teenager, or she'll leave home at 14 because of the pressure to be perfect.