is it normal for seperated parents to request seperate appointments for parents evening?

[workshy]

and will schools normally accommodate the request?

my ex and I can't even bear to look at each other and niether of us trusts the other to relay the info accurately

I have some questions I want to ask about G&T DD1 and high schools but don't feel able to ask these things infront of her dad

would it be odd if I let him go to parents evening and then made another appointment with the teachers for me?

I dare say that in special circumstances they'd make two appointments, but I don't think it's typical. It would create a lot of extra work for the teachers if they had to do this.

DH always attended parents evenings with his ExW.

I've done this occasionally. Schools are obliged to accomodate this request, and you can receive two end of year reports aswell.

Perfectly normal - ring the school and explain, I'm sure they will accomodate you - I have a list of 'other parents' to ring for occasions such as this

Hmm, my STBXH left in Sept, I certainly couldn't sit through a parents' evening with him. This time I've chickened out and not told him when they are. Can't do that every time, though, not fair on the kids, but he never came to that many even before. I'll watch this thread with interest.

Crossed posts, that sounds more positive, thanks.

We tried a joint one the first time.

He argued with the teacher for the whole 10 minutes. I didn't get a word in.

Never again. Separate ones all the way now and the school are fine.

We do separate ones in this kind of situation. It's fine.

The schools my DCs attend do not allow duplicate appts for more than one set of interested parties. You have to figure out between yourselves who will go or go together to the meetings.

With the DCs, I am the one who does it every year. exH doesn't follow the time rules, makes a nuisance of himself expecting special treatment, tries to teach the teachers how to suck eggs, and focuses relentlessly on the negative with the DCs afterwards.

My ex and I have been doing separate appointments for 10 years. Schools deal with LOTS of different situations and circumstances (from separated parrents to social services, parents who live or work abroad, forces parents, shift workers who can't make it on the night etc., etc., ) and any school (or teacher) who suggests it's unreasonable to accomodate a child's parents is kind of missing the point of their function. A headteacher, head of year, class teacher or whatever should more or less always be available within 48 hrs notice to see you for any reason so either side of parents' evening just make an appointment with whoever you need to see. Never agree that you are being unreasonable. Never agree to "no" as an answer from a school.

I would say they should do it - as a teacher I always have, and never heard of a school that would say no.

I think my DCs' schools assume that the parties will share information between themselves. I have to say, they are always available for email communication, always return phone calls very promptly, and they even call me if there's any cause for concern if a situation seems to be going on for a week or so (concepts in maths that seem to be going over someone's head for instance, or two missed homework assignments in a row). Actually, I think that the idea of a single parent teacher night should really be obsolete for the DCs' schools.

Sorry to sound mean, but I think it's pretty sad that 2 adults (for that is what you are) are incapable of spending 10 minutes together to support your child.

Your not my mum, she doesn't have the internet.

Of course you are entitled to two separate interviews, I do them if it's the most efficient way to see parents without other issues getting in the way of the discussion.

You're

Shouldn't post before my second cup of coffee.

It isn't unusual for separated parents to ask for different appointments (I normally try to see them on different days if that is what they wish). Some absent parents ask for telephone consultations ... I'm just pleased when parents are interested enough to ask.

I also do separate reports for some families

Rather than send two copies? Why?

If a parent sees a child once or twice a year it isn't particularly relevant to say they need to practise their reading every night or that their homework hasn't been done all year. It just fuels conflict.

Quite normal. It depends on the parents, some come together but there isn't much point if you can't get on.

We always give identical copies of the report to both parents to avoid any accusations of misinformation or discrimination mrz.

Schools should say yes to this sort of thing - dd's school certainly accommodated a request from a separated parent in her class.

It's hard to manage the flow of information between separated parents - we often miss out on reports etc and as a result know a lot less about dss's school life than we would like. You shouldn't have to work hard to find out basic information about your own child.

DownbytheRiverside all the relevant information is identical - levels - targets - next terms topic... but the parent with whom the child resides has comments regarding day to day support. Pretty pointless asking an absent parent to ensure their child reads daily or to make sure they have their swimming kit on a Friday if they only see the child for two holidays a year.