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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is the baby mine?

97 replies

New93 · 12/11/2020 04:32

Recently I found out I’m going to be a dad the only problem is the dates don’t match up... on 3rd November she had her first scan and was told she was 6 weeks. Problem is the last time we had sex was 12th September which would leave a 2 week gap... and to make things worse anytime I bring it up she gets mad and try’s to avoid answering any questions to do with it simply saying it is 100% mine and I don’t have to worry. She doesn’t want me at the scan either which makes it even more strange... my question is am I right on thinking these dates don’t add up as I’m now concerned she has been unfaithful and the child’s not mine because of the 2 week gap. yes once the baby is born the first thing I will do is get a dna test but till then is she correct that I’m worrying over nothing or am I right to worry because of the dates ?

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calimommy · 12/11/2020 04:42

Ok, every pregnancy is dated to the first day of the last period. Because it is very difficult to pinpoint exactly when ovulation occurs a pregnancy is dated by what is known -the period. So technically you get two 'free weeks' which are weeks when it is not possible for any woman to be pregnant but that's just how it's done. So by 40 weeks a woman has only really been pregnant for 38 weeks.

calimommy · 12/11/2020 04:43

I have no idea if the baby is yours, but the two week issue is fully above board.

JanetPudding · 12/11/2020 04:45

6 weeks would mean conception on or around October 6th and her last period starting September 22nd.

mikkyr · 12/11/2020 04:45

@calimommy

Ok, every pregnancy is dated to the first day of the last period. Because it is very difficult to pinpoint exactly when ovulation occurs a pregnancy is dated by what is known -the period. So technically you get two 'free weeks' which are weeks when it is not possible for any woman to be pregnant but that's just how it's done. So by 40 weeks a woman has only really been pregnant for 38 weeks.
This ⬆️
Original poster
New93 · 12/11/2020 04:47

So is she correct then that I am worrying about nothing and it really is mine and will the 12 week scan be more accurate

OP posts:
MountainPeakGeek · 12/11/2020 04:52

What JanetPudding said. There is a 2 week discrepancy between how long ago a woman conceived and how many weeks pregnant they're considered to be, but it's actually in the wrong direction to account for the possible conception date you're hoping to reconcile. A dating scan that says "6 weeks" means conception occured ~4 weeks prior to the scan.

ChikiTIKI · 12/11/2020 04:53

I don't think the problem is accuracy though is it?

When the period is due (but doesn't come because of pregnancy) at that point it's said the woman is 4 weeks pregnant but usually she ovulated 2 weeks before that.

Does she often cheat on you?

NoahsArk17 · 12/11/2020 04:54

Yes there's the weird 2 week calculation rule but she would have been around 9+ weeks at the scan on 3rd Nov?

MountainPeakGeek · 12/11/2020 04:56

For her to have been 6 weeks at that scan date the baby would have to have been conceived around the 6th October. Sorry Sad

Original poster
New93 · 12/11/2020 04:59

Not that I’m aware of but with how she has been acting about everything I get the feeling she has and now don’t think the baby’s mine

OP posts:
MountainPeakGeek · 12/11/2020 05:00

@NoahsArk17

Yes there's the weird 2 week calculation rule but she would have been around 9+ weeks at the scan on 3rd Nov?
Yep. Would have been 9w+3d pregnant at that scan if conception date was 12th September...
itsmschanandlerbong · 12/11/2020 05:02

@New93

Not that I’m aware of but with how she has been acting about everything I get the feeling she has and now don’t think the baby’s mine
Maybe she's acting that way with you because you have accused her of cheating?
Nomaigai · 12/11/2020 05:03

OP, what people are saying is that you're right and the dates don't match up. It's actually worse than you were thinking - the scan date is 4 weeks too late if you last had sex on 12th September.

It is of course possible for the scan to be wrong but it would be very unusual for a 12 week scan to be that wrong (as in an actual mistake). Are you very sure of your dates? Have you had sexual contact with her at all since 12 September?

It's a serious accusation but you are not unreasonable to question it. That plus her being cadgey... If you were my friend I'd be saying you should ask for a paternity test.

Original poster
New93 · 12/11/2020 05:04

Yes but it’s only because the dates don’t add up

OP posts:
MountainPeakGeek · 12/11/2020 05:04

Maybe she's acting that way with you because you have accused her of cheating?

With good reason!

Original poster
New93 · 12/11/2020 05:06

Yes the 12th was the last time we had sex as it was the last time I saw her because we live long distance

OP posts:
Nomaigai · 12/11/2020 05:07

Maybe she's acting that way with you because you have accused her of cheating?

Well given how off her dates are it's not an unreasonable question. She's not trying to explain it 'scan must be wrong' or 'you've forgotten that time you were drunk and we were playing around' or even offering to do a paternity test. She's just saying 'you're the father, accept it'.

Nomaigai · 12/11/2020 05:07

@Nomaigai

OP, what people are saying is that you're right and the dates don't match up. It's actually worse than you were thinking - the scan date is 4 weeks too late if you last had sex on 12th September.

It is of course possible for the scan to be wrong but it would be very unusual for a 12 week scan to be that wrong (as in an actual mistake). Are you very sure of your dates? Have you had sexual contact with her at all since 12 September?

It's a serious accusation but you are not unreasonable to question it. That plus her being cadgey... If you were my friend I'd be saying you should ask for a paternity test.

Sorry I don't mean 12 week scan of course - it's even earlier than that. Same point on accuracy.
Nomaigai · 12/11/2020 05:08

@New93

Yes the 12th was the last time we had sex as it was the last time I saw her because we live long distance
I'm sorry, she's almost certainly lying to you. Insist on a paternity test.
MountainPeakGeek · 12/11/2020 05:13

Did she indicate that the sonographer thought everything looked okay at the scan? A non-cheating possibility would be if the fetus had stopped developing at ~6 weeks, but I don't know how likely that is to be missed by the sonographer?

Original poster
New93 · 12/11/2020 05:18

@MountainPeakGeek no she never mentioned anything like that, just going to have to face the fact the baby ain’t mine

OP posts:
Terriblecreature · 12/11/2020 05:19

Don't know if this will help explain, just backing up what the PP are saying.

So on the 1st day of my kissed period I took a pregnancy test, which was positive and made me 4 weeks pregnant. However, I knew when I had sex and I knew the exact date I ovulate, which was 2 weeks prior. Not 4 weeks. The pregnancy is counted based on the previous period not necessarily when u had sex.

Hope this makes sense? It probably does tie up with ur dates but I hope you and baby mama are able to sort any issues u have x

Namechangeme87 · 12/11/2020 05:25

Hmmm

As others have said it goes from last period which would be roughly the 21st of September ...

And you had sex what nine days before then ?
Are her periods regular maybe she didn’t have a proper Period then ?

Sperm can live up to 7 days inside before fertilizing an egg

Also the scan - was she exactly 6 days or for example 6 weeks 4 days ?

I don’t think it’s impossible that the baby is yours ??

Namechangeme87 · 12/11/2020 05:26

Sorry meant a 6 weeks not 6 Days above .

Gingerkittykat · 12/11/2020 05:29

How old are you both?

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