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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

Will strawberry blonde/'ginger' hair stay?- upset!

65 replies

Bluberry · 12/03/2013 02:43

My beautiful baby girl was born with red/'ginger' or strawberry blonde hair. In some lights it looks really fair and in others light brown but today it started looking quite red.
My husband and I are quite dark but I understand the red gene must be in our genes somewhere. My step daughter has bright red hair so it wasnt a complete shock but I didn't realise my family had the gene either so wasn't expecting it really. My step daughter was born with fiery red hair but my daughters is lighter.

I just feel so worried and upset that she may be open to bullies. People are already commenting on it and using the word 'ginger' which I think is hurtful.

Does anyone else have a red head and how does it make you feel?
Did anyone's baby's hair colour change from red to blonde or brown?

I don't want to cause offence.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ripsishere · 12/03/2013 02:49

No such thing as strawberry blonde. It's pale ginger that is all (my friend with a pale ginger told me so it must be true)
I don't have red hair, nor does my DD. she was virtually albino for ages, but now is a mousy dull brownish color.
Red hair is lovely, I don't know any here (KL), but at her last school there was one boy with properly firry red hair. He was terribly popular with the girls and didn't suffer name calling.
Enjoy your DD.

ripsishere · 12/03/2013 02:49

not firry, fiery

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/03/2013 02:53

A couple of things. DD's hair was dark when she was born, then red, now blonde. I have strawberry blonde/light red hair and my DF is red. So, you never know.

Second thing... she will have a hard time from someone for something. Hair, spots, fat, big ears, liking books, who knows. Your job is to give her the love and confidence to guide her through dealing with this. Don't try to avoid the things that focus bullies. That's impossible. Just give her a big set of amour made of confidence and love. She'll be fine, red hair or not.

Original poster

Bluberry · 12/03/2013 03:07

Thanks. Yes I said to my husband that kids will find something sign anyone to pick on. You're right about the confidence too.

OP posts:

Cosmostocupcakes · 12/03/2013 03:35

I am strawberry bonde naturally but darker as I got older/my husband is auburn - my son has the most amazing and beautiful red/golden hair - I am beyond in love with it - it completely suit's his mischievous nature. My daughers looks like it will be slightly dark and although have red in it not quite as amazing!

I don't think it is as rare to have red hair nowadays. And to be bullied for it? deal with it if it happens.

Ginger is not insulting. Its a colour...

SheepNoisesOff · 12/03/2013 03:52

I have red hair. It's not a handicap, honest. And plenty of people without red jaar are bullied.

I think you are letting your own prejudices get in the way here. My 3mo DD seems to have a red tint to her hair. Am I worried? [Grin] No, just curious and impatient to see what it will turn out like!

Original poster

Bluberry · 12/03/2013 03:57

It's not necessarily my own prejudices- my dsd was bullied for having red hair so I know how it is a target for children and worry my child will also have to put up with it.

OP posts:

wannabedomesticgoddess · 12/03/2013 03:58

The most beautiful person I know has light ginger hair. Her hair is stunning and always being commented on.

Obviously there will be some idiots who engage mouth before brain, but I agree with PP. You need to forget what bullies might target and instead, strive to bring up a confident girl who believes in herself.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 12/03/2013 03:58

My delightful Ds1 who is 10 has the most beautiful bright orange hair. It is indescribably distinctive and wonderful.

He has never been teased and he loves his hair.

TBH when ds1 was a baby he got so much more attention because of his fiery hair colour, most people love a ginger baby!

I have ginger hair, no where near as bright as ds1's but its still ginger. I got teased but about many things, not just my hair colour. Now, I love my hair and have done for years.

Honestly, be proud, ginger is something to celebrate not commiserate!

SpeccyBat · 12/03/2013 04:32

DD (7) has ginger hair. It's pure orange. Her eyebrows are the same shade, as is her eyelashes. It's long with her, with a fine texture and a gentle curl.

When she runs, she looks like she has a flame behind her. It's very striking. And it's ginger, not red.

So my advice would be to grow it to a style that suits her and suits the texture of her hair. If it's going to be prone to frizz there are products to ease that. If it's going to be really thick and thatchy, get a good cut etc etc. Shape the hair.

And make sure you shape her. Arm her with confidence. My DD is quite vulnerable really in other ways and can be quite 'geeky'. So we celebrate this and make her aware that people can often pick on things that make us different. She's only ever had compliments though.

I hope her colouring NEVER changes. I love it. Don't let your hang ups or prejudices cloud her mind. Start thinking and talking more positively about it from this moment on. You'll be surprised what our children pick up from us, no matter how young. You don't want her to start seeing her hair as a negative thing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/03/2013 04:34

You could do what the parents of a friend of my DH's did. Stuck their DD in martial arts. She is now a fiery red-haired, fit, black belt. No one bullies her and she certainly doesn't go short of dates. Even black belt DH is a bit scared of her

Beamur · 12/03/2013 04:39

My DD also has red/ginger hair - whatever you want to call it. It's beautiful and glorious! I think I've only heard one person make a vaguely uncomplimentary remark and to be honest he was a proper grumpy old man who I doubt has a nice word for anyone.
I worry that she will be teased at some point about it, but I can't stop that from happening - so all I can do, like others have said, is to help her have good self esteem and deal with it if and when it happens.
Hers is also very bright, she is 6 now and it hasn't dulled at all. Neither me or my DP have red hair, but my Dad does - it often skips a generation if you don't have 2 parents with red hair themselves. His was bright ginger as a child but has grown darker over the years and is a chestnut brown now.

Lavenderhoney · 12/03/2013 05:03

Me and dh are dark and we have a redhead:) its getting darker now, and he has dark blue eyes. In fact, it's more that people always, since he was a baby, have commented on his fabulous hair:) recently, and he is 6, a boy in his class said ds hair is the most amazing colour ESP when the light is on it. Ds says " it's just hair" my dd is not a red head.

The only adverse comment we had was a woman who looked at me and dh, then at ds, and loudly asked if he was adopted or had a different father as he couldn't be dh's.

McGilly · 12/03/2013 05:12

Is this concern about ginger teasing a very British thing?

My ds2 - 1 yo. - has flaming golden red hair. No idea where from. It attracts so much attention, all of it positive. My only concern is that his good looks overshadow his siblings.

McGilly · 12/03/2013 05:13

Meant to add - sons hair has not changed in his first year, and we really hope it stays. It's a thing of beauty.

Beamur · 12/03/2013 05:15

I think ginger-bashing is quite a British thing, one of the last bastions of 'acceptable' prejudice!

McGilly · 12/03/2013 05:18

Without getting too personal OP, it might be a nice thing for DD to have in common with your DSD?

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/03/2013 13:32

Not a British thing. My Scottish family think red hair is great, it's a badge of pride. Maybe an English thing. I don't know about the Welsh or Northern Irish...

Beamur · 12/03/2013 22:46

I've wondered if it has some roots in the Celtic divisions/history in the UK...
My DD would fit in a treat in Scotland, she has a fine Scottish surname too thanks to my DP's family.

neolara · 12/03/2013 22:50

My dd has a friend at school who started off in reception with bright ginger hair. The friend is now 8 and her hair has mellowed into the most stunning dark auburn - it's truly wonderful. She is a very lucky girl!

LemonPeculiarJones · 12/03/2013 22:57

I've got red hair and apart from the odd catcall of 'Duracell!!!' from a couple of the dafter boys at school, which I didn't even mind really, I've had such a lovely time being red

Honestly, by the time she hits sixteen she'll be inundated with compliments about her Pre-Raphaelite locks.

Make her feel beautiful and give her confidence in who she is. And enjoy your gorgeous daughter!

Cien · 12/03/2013 23:05

I was born ginger and am now a genuine natural blond.

My sister was born fair and is now light ginger.

My DSs were born carrot tops and have stayed that way. There are much worse things that could have happened.

DS1 came home very pleased with himself yesterday - the history teacher has told him he must have some (fierce) Celtic blood in him.

DS2 is pleased he won't have to dye his hair on Friday (wacky red hairstyles for Comic Relief)

RatPants · 12/03/2013 23:10

My nephew had red hair when he was younger and now aged 9 he is almost as dark as me (which is very!).

steppemum · 12/03/2013 23:12

my ds has very bright red hair and I love it. he is very good looking, but he hates it and gets teased. He is very sensitive over it.

My niece also has red hair, pale ginger, it has gone slightly darker and redder as she has got older. Her hair is GORGEOUS. Thick wavy masses of reddish hair. Very pretty. She isn't teased, most people just think she is gorgeous.

I think it might be easier for girls.

If you are worried about it, you will give her a complex. Be positive and tell her how beautiful it is and how lucky she is to be a bit different

SecretNutellaFix · 12/03/2013 23:12

I had red hair as a small child, darkened when I was around 3 until it is nearly black with white streaks at 33.

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