The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

I brought him into bed with us, quick feed and we were all snoozeville til 830 ish, which is good but means my planned riding this morning has not happened. However looking at the rotten weather I'm thinking it was a blessing in disguise! Despite getting back to sleep I'm still massively knackered and between us MB and I need some serious work done on the dark circles under our eyes.

costa are you planning any more wins? Or is the sechs purely recreational?!

Sechs? For recreational purposes? Silv none of us will see our teenage years again. We tried to do it downstairs the other month, couldn't get comfy so went up to bed like old normals.

pols I hope these new tablets are the biz.

just had a lovely day with polly and fanny, boo and *bonnie. It was even sunny!

Well jel casp! I've been soaked, had the worst nappies for ages (perhaps due to the gin I consumed yday) and also been a tad bored.

Now for a night in. Bet there is naff all on the box. Mildred Pierce is ok though.

Hello gels, sorry to have not been around much. Hope you had a fab birthday Silver... sorry for delayed wishes. Night in front of the box sounds like just the thing.

Polly sorry to hear you are feeling down in the dumps a bit. Hope dr's prescription sorts you out...

Cosmosis your night sounds great! We are STILL doing the 1030 feed. I'm too scared to drop it!

Alps how are you faring? Hope no nausea yet and all well in that department? Do you feel the same as before?

We are all ok this end. Babymoo's first two teeth were easy but I suspect the rest that are coming might not be. We've had the first few screamers waking him at around 9pm but thanks to good ole Calpol seems to settle. He's definitely more wakeful at night I guess due to teeth but thank the lord he seems to resettle and we haven't had to get up too much. The crawling is hilarious - he's getting faster by the day: in the dog bowl, falling down the step, hands everywhere. I seriously need to baby proof the house. In other news upping the childcare so I can do more work come Sept. More like 4 days a week, but still from home so not that bad I suppose. FEel a bit funny giving up my time with him, but I have to so better get used to it.

Anyway just wanted to drop in for a quick gin, will fuck off again now.

Who the hell was that woman who TOTALLY missed point of fred?!!!

hello, Honey, welcome back.

haha, loving the totally random misinterpretation of the OP :o

poo sorry to hear you have been in the dark place again, hope the docs have sorted you out with more effective happy pillz. Impressive fines there.

Hello, moo life sounds ever hectic with you. Hope this/next months 'project' is going well? Ta for the gin

Good news on the sleep break though muse

curlysue your day sounds as lovely as mine was!

I know its way too early to be expecting any routine in the Leaf household but Sprout lulled us into a false sense of security last week by being really regular, then since the super snooze a few nights ago it gone totally to pot which has knackered us a bit. Last night she woke at 1.30 am which she hasn't done for weeks so we are a wee bit out of sorts today. She keeps wanting to sleep late afternoon which I think is messing things up but what can you do? We've tried putting her to bed a bit later this evening (still awake from the sound of the monitor, I think) just because we got back a bit later so will see what that does. Lovely day today meeting her future BFF who is just 10 days old, so weird seeing a newborn and realising just how much Sprout has grown, she is just getting into the 0-3 m stuff now, I might actually have to buy her some new clothes.

Hello Moo hope all's going well with you.

Have been to SIL's today. OH said 'we'll be going for a walk when we get there, do you need me to pack anything?' So I said 'yes, a book.' Obv I am not walking anywhere at the moment, especially not on a wet and windy weekend in suburbia. So off he tootles, comes back 5 minutes later and says 'OK you can get in the car now.' I way 'have you packed a cardy for LG?' He huffs. We get in the car. In the car we have a huge row about me asking if he had packed the stuff we need (I thought I was being helpful, he says I was checking his homework,) topped off with a massive argy-bargy about whether checking the weather on his iPhone whilst driving his family about in shitty rainy weather was an appropriate thing to do, especially given that he didn't seem to have put LG in the car seat properly. Aaaaaanyway, we get to SILs, they all go out for a walk, I ask for my book, he says 'where did you put it?' Put it? PUT IT?????? I didn't fucking put it anywhere - I thought you had put it in the bag. I can't put anything anywhere - both hands are full of crutches atm. How could I have put it anywhere? Point well made though, about me needing to check he has packed bags correctly. And then when they went out for a walk in the rain he forgot to put the aforementioned cardy on LG anyway and LG came back wearing his cousin's pink fleece.

And breathe!

Anyway. Cunty have you seen this thread? Have you had The Email? If not, do you feel left out?

Helloo everybody

Back from hollibobs & had an excellent time. New tent was ace - LC cried when we took it down. Worth every penny. In fact MrCluck pointed out that had we hoteled this holiday it would have cost us over a grand so that makes us break-even on the tent, non?!

Have been lurking while I've been away but t'internet signal has been too patchy to post. Shant namecheck as I know I'll offend by missing someone out but triffic to hear of good hospital news, legs on the mend, birthdays etc. Not so good on the darkness, bereavements and wakeful babies (mine included).

Did the survey and was a bit to see that blowjobs warrant a £5 fine yet not a mention of bumsex. Seems we really are a nation of prudes.

So, while we've been away BC has decided he's really ready for some grub and launches onto every sandwich, crisp and bit of cake he can get at. Bit annoying as this week was going to be spent getting him off the boob as I want my body back and suspect doing both might be a bit problematic, no?

Welcome home Kate!

HI kate! Sounds like you had a great time.

I've had such a busy weekend I am now stuck in a tired, headachey fog. Please someone to take my child while I get my head down? No? Oh well...

Squeaks had made it from the sofa to the tv on her feet - upright at both ends! I think it's fair to say she is now walking! Watch out dog

I can totally vouch for the amazing walking Squeaks. I witnessed it yesterday!

Thanks to the lovely menkul crew for the fab day out. I even got sunburned.
pollypoo - Bonnie is raving about her new friend! I am also a bit smitten by your beautiful girl.

MrP finally took Clyde to the doctor this morning, confirming a horrible throat infection. Yay - more antibiotics.

I'm FURIOUS!!!!!!!!! Men are absolute ignorant dicks.

So HI changes MB whilst we are his mum's. On the way home I discover the change bag is dripping wet as is the seat it's on. And do you know why? Cos twat face fucking shoved the mat back in, totally pushing the water cup upside down and to the bottom of the bag. I know have four new nappies ruined, MBs red book ruined, a card for chums who've laid, the spare clothes. Every fucking thing.

His response "you only had to tell me the water was in there".

I'm sorry you'd have to be blind to miss it.

Once again fucking ignorant man syndrome. No forward thinking - don't expect them to think for themselves it use initiative.

I'm so cross. Hard to tell I know!!!!

So pleased to hear of another top ESH meet. Nice one laydees.

Welcome back chick&herbrood! Sounds like camping in the Harrods tent was a success.

box I hear you on the man front. Useless they are. Obviously I am now not talking to HI for fear of doing him harm. My change nag and it's contents are drying out in the kitchen.

Purely recreational silv. I would love another win but am not currently allowed.

Am at work this morning for a rest. DIY plus baby really doesn?t work. Artie really really doesn?t like the sound of the drill.

Jelus of ESHmeet. You have stolen my ESH. fanny i miiiiisssss yooooouuuuuu.

cosytoes I miss you toooo!!! How can I come up with an excuse for a trip to Yorkshireland?

Should have said that the div of a Hi would have seen the water cup when he first opened the bag, hence why I'm !

cos never allowed or purely at the mo?

I too am green with envy at the ESH meet.

The Kur was a success, and it wasn't. Laura GermanName came 2nd which was pretty good, but, dare I say it when I know pants all about dressage, it was "boring" and "safe". Technically brilliant it may well have been, but it was dull. Anyway, as suspected I didn't get home until nearly 2am. :( to the nth degree. I slept until 2:30pm yesterday and went back to bed at 7am. Am a massive vomming mess of tiredness. I also seem to have acquired the shits which is odd given I've not eaten since saturday.

moo I still do the 9:30 feed, think if we drop it he'll demand it at 3am and don't know how/where to fit it in to the day time - he eats/drinks pretty much solidly from 7-7 - then there's naps, how do you fit in another bottle in that time?

silv Don't even go there. They are useless arseholes. Wankface offered to pick me up on saturday night so I didn't have to drive in the dark tired. There's a diversion. I told him NOT to take it. He was in GERMANY (!) before he realised he'd gone wrong, so rather than go cross-country he drove all the way home and tried again with a "fail safe" route. Twatting cunt. I mean seriously, do you really have to cross a border before you know you've gone wrong? Fine behaviour from someone who claims he can read maps & has a good sense of direction from being in the army...

kate Badminton & Mary King stuff in the sale at Joules.

curly I'm going to say it all wrong now and will probably be terribly un-PC, but personally I don't think there's anything "seriously wrong" with Squeaker. From what I saw she is an extremely feisty young thing - hardly Hindley Earnshaw!

silv just at the mo, which is most annoying as previously we had agreed to Re-Pesh at around now. he has got the finiancial jitters though.

Dammit Alps, don't tempt me. Some lovely stuff for LC on there too - she looks good in Joules she does. Sorry to hear of the runny bum, like you need another thing to contend with.

Laughing at the blokey antics....seriously, how do they manage to get it so wrong. If we didn't need them to make babies they surely wouldn't exist what with survival of the fittest an' all.

Right, must scoot. Have spotted a line of snot in my cleavage which needs attention - no idea whose it is or how it got there

Alps laughing at lost JB. OH once managed to accidently drive across the Humber Bridge on his way to pick me up, and then didn't have enough money to drive back again. Tis amazing, he could navigate his way round the whole country if you told him the names of the cricket pitches en route. Ask him to drive a route he has done regularly for a few years and he could still get lost though.

Ironically I have come to sing the praises of my bloke. While he can get it spectacularly wrong he was a true star yesterday. I woke up, fed baby and he took her off to get dressed. During this process I fell asleep. So he took her into living room and entertained her. Next thing I knew he was in the room putting his shoes on. "I'm taking her for a walk, go back to sleep". So I did.

I got a 3 hour lie in! Blissful. Means I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm fairly sure he picked up the wrong blind for the nursery as the new one definitely isn't a blackout blind. Do we think I could glue blackout lining to it? I need to line the curtain that covers the door.

Glad you have lovely holibobs clucky and the gold plated tent pegs held out

at the thought of toddling Squeaks! at the thought of having to toddler proof.

Sympathy for the useless HI silvs I would be most gutted about the red book :( Jury is still out on TB as its still early days, he is brilliant with the fun stuff but given the choice would far rather do house chores and leave the baby chores to me although he has started to help with bath time which is good. And he has the same propensity to claim ignorance which is really annoying. Do they think we were born knowing how to do this stuff? Well, he is going to be left to deal with it this evening so he'll just have to mum man up, hopefully Sprout will be her usual mellow self.

alcappone sorry you are feeling so crappy still, although laughing at JB ending up in Germany. Sounds very familiar (this is why I bought TB sat nav for xmas a few years ago)

Also of ESHmeet, what happened to the mooted one in the town of Hollyoaks this month?

rocket He was using satnav. :( But is frightened to "override" it when there's a diversion or YOU"RE IN THE WRONG FUCKING COUNTRY!

Oh good lord. :o We ended up taking an hour long detour via Altringham because I had turned the sound off once, he missed the motorway interchange and we couldn't turn back due to a crash on the other side. It would appear TB is not capable of looking from one thing to another (ie: road and sat nav) or seeing the dirty great signs saying M6 THAT WAY whilst driving. He tends to drive in a straight line unless someone (me or the SN) tells him otherwise. TBF I think it was only his 3rd of 4th time on the motorway and I hadn't been paying attention either.

muse I feel a bit bad now as he did let me have a lovely lie in yesterday morning even though he wasn't feeling well.