The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

Well I might be telling tales but curly tried to drive through a river on the way to the ESHmeet because the satnav told her to!

MrP is OK. But is it OK to complain about his behaviour on Saturday while I was out? He stayed home with poorly Clyde, and his one job was to take him to the ah docs. He also insisted on cooking dinner for us and told me to leave it all to him. Fine.

When I phoned him at 3:30 pm he had only just called the doctor! And because Clyde wasn't as screamy and feverish as he had been during the night he decided not to make an appointment after all. Why?!

It turns out that he spent the day cleaning the house, and making a four hour spag bol. All very nice, but it was almost like he was saying 'See what I've done in one day with Clyde - how come you don't manage to do the cleaning on your days?'
(Or I could be overreacting and should be grateful for tidy house and clean floors.)

Then in the middle of the night when Clyde was screaming with pain, burning fever, etc he announces 'This is really serious - we need to take him to A&E now.' At 1:30 am. Grrrr. So why didn't you fucking take him during the day you knob!!

That's why I made him take him first thing Sunday morning. And breathe.

fantastic you are being totally reasonable!! HI does that too - "I've done the floors, the washing, walked the dog, seen to MB and everyfink" which is accompanied by that face you just wanna slap. If I were to tell him it's not a competition he always agrees and says the only person making me feel bad/inadequate or useless is me.

He's coming home to a mess today. Why? Cos I can't be arses to do nothing. I'm exhausted. Again cos he uses me as his personal alarm clock.

Alp shocking. Truly shocking.

Cas walking! Brilliant but scary! Where had the time gone?

Topping ideas for toast/bread anyone?

I have a new laptop! Yeah! Work called and said there was a new one in the office for me I may not have much of a job to go back to but they have sorted out a new laptop... weird.

Anyway, sorry to hear of illnesses and wallows in the pit. Here, have this fucking massive champagne cocktail to help.

Talking about men trying to help I came in this morning from dropping mini Oke at nursery and Mr C said Peppa is enjoying her toast this morning. It is probably to do with amount of honey I put on it. Thankfully I am not PFB or PSB about an 8 month old having honey. I too got a lie in yesterday Muse. First one in ages but since Peppa has been up approx. 3 times a night for the last week or so I think I deserve it. She still has no teeth so I am expecting to see one or two appear any day now as she is being a grumpy mare.

Alps Mr C can't even get to the end of our road properly. We will be heading off to my brothers (who lives very close to Moo so literally 5 mins away) and he will take a wrong turn at the end of the road. Then he says he relies on "twat nav" (ie me) to guide him anywhere. When I criticise he says "you drive", then we have a row. Dick. He hates to admit I am a better driver, better at parking and have a better sense of direction. I should drive but why should I all the time?

When I say I got a lie in - Mr C took both children downstairs and plonked them in front of the tv and dozed on the sofa.

FP is clyde ok?

I am currently making a 4 hour bolognaise but it is for the kids and not for us.

Psssst! kate Joules are now doing free P&P. It's like they're sucking us in. :(

okie Have they said anything more about what's happening with the company for when you go back?

I have an interview on friday in amsterdam for another job - with my company, but different work and not tied to one hateful account. Finger's crossed!

Ooh good luck Alps. Just don't go to interview via a coffee shop .
No clue what is going on with work. I am just letting them cock up on not informing me about anything so I may have a bit of case for compensation if they lay me off. I have a new laptop though which is nice for now, and a car and a phone which they are paying for and I am getting all my ailments sorted on the rather extravagant private healthcare they provide me with.

okes Yes, Clyde is OK now thanks. The nights are the worst but the antibiotics are now starting to kick in, thank Alan. It's a really nasty gurgly throat infection. i.e. exactly what I told MrP it was when I left him in charge.

alps Good luck to you! Use my fab interview technique (i.e. forget everything you've ever known, gibber like an idiot) and you'll walk it.

Any success looking for a nanny fans?

Good luck alpro

Good luck Alps - do they know you are diffed?

Good to hear Clyde's alright FP, hope Squeaks is too Curls.

box I can't believe your leg!! How on earth have I missed this! Saw pic on FB. JAYSUS woman, what did you do?

Cluck to line of snot in cleavage.

Alps soz you are feeling shite. Hilarious about shit nav. Good luck with interview bird.

muser your man sounds ace. Does he do lessons?

okie I have exactly the same troubles - driving, looking after children whilst watching TV/on laptop etc etc. Causes no end of rows - poor child thinks our laptops are other members of the family I reckon. Still no news on job situ then...

I have some fairly, er, surprising news which I feel is only right to be aired here. I erm, happen to be updiffed!!! By nearly 5 weeks. It turns out our holiday shag in France was slightly more successful than we realised! Only found out last week and I have to say I am completely GOBSMACKED, but getting used to the idea day by day! 16 months apart - please tell me it will be fine?!!!! Still such early days so hopefully all will be well.... Due on 21 March I think... a month behind Alps!!!!

As you were.

OH MY FUCKING WOTSIT Moo! I didn't see that coming! Muchos pleased for you both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How exciting!!!!!!

CS gals on second/third wins - is troo you have to wait a year between wins due to CS? Or is that load of ole shite?

Holy crap moo, massive congrats. There's about that gap between my siblings and they had a fab relationship growing up. It'll be amazing.

moo!!!! Congratulations!!!!! You loon!

Sorry, that was a bit brief. just saw your txt and had to comment.. cant really send text back at 2.45 in morning. Chuffed for you both! Did they not teach you that shagging could result in getting diffed?

Wow, moo, congratulations. That he fantastic news!

Woah moo! Massive congratulations! It will all be fine I promise. I've had a shitload of negativity from people who haven't actually "done it", but those I've spoken to who do have a small gap say it's wonderful and that the children grow up together. Always in my mind was that it would be madness to wait until life is "normal" before upturning the apple cart again. :) So glad someone else is in this with me. Obviously you drank waaaaay too much wine, ate stinky cheeses & pates right?

kate they don't know I'm diffed - do you think it's "fair" to admit it should they offer me the position? I think it's ethically correct to do so but I might be the only person out there in the word with such bonkers views.

fanny She's not particularly fluent in English - which pretty much guarantees I'll go off like Spud in Trainspotting and then use each and every british colloquialism I've ever heard!

Dear me Moo - what Okes said!

moo! Good on you!

Extremely rough plans for meet now on FB rocket (and everyone else, of course).

I think we need to have serious talks about whether honey is allowed to retain her Cresh entry pass. She seems to have dropped an actual butterdish

Congrats honey!!!!

Congratulations Honeymoo .

My BF has two very close together (12 months) and they are sooo close now. Hard work to begin with but prob easier in the end from what I gather from her.

MOG! Hurrah and congratulations!

Ooh, whilst I am in here...

Cor blimey!!! I don't come here for absolutely YONKS and when I do, what news honeymonster, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

cossie raises a very good point though.

Whodda thunk it honey - unprotected sechs = baybee?

You'd better not go around saying "I accidentally got pregnant" - "how did my husband's ejaculate fertilise me" etc., etc.! Lest you anger ye BESH.

Thanks chaps!

Ha ha with your butterdish dropping. I guess I was so bloody painful about the whole conception process last time, ordering Mr Moo to drop his kecks twice a day during CBFM green light days that I assumed the same effort would be required. I didn't think it would be actually romantic!!!! :) We had agreed to get going at the end of the year, but to be honest neither of us have been too fussed about contraception so not a huge surprise in all honestly!

Alps you are right - have I drowned my baybee in wine in the first 2 weeks????!!!

It's going to be bloody hard work, but hopefully they will be bezzie mates like you say and make me tea and toast in bed as they get older.

As long as you've not been carrying any cakes you'll be fine.