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Original poster

Leaving a toddler alone in a car for ten minutes

88 replies

DitaVonCheese · 05/05/2010 13:33

I am new to this parenting lark so not sure whether this is a bad thing or I'm just being judgey - perfectly prepared to accept I am

Anyway, DD and I were at soft play this morning. As we were getting back into the car, another car parked alongside us. A bloke got out and I assumed that we were going to have to do some awkward squeezing as he got his DS out as well, but he just mumbled "Jus' be a minute", presumably to me and ducked into the bowling alley next door instead. He did lock his car door but the seat belt got caught in it so it wasn't closed properly. DD then refused to get into her car seat so we were there for a little while, plus I didn't really want to leave the other child alone Bloke was gone ust under 10 minutes. Unless they have radically changed the layout of the bowling alley since I was last there (about 15 years ago to be fair), you can't see the car park from inside.

I freely admit that I have occasionally left DD in the car alone since getting her in and out can be a nightmare, especially if we're not stopping long, but only where I can see the car and I RUN like a demon so have left her for probably 90 seconds max. She is my PFB though

Was I right to be a bit unsettled about bloke leaving his DS (didn't peer right in or anything but he looked around 18 months-ish, strapped in a car seat) or is this fine?

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seeker · 05/05/2010 13:40

I've done this and don't see a problem. But everyone else on mumsnet will come along in a moment and tell you that it is outrageous behaviour and the father concerned should be shot!

Original poster

DitaVonCheese · 05/05/2010 13:49

Yeek, have I stumbled upon one of those topics that causes a 30 page fight? I was actually a bit nervous about posting and am still fully prepared to be flamed for being nosey and interfering, but I can supply his reg no to the pitchfork crowd if they win the debate

OP posts:

MrsJohnDeere · 05/05/2010 13:49

I leave mine in the car for a few minutes when I go to the Post Office. Very quiet village, parking off road in front of the Post Office. Everyone knows everyone sort of place.

I cannot take him inside. He would trash the place, have tantrums on the floor, or run out and on to the road.

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darcymum · 05/05/2010 13:53

I leave all three of mine in the car outside the village shop, but I'm not in the shop for ten minutes.

CantSupinate · 05/05/2010 13:54

I have done it for about 90 seconds, too.
I have seen parents leaving sleeping babies in a locked car at school pickup (so for several minutes, at least); once we left sleeping baby alone in locked car for about 8 minutes while we went to find someone at a rainy village fete. I don't think I've done it since, but I wouldn't judge anyone else for it. Some babies/tots are a NIGHTMARE if woken early from a nap.

theagedparent · 05/05/2010 13:56

I would never leave a young child in the car on their own no matter how short time I was gone for.

Kathyjelly · 05/05/2010 13:58

Ten minutes and out of sight would be too much for me but I had a (relatively new) company car catch fire once. The possibilities don't bear thinking about.

I'll leave ds (who is pfb) in the car if I can see it, so on petrol station forecourt or if popping into village shop but that's about it.

In some states in the US it's illegal even to leave them in the car to go and pay at a filling station kiosk.

Kathyjelly · 05/05/2010 13:59

no idea what the laws are in the UK. Anyone?

greensnail · 05/05/2010 14:05

I've only left DD that long in the car on our driveway. Do leave her for a couple of minutes outside post office, village shop, petrol station etc though.

MmeLindt · 05/05/2010 14:06

Seeker and I are normally the only ones saying it is fine to leave a child in the car a few minutes.

I have to say in this instance, 10 mins was too long.

Couple of minutes while you get something out of the house, or nip into shop to buy milk (corner shop situation, not Tesco) seems to be fine for me, but not 10 mins.

MadamDeathstare · 05/05/2010 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesprouts · 05/05/2010 14:09

i dont drive but would never leave my son in a car by him self

pipoca · 05/05/2010 14:55

so, ilovesprouts you wouldn't leave your child while you paid for petrol, where you could see them?

tinkletinklelittlestar · 05/05/2010 16:00

I leave DD in car when paying for petrol or on the driveway when bringing in the shopping.

10 minutes seems quite a long time to leave a child alone in a car though.

motherbeyond · 05/05/2010 16:14

i once met several friends inside a soft play area...there was one girl there i don't know as well as the others,but nice enough. i presumed someone was looking after her very young baby (older one was there) then after about half an hour...the tiny baby appears..i said "oh,where did she come from?!!"

other girl says "oh,she was in the car outside having a sleep"

i could not believe it,you can't see the carpark from inside and to my knowledge,she hadn't been outside to check...the best bit? she is a POLICE WOMAN!!!!

ilovesprouts · 05/05/2010 17:05

pipoca no

cornsilk · 05/05/2010 17:12

ten minutes is too long. I've also has a car that caught fire so leaving kids in cars scares me. Have seen 2 seperate occasions of children escaping from cars in carparks when they have been left by parents. First was two small children actually wandering around the carpark after being left in the car by their dad. Second was a boy sat by his parent's car in Tesco carpark trying to light matches on the floor. I wouldn't do it.

cornsilk · 05/05/2010 17:13

it's separate isn't it

butterscotch · 05/05/2010 17:22

I leave dd whilst paying for petrol! Also leave her on driveway whilst I unload shopping locked in with her driving! But stering lock Nd hand break on hard but I live in a quiet cul de sac!!!

MrsRhettButler · 05/05/2010 17:29

i'd leave dd for an hour if i could see the car and she was happy or sleeping but i could never go out of sight of the car!

MrsRhettButler · 05/05/2010 17:31

total at motherbeyond's story though... wow

Tyson86 · 05/05/2010 17:34

Only leave ds on his own when paying for petrol and i hate doing that as i cant lock car cos the alarm goes off. He is 23 months old. Never would i leave him alone in the car anywhere else but i live in a council estate in Northampton, not exactly a quaint little village etc.

PlanetEarth · 05/05/2010 18:32

I've done this. Usually when they were asleep!

Skimty · 05/05/2010 19:01

Really depends on the child, I thinkm and the situation. I think this sounds a bit too long but if no harm came of it [shrugs]. If I were you I probably would have hung around anyway, just in case.

Yesterday the kiosk in the car park next to where we parked the car was shut so I dragged DS (3) and DD (19m) across the multistorey car park to pay in another machine. It was only afterwards I thought that they clearly would have been safer in the car. That's why I always leave them in when paying for petrol. However, the queue was once really long and poor DS wet himself which made me feel terrible

Baileysismyfriend · 05/05/2010 19:08

I think ten minutes is way too long!

I have never left either of mine in the car,not even at a petrol station I just go to the pay at pump ones instead.

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