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Original poster

Leaving a toddler alone in a car for ten minutes

88 replies

DitaVonCheese · 05/05/2010 13:33

I am new to this parenting lark so not sure whether this is a bad thing or I'm just being judgey - perfectly prepared to accept I am

Anyway, DD and I were at soft play this morning. As we were getting back into the car, another car parked alongside us. A bloke got out and I assumed that we were going to have to do some awkward squeezing as he got his DS out as well, but he just mumbled "Jus' be a minute", presumably to me and ducked into the bowling alley next door instead. He did lock his car door but the seat belt got caught in it so it wasn't closed properly. DD then refused to get into her car seat so we were there for a little while, plus I didn't really want to leave the other child alone Bloke was gone ust under 10 minutes. Unless they have radically changed the layout of the bowling alley since I was last there (about 15 years ago to be fair), you can't see the car park from inside.

I freely admit that I have occasionally left DD in the car alone since getting her in and out can be a nightmare, especially if we're not stopping long, but only where I can see the car and I RUN like a demon so have left her for probably 90 seconds max. She is my PFB though

Was I right to be a bit unsettled about bloke leaving his DS (didn't peer right in or anything but he looked around 18 months-ish, strapped in a car seat) or is this fine?

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Oblomov · 06/05/2010 12:09

darcy, me neither.

firsttimemum77 · 06/05/2010 12:29

personally speaking I have never even left my child alone in the car whilst I have gone in to pay at the petrol station - it takes seconds for some low life scum to come along and steal your car - with the child in it! I TAKE NO CHANCES!!

I once saw a baby (must have been a few months old) left in his carseat whilst his parents shopped in Tesco's - I reported the vehicle to security so they could keep an eye on it...I came out half hour later and the child was still in there ALONE! I mean come on - you are not even supposed to leave a dog in a car alone...let alone a child!

grapesandmoregrapes · 06/05/2010 13:00

firsttimemum77 - it does actually take longer than a few seconds to break into a locked car and try and steal it without the keys! plus if you can see the car, surely you would notice somebody heading towards it and do something about it then?! don't think that many cars get stolen from petrol station forecourts, lots of cameras, people etc.

i leave both my DDs (2 and 5mo) in the car when paying for petrol, and on my driveway, which is behind locked gates, if they are asleep.

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firsttimemum77 · 06/05/2010 13:47

grapesandmoregrapes - as someone whose friends vehicle was stolen from a petrol forecourt (with cameras and lots of people around) - I can tell you that it can take a matter of seconds... locked car no key...the professional thieves have their ways I guess...My vehicle was stolen from my driveway whilst I was in the house (obviously I can't stare out the window 24/7 to keep an eye on it) so I TAKE NO CHANCES...each parent to their own personal preferences I guess...

LadyBiscuit · 06/05/2010 14:25

My car has a deadlock thingy on it - you cannot move it unless you have the key. So no, it wouldn't be stolen from the petrol forecourt. And I can promise you my DC would be a lot more at risk (both from other drivers and irate shoppers) were I to get them out of the car at the petrol station

Clary · 06/05/2010 14:37

Anyone stealing my car with my DC in it would soon regret it

Lovethesea · 06/05/2010 14:41

I leave DD (17 months) in her carseat while I go in and pay for fuel. I always lock the car and watch through the window as I wait.

I also leave her in the car outside the house while I unload the shopping bags and then take her in - but the front door is open and I am walking back and forward. Very quiet area too.

I wouldn't leave her otherwise - if I've been desperate not to wake her I read my book in the car with her, or just take her in and plonk her in her cot with hope.

She can't undo her seatbelt yet so that would change things, and she's safer strapped in her seat while I unload shopping than near the open front door.

10 mins out of sight though in a public car park seems way too long for me.

pipoca · 06/05/2010 15:13

oh god yes, it'd be far more dangerous for me to try to take DS into the petrol station to pay than leave him strapped in the car. He'd probably get hit by a car, he's scarily good at escaping from me these days!

Oblomov · 06/05/2010 15:58

I can't stop thinking about NonnoMum.
Poor her.
I wonder whether this was helpful. To have the police coma and to have to hand over details.

CantSupinate · 06/05/2010 19:11

at Clary.

ilovesprouts · 06/05/2010 19:59

i was just saying i would not but each to there own

NonnoMum · 06/05/2010 20:05

Thank you for the concern Oblo. Needless to say, DH was subjected to for quite a while.
I won't mention what our jobs are...

Rumpel · 06/05/2010 20:12

OMG I am BAD mummy - I leave mine in the car a lot. I put them in their seats and go back into the house to get stuff ready to go - so much easier than trying to get stuff sorted whilst 2 littlies running around moving stuff, getting in the road etc etc.

Also have left mine in the car as they were fast asleep, and it seemed better to leave them than awaken them and deal with sleep tantrums, to nip into supermarket and get some bits no bobs.

I've also put them in the car after softplay etc then nipped back in to the building so that I can have a pee in peace .

Shoot me down then - I know times have changed and all that - mine used to leave my bro and I in the car for hours whilst they went to the pub (my Dad really, Mum just got dragged along), but flippin heck it is hard to be a perfect Mummy all the time .

Most of us do our best..........

Rumpel · 06/05/2010 20:16

Incidentally I do know people who leave their kids sleeping in car for hours!!!!!!!

Original poster
DitaVonCheese · 06/05/2010 20:20

I used to have a Vauxhall Nova and I have known of a car being nicked from a petrol forecourt, but then the driver did leave the keys in it and £30,000 in cash under one of the seats

I'm wondering now whether he was applying for a job (he came out clutching a leaflet), which is the one circumstance when it would have been hard to take a toddler in or get out fast. Hmm.

OP posts:
ellensmelons · 06/05/2010 21:05

Have 2 toddlers who I collect from nursery at 5pm. Both v grumpy and tired and obviously want to punish me for leaving them all day. Can see car from nursery (about 30 feet away) so got youngest (10mo) and strapped him in. Put on Cbeebies CD then go to get DD (22mo) (screaming)

Dilemma.

No room for pushchair in nursery.

Winter. Can't leave one in pushchair outside - weather terrible.

So - get one, then the other.

Private car park, gated entrance.

Staff concerned about safety of child left in car.

So....

They offer to help!

Feel guilty, but such a nice gesture. Why didn't I ask them?

Anyway, yes, they stay in the car listening to Cbeebies while i get petrol.

It's about risk at the end of the day.

Oblomov · 06/05/2010 21:34

Ha ha Nonnomum. re jobs. tee hee.
I am so very sorry. sorry for you and dh. I can't imagine the benefit, only the pyschological damage this has done. People never appreciate this.

mummyofexcitedprincesses · 06/05/2010 21:56

I never leave mine in the car. Would you leave your bag/phone/purse in the car unattened? Probably not.

Oblomov · 06/05/2010 22:18

mummy , i leave my bag /phone/ purse in the car all the time for ds school drop off.
assume i am not alone for this.

Al1son · 06/05/2010 23:47

I have a friend who regularly used to leave her baby asleep in the car just outside the house. She was able to see her through the window.

One day she was visiting friends when someone noticed a little smoke coming from the front of the car. Within seconds the whole car was on fire. She is very clear that she would not have had time to get out of the house and get her baby out of that car. If it had happened at a different time her baby would have been dead.

For that reason I never leave children in cars. I ensure that I don't need to buy fuel when I have them with me, I use pay at pump fuel stations, or I take them in with me.

I wouldn't take a gamble on leaving a small child out of sight in a car anyway. How long does it take to put a window through and kidnap a child? Small risk I know but catastrophic if it does happen.

seeker · 06/05/2010 23:56

So a car with the ignition turned off spontaneously combusted?????

WitchBoxToX · 07/05/2010 00:00

nope, no to babies or toddlers left in car imho.

These days my two dses occasionally choose to sit in the car whilst I run in to the shop for a carton of milk (never more than a couple of mins) but they're 6 and 9 years old, and sometimes prefer to stay in the car and fight talk than go into the shop.

Cazwa · 07/05/2010 00:31

I leave my DS asleep in the car a lot. On driveway all the time, I check on him every 5 minutes. And have to admit I have left him asleep while going to the supermarket.

RedLadyBiscuit · 07/05/2010 01:04

I just don't believe that a car spontaneously combusted when the ignition was off. Actually I can't think of that happening to a single car of anyone I've ever known even when the engine was turned on. My aunt did have smoke coming out of her engine and there was a small fire under the bonnet but the car still didn't catch fire. But then she hadn't been a negligent parent so I don't suppose it would have done

NinaJane · 07/05/2010 08:57

I live in South Africa - last year a couple went shopping with their children (it was their little girl's 3rd birthday party that day and they went to go get some last minute goodies). On the way home, the 3 year old fell asleep in the car. When they got home, the parents took their youngest dd out of the car, but left the older one to sleep (the car was parked in their driveway) as they carried their shopping into the house.

Once all the shopping was out of the car, they decided to start blowing up some balloons for the party, while their little girl slept on. Every now and again they would look out the window to see if their little one was OK in the car - they did not notice anything untoward. She was in the car for about 10 minutes when the parents heard the car's alarm go off. They raced outside only to see that the car was on fire! They opened the door to try and get her out, but her carseat's belts had melted into her (she had already died at that stage from smoke inhalation). When they eventually got her out, it was too late.

Extensive investigations into why the car caught fire were carried out and it was established that the rear door's automatic window mechanism was faulty for a week prior to the incident, but the mom did not have time to have it looked at and to have it fixed. A spark from the mechanism ignited the padding in the door.

I used to leave my little ones asleep in the car in my driveway before this tragedy, but have not done so since.