School reported daughter's dream to social services, should I complain?

[Maya2233]

Hi, I need some advice. My daughter, she just turned four, is in reception.We have a very loving and beautiful relationship i never even shouted at her. I love her so much. Never had any complaint in nursery or never anything of any sort. So what happened is I went to pick her up today and the head teacher, she called me on the side and it was during the carpet time that she mentioned that mummy hit me on the head. the teacher who was there, was not the class teacher. class teacher was absent. She was another teacher. So she took her to the office and there my daughter, she said the same thing and then she said that it was a dream. So what they did is they reported this to the social services. I am so cross at this as she did mention that it was a dream. And when I went to pick her up and I asked her, the first thing she said was that mummy, I saw a dream last night that you hit me on the head. So I am so unhappy about this, and I don't know how to take this forward, because how can you complain this thing to the social services? The social services didn't even contact me.I don't know why would they bother about a dream. But I am so upset about this. Do I have any rights to complain about the teacher? The class teacher came today she was also surprized and said i know you guys and i am so sorry about this and i will handle everything.

Sorry bit of a segue here but from a fellow mum of a four year old...you've NEVER shouted at her?!

Some people have the zen! I must say I'd lost count by 4

I have also have been reported for a non event and while i was heartbroken , enraged and terrified snd all the normal emotions
i felt so powerless and utterly terrified its awful , if you haven’t gone through it you can’t begin to imagine what its like

if was all sorted in a phone call they didnt bother coming around

I'm not surprised that Maya2233 hasn't replied to anything here. There have been some really nasty and vindictive replies. Do people think that she would really post on here if she was responsible for hitting her child?

It's common for abused children to backtrack if they think they've said too much. In your shoes you don't complain, you're thankful that they listened to your daughter and took it seriously. Next time it might not be 'mummy hit me on the head' it might be 'the babysitter touched me' or 'mummy's friend hurt me'. What if they ignored her then because she suddenly said it was a dream.

Either a very inexperienced teacher, or BS from OP.
We've had two siblings come through school with no cause for concern at all until the third one joined. It shocked us, but nobody said "it'll be nothing, we know them"!

Then I’m not sure I understood your comment.

Are you saying you would or wouldn’t report a neighbour’s child to SS if they said they dreamed of being hit?

And do you think teachers (or neighbours) should exercise judgment in deciding what to report?

The school did nothing wrong, if they feel uncomfortable they should report.

With that said my niece had a wonderful imagination and would frequently come out with the plot of stories she read and say it like it was a memory.

Thankfully her teachers knew her well (she never stopped chattering). But some of the things sounded so bad in isolation. Stuff about being locked in a tower, or eating roasted fox for dinner, or walking through the woods by herself.

This is a completely appropriate referral, the school did the right thing.

School did the right thing.

I know it feels rubbish. But they did the right thing.

Thinking someone can’t be a risk because you know them is the most dangerous attitude to have when it comes to safeguarding. You have to be professionally curious and take every concern seriously and follow the right process.

as school staff it isn’t our job to decide who does or doesn’t pose a risk. We follow procedures and if the information presents as such the DSL will refer on further for other agencies for them to get involved if needed.

Please don’t complain . The system worked well and a safeguarding issue was addressed. Don’t waste the time of the school and Social Work as this will divert resources from a child who may be in need .

Be thankful that we have protection for children here and accept that there will always be innocent situations that will need to be checked / investigated as appropriate .

Please don't complain. It's better for a childs comment be investigated and found to be wrong than someone not bothering when it could be abuse.

Our ds told his teacher that dad was always at the pub and came home in the morning.
DH got an extra job at the weekend in a hotel bar. Barman and night porter.

I've been here. DC told her teacher that I punched her in the face! No idea why she said that as I'd done nothing of the sort.

Its difficult for the school to know what to do in these circumstances. Kids say all kinds of random things but they didn't know if she was talking nonsense or disclosing abuse. They reported it but in the absence of any other concerns it won't be taken any further. I'd accept the apology and then have a good chat with DC about how it worries people when she says things like that and not to do it again.

My niece’s son told School that his dad held a knife to the throat of his older brother ( who has a different dad) along with hitting his sister. Social services did investigate and dad had to go on an anger management course. But most of it they felt was made up! It was the right thing to investigate as too many abused children slip through the net. Let them do what they feel is necessary and it will be closed.

You've never shouted at your child?

Theres nothing to complain about. Did the school explain how safeguarding works when your daughter joined the school? The teacher will have told the nominated safeguarding person who then has rang the education boards safeguarding line who record and advise or trigger further interviews which may be social worker or police, or because of childs young age you could get a health Visitor check. But I would expect that its just been recorded as childs dream no further action, unless she makes another disclosure

The school or teacher have done nothing wrong here. They’re not accusing you of anything. They have just reported the incident and passed it on to the relevant authorities. They are legally bound to follow safeguarding procedures like this. It’s irrelevant if your child says it was a dream or not. Loads of children may say that under duress or to protect their parents when they come to a realisation.

This only happened today

SS have received a school referral. They will be in contact @Maya2233

A 4 year old at nursery is NOT a liar ffs ! They chat all manner of shite but sadly sometimes do reveal abuse in amongst that chatter

Complain about what? Them doing their job? You work with them not against them

You school safeguarded your child. That is excellent, what if it was another child and they ignored it and missed an opportunity to protect that child? If you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about. And tbh the likelihood of SS doing anything more than a courtesy call is remote.

Try not to take it personally. They had a child saying you hit them but they only said the dream part when taken out. As she's so young they'd have no idea if they were just adding that to protect you.

Don't blame the school, blame the absolute scum who DO abuse their kids. It means everyone has to follow these rules to try and stop those poor souls slipping through the net.

Must be very hard. A friend's daughter bruises easily, and clumsy as I don't know what. Legs always with bruises, only in the front where she walks into things. She never said anything to anyone at school, but they saw it at PE and reported them. They are now under regular supervision. She was furious too, because she is professional and rich, but I think they were right to report as abuse happens in all types of families. Obviously I believe my friend, obviously she does not hit her daughter.

So a child says their mummy hit them on the head and the school did their job and contacted social services are you are annoyed??? Would you rather the school ignored children when they said things, i would be very interested in why she is having worry dreams about being hit on the head and how do you know someone else hasnt hit her on the head.....